What are you thinking right now?

[Triple Bogey]

I can never feel part of anything. Other people with all their families, partners - me by myself all the time. The single people I know are single by choice, they could date if they wanted. Other people have a choice, they attract people. I attract no one. I smile at people and talk to them but some of the time I want to be by myself. I want to be away from it all.

If there was a league table for people based on attraction to the opposite sex, I would be bottom of it, so far down it's impossible for anything decent to happen. Among the rubbish few who have no chance whatsoever.

 

[9006]

What a blast from the past, music is powerful!

 

[Peaches]

being so alone kills half of my potential, I could have done so many things only by having the stability of a partner instead of spending all this time being sad and worrying and trying to socialize

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Way more confident about this course than I was last night- amazed at how much is sinking in. Helps to have a good instructor.

 

[Peaches]

….

 

[TheRealCallie]

I should be working, but dammit, I don't want to.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I should be working, but dammit, I don't want to.

I'll fill in for you....take a break!
BUT...considering I sucked at that kind of work, you may want to rethink that break.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Wow- someone who has a real grasp and understanding of where I'm at and the difficult situation I've found myself in summed up things perfectly. I'm humbled, appreciative of the understanding, and thankful.

 

[MTrip]

I don't like to sound like some Tea Party nutjob, but if the federal gov't can't roll out a decent website on the first try, how can you realistically expect it to fix our country's health care crisis? I hate HMOs too...but only last week did the site work well enough for me to get an application going.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Today I really DO have to work. No excuses. Must think of the medical bills I'm going to have to pay.

I should be working, but dammit, I don't want to.

I'll fill in for you....take a break!
BUT...considering I sucked at that kind of work, you may want to rethink that break.

(goo)

 

[Peaches]

where do I find a therapist? the yellow pages don't seem a great idea

 

[9006]

I think I'm unwell, I wish I knew for certain.

 

[ladyforsaken]

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's not just them I miss, you ******* idiot. I miss YOU too. Why can't you see that? You've known me my entire life, how can you just believe what she tells you...how can you not see that everything she says is a lie?
One thing she will never be able to change is that you will ALWAYS be my brother and even if it makes me a complete and utter fool, I will ALWAYS fight to make you see that.

 

[Triple Bogey]

hope this sun lasts !

 

[lonelyfairy]

I hope it isn't anything serious..

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't want the rest of my life to feel like a war, but at the same time, I know I have to fight to get a better life. The problem is, there really isn't anything I can think of that I do better than anyone else. Ever since kindergarten started and I was told that my life wasn't really mine and that I had to go to someplace I didn't want to go to do things I didn't want to do for 5 days a week, I've felt that I wanted out. I wanted to be in control of my own life again. But idk what I can do to start a business and free myself. I have lots of interests but no special skills or talents.

However, I also have this deep "knowing" inside that I just have to be capable of more than some bullshit minimum wage job. I don't know how I know, or why I know, I just know I don't want to go through the rest of my life as a victim of the capitalism and of those who have more money. I have to be capable of making a better life than just living to pay bills, fresia that, that's slavery. I simply cannot allow myself to become another "adult" by which I mean a person whose motto is, "life's a *****, then you die".

I'm more than that. I just know it. But at the same time, I also want to be able to play again. I want to be able to have fun again like I used to. I see-saw between this aggression I have to make a good life, and my desire to play like when I was young. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could be a kid again.

 

[Triple Bogey]

wow 30 friends on facebook !

 

[TheSkaFish]

The weather in Chicago really sucks. Just checked the forecast....yet ANOTHER week of temperatures below 30. Most days even below 20. I like exercising and going outside and I really hate cold. It's nice here in late spring and summer but I'd say the weather is honeysuckle here for a very good chunk of the year. It begs the question - stay here with family and friends but where the weather is godawful from November through April, or move someplace where it's actually warm and nice for most of the year, but without anyone I know?

 

[Peaches]

you just can't trust anyone, that's the sad truth