What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[TheSkaFish]

I just wanted to tell you I can relate to you perfectly. The feeling of being alone, the feeling of wondering what's wrong, the feeling of being incapable of anything at all, how it seems like everyone else has such an easy time finding their place in the world, and how nobody seems to understand. You can always talk to me about this. I know how you feel.

Here's to hoping we both find decent jobs soon.

((hugs))

^ Thank you, Ska.

Any time.

---

This is a summarized breakdown of my situation:

I've been steadily looking for work since I graduated from college in 2009, almost 7 years ago now. In all that time, I've only had two interviews, and one temp job manufacturing parts for sleep apnea machines.

I'm not lazy. I've been a volunteer for various organizations since I was 11 years old. I worked hard in school. I worked two jobs (one office and one retail) and an internship while in college, in addition to dealing with severe depression and PTSD (to say nothing of Asperger's), completely alone; an overload of work and stress which burned me out and literally almost killed me. I was getting 0 hours of sleep most nights. I suffered permanent brain damage and a heart attack at 21.

I lost both jobs upon graduation due to company layoffs. The organization I was interning at was on a hiring freeze due to the recession. After graduation I continued on there as a volunteer. Four years later they began hiring again. I was told to apply because "they love to hire volunteers". Obviously, none of the new hires was me.

I've been to the work centers in my area and the Career Services department at my alma mater for help. Their "services" were mock interviews and information about job fairs, neither of which have helped. I've had classes on constructing my resume and cover letters.

I had to move in with my father. He's a programmer, and I was essentially forced into computer science at his behest. In exchange for living there without rent, he told me I had to go back to a school of his choice, studying a program of his choice. He gave me a choice between programming and accounting, and I took the former. I've been working on my "1-year degree" for 3 years now. I have absolutely no interest in it or talent for it. I haven't even developed the skill to do it, because I barely understand it.

Oh, dear. I had no idea about your story, Solivagant. I mean, even if it wasn't as bad as all that, I would still have felt for you because it's a tough situation, but I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time.

And I'm also sorry to hear that you are being forced to study something that you have no interest in against your will. I know what that's like. I wasn't forced to study certain subjects by my parents but rather by society under the threat of living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life.

I wish there was a way both of us could figure out how we could make money and do something we liked at the same time.

Anyway, this was more a rant than anything else. Feel free to ignore.

It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it out, without asking for advice or without the fear of judgment. I feel that this should be a safe space for people to rant when they need to.

 

[jblanch3]

I have my road test tomorrow, and am hoping that I pass this time. I'm just trying to keep it real. My brother asked me earlier if I was amped for it, and I said, "not really." I'm just trying to hope for the best, prepare for the worst as the saying goes.

 

[Solivagant]

It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it out, without asking for advice or without the fear of judgment. I feel that this should be a safe space for people to rant when they need to.

Thanks Ska. I know that you and I have had some similar difficulties in this area. I really appreciate that you understand where I'm coming from. I hope that things work out for the better for both of us soon.

This was the first time in a long time that I've ventured to disclose anything about my life here in more than vague detail. I've not yet told anyone on the forum my "sob story", though I've wanted to at times. (Actually I guess I have several, but there's one that stands out from the rest.) A couple years ago I wrote out a condensed version of it to post, but I still haven't. I don't know if I can. Maybe someday...

I have my road test tomorrow, and am hoping that I pass this time. I'm just trying to keep it real. My brother asked me earlier if I was amped for it, and I said, "not really." I'm just trying to hope for the best, prepare for the worst as the saying goes.

Good luck!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wondering if there was ever a time my so called family didn't treat me like crap and think it's okay but not okay for me to speak out about it.

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

Randomly thought about all the little pets I had during my childhood years. Then that got me thinking about how my childhood felt like several lifetimes ago. How it's so different to think about events during those years..looking back at them now through adult eyes & wisdom. Remembering how I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up & thought things would just fall into place. I, of course, didn't understand how the world worked.
Welp, I grew up to be nothing. Just like all the discussions my high school counselors warned students about. Still searching for my niche. Maybe I can create one instead.

 

[Peaches]

feeling really discouraged, why are all the shops somewhere else than the address they put online, and why can't no one speak english?

 

[Aisha]

Hungry, sleepy, tired, irritable.. everything my mind can do to make me avoid the task in front of me, it is now attempting. I will win this round. But I really do need to eat first. And get coffee.

 

[Serenia]

What is the whinging, it won't change anything, I will still be doing it all alone.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it out, without asking for advice or without the fear of judgment. I feel that this should be a safe space for people to rant when they need to.

Thanks Ska. I know that you and I have had some similar difficulties in this area. I really appreciate that you understand where I'm coming from. I hope that things work out for the better for both of us soon.

I just keep telling myself that there's got to be something out there I could do, got to be some way that we could make decent money doing something we can at least find acceptable until we can do what we really want to.

I just hope my words were able to make you feel a little better in the meantime.

This was the first time in a long time that I've ventured to disclose anything about my life here in more than vague detail. I've not yet told anyone on the forum my "sob story", though I've wanted to at times. (Actually I guess I have several, but there's one that stands out from the rest.) A couple years ago I wrote out a condensed version of it to post, but I still haven't. I don't know if I can. Maybe someday...

Well, just take your time. I know you don't need someone to say this but you don't have to post anything you're not comfortable with. You're a good person, Solivagant, and I'm sure there are lots of people who would be here for you in any event.

 

[BeyondShy]

I wish there was a way both of us could figure out how we could make money and do something we liked at the same time.

Do you realize how many people work at jobs that they hate for an entire career just to get paid? Sure it sucks but they have no choice. I hope no one in here has to do that.

It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it out, without asking for advice or without the fear of judgment. I feel that this should be a safe space for people to rant when they need to.

Excuse me but that should be the case for everyone here and not just a select few.

This was the first time in a long time that I've ventured to disclose anything about my life here in more than vague detail. I've not yet told anyone on the forum my "sob story", though I've wanted to at times. (Actually I guess I have several, but there's one that stands out from the rest.) A couple years ago I wrote out a condensed version of it to post, but I still haven't. I don't know if I can. Maybe someday...

There's no time clock on this. You have to feel comfortable with yourself to do it. The only thing I am sure of is that whatever you share will be met with understanding and compassion.

 

[Paraiyar]

It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it out, without asking for advice or without the fear of judgment. I feel that this should be a safe space for people to rant when they need to.

Excuse me but that should be the case for everyone here and not just a select few.

Did he not say "this should be a safe space for people" i.e, everyone?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I wish there was a way both of us could figure out how we could make money and do something we liked at the same time.

Do you realize how many people work at jobs that they hate for an entire career just to get paid? Sure it sucks but they have no choice. I hope no one in here has to do that.

I do, and it makes me angry and sad to think about it, to think about all the time we're forced to waste, to think about people never realizing their dreams or potential. It's punishment for existing. This is why I feel like the job world is like a big jail of sorts. I hope no one in here has to do that either.

It's okay. Sometimes you need to let it out, without asking for advice or without the fear of judgment. I feel that this should be a safe space for people to rant when they need to.

Excuse me but that should be the case for everyone here and not just a select few.

I agree. It should be a safe space for people to open up.

---

Did he not say "this should be a safe space for people" i.e, everyone?

Indeed, I meant everyone. Everyone should be able to speak out here, because so often you can't in real life. Either no one can help you even if they wanted to, or you can't open up because there are those around who would use it against you. That leaves us with the Internet as an outlet, because bottling this stuff up inside too long would just drive a person crazy.

 

[BeyondShy]

I do, and it makes me angry and sad to think about it, to think about all the time we're forced to waste, to think about people never realizing their dreams or potential. It's punishment for existing. This is why I feel like the job world is like a big jail of sorts. I hope no one in here has to do that either.

I can't dispute what you are saying. In some ways it is like a jail because you got to be there to get that paycheck so you can pay the mortgage, get food, etc, etc.

I'm lucky that this is something that has not affected me during my working career.

I agree. It should be a safe space for people to open up.

This is a safe place to open up. It just depends on who you are. You can open up at any time. Me? Not so much. Because people actually listen to you.

Indeed, I meant everyone. Everyone should be able to speak out here, because so often you can't in real life. Either no one can help you even if they wanted to, or you can't open up because there are those around who would use it against you.

Everyone should be able to but can they? Not in here anyway. If I say what I think right now and what is bothering me 700 people out of 1000 won't care and the other 300 will claim they never saw it.

 

[Paraiyar]

^You can still speak out. People might disagree or not say anything but we aren't going to burn you at the stake.

 

[BeyondShy]

^You can still speak out. People might disagree or not say anything but we aren't going to burn you at the stake.

Oh I know that won't happen because that means some may have to make an effort concerning me. It's hard to speak out knowing that whatever you say is ignored.

Anyway, thank you. Thanks for telling me I can still speak out. I appreciate it.

 

[Solivagant]

The only thing I am sure of is that whatever you share will be met with understanding and compassion.

I wish I were as sure of that. =/

or you can't open up because there are those around who would use it against you.

Unfortunately the same is often just as true of people online.

because bottling this stuff up inside too long would just drive a person crazy.

Too true.

 

[user 115627]

Why would anyone want to ignore this? I mean you will because I wrote this but all you did was say how you felt.

Oh I know that won't happen because that means some may have to make an effort concerning me. It's hard to speak out knowing that whatever you say is ignored.

It's stuff like that...

You can take that as hostile or not, but I'll just say: You got yourself into that position. You have a history of passive-aggressiveness which proceeds you. It ain't nice when people don't respond to your posts, but just because you responded to some of theirs doesn't mean they'll do the same for you. Especially if the consequence is that they are compelled to reply to everything you say from now on, just so you don't take an opportunity to put yourself into the ground and get pissed at them. Nobody owes you anything, just like the boy at the checkout line. No matter if it's the sharing of a personal story, a nice gesture, a creative piece or a message of condolence.

I'm saying this because I got a reputation on my own: I don't like it when people pity me even when I post personal stuff and the consequence is that they don't. My art is mostly unaccessible and the consequence is that people reply very little. And don't get me started on my internet bullshit thread. Goodness, I couldn't get pissed everytime people don't respond with a "LOL" to a funny picture.

This my opinion, feel free to dump it in the trash.

 

[Paraiyar]

BeyondShy, I think what people are trying to say is that you'll find life better if you ease up on the defensiveness a bit. No one on this forum is out to get you so just worry less

 

[Serenia]

I am feeling so overwhelmed at the moment, everything feels so hard. It is a good job I have my friends to make me laugh and talk to, and swapping messages with a nice man, who 'seems' to be thoughtful and funny.

 

[Peaches]

wondering why everyone I meet stays at a distance, it's always like I am alone deserted in an island, and people get close to the shore, but never reach close enough to touch - I wish I had a volleyball to call Wilson...
Can't wait to have a therapist to help me understand why I am so bloody hideous to everyone