What are you thinking right now?

[priscella]

Ahsatan at least you have "common sense" and thanks for the message... Priscella..

 

[TheSkaFish]

^ Yeeeeeppppppp.

It helps to NOT be boring. The nicer you are the worst it'll be for you. That's why bad boy losers do well. The more outgoing the better.

Hey man.  First off, I totally agree, and thanks for understanding, instead of trying to beat me over the head with the idea of "it's all random".  No, it **** well isn't.  How is this meathead type always "compatible" and has "chemistry", and me and people like me always don't?  Doesn't sound very random to me.  It's like saying a coin that got heads 100 times in a row is random.  No way.  

The thing is, people aren't universally winners and losers.  Some people might be a loser in one area of life but a winner in another.  Bad boys often are losers in society, but are winners socially.  The appeal to base instincts, the lizard brain, violence, destruction, conquest, brutish cunning, the primitive mating drive, pure raw power.  That's what sells, and I don't have it.  It's not natural to me, I wasn't born with the right traits and instincts for it.

Sturgis just happened.  A whole crowd of people like this who just blew off the whole COVID thing.  A lot of them are probably going to get it and die, and even if they didn't, they're probably going to die of lifestyle diseases unnecessarily early anyway from their reckless risk-taker antagonistic lifestyle.  It's like they have no concept of consequences or the future, or think that bad things only happen to other people - not them.  It's a massive Dunning-Kruger effect.  Or they think they are OK with dying because to them it's an abstract concept in the future, not something they are facing imminently.  I don't understand it.

I've spent years trying to figure out how to not be boring and I just don't know how.  I feel like I just don't have the natural talent, the instincts or the vision to get the right thoughts/ideas/feelings to be an exotic, interesting person (at the same time, I'm not happy with, and don't even really fit in with the buttoned-down crowd, they leave me feeling like there's got to be something more than that, some people with more interesting ideas and character, and I wish I was there with them but I don't know how to be).  I don't know what to do.  Just start random fights?  Go around flipping people off?  I guess I have to lift first cause if I did that now I'd get my ass beat.  Randomly throw bricks at cars?  Do some graffiti?  Get really into guns and knives?  Get wasted every single day?  I don't know what will make me "exciting" enough or where the stories are.  

Target a beached whale and act like she's the honeysuckle. You absolutely have to have her or you will die. Always be there. Keep asking her out. Eventually it'll work. After you bang a few weights you'll have female stickem on you. Then you can target hotter ones with that and your new found confidence. Remember, women want what other women have.

See I don't think that would work though.  It sounds desperate and desperation is weakness, submissiveness, it always comes back to that dichotomy of strength and weakness, power and no power, high status/value and low status/value.  

I've actually managed to attract women before (sort of) but it's always the wrong ones, always just random people I'm not interested in, because when I talk to them I'm not trying to do anything, I'm just trying to pass the time.  So it probably seems like I have that "cool" "i dont care" attitude, when I actually don't care, and I'm not playing games.  I'm not nervous or worried about making mistakes cause I'm totally uninvested. I don't act desperate with them because I'm not, I don't want anything from them.  But it works because I don't want them.  I'm just talking.  I couldn't act like that with people I'm actually interested in.

But, it is nearly impossible to be a prick when you've been trained to be nice and responsible your entire life.

So much this.  The thing is, I think I would still be like this even if I wasn't trained to be.  I just don't have the natural strengths or instincts to be a bad guy.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Oh Brother what immature "brats" you are....

Being a gangster wannabe, and making all the bad lifestyle decisions that go with it like blowing off education, getting into booze drugs and violence, destroying things, spending life in and out of jail, being hostile to everyone around you for hostility's sake and thinking that flipping off society is the ultimate goal in life, is being an immature brat. But nobody has a problem with it. I don't see myself as immature, just frustrated. It's a little hard to just be OK with everything when you're always shut out and you have to self-improve endlessly but it probably won't ever be enough because you're just not the right kind of person. Meanwhile you've got people that look like they're actively trying to be screwups, coasting through life thoughtlessly and carelessly, and getting rewarded without having to improve at all just cause they were just born the right kind of person.

They are not saying me me me

Females have instincts that men have not learn"d to use and they want to be cared about and pampered so do the job and care about them but with no interest in any of "treasures" that it might bring to yourself..Have a disinterested look at it and make them feel beautiful instead of just a thing to have and use....

"Me me me" is their life philosophy, as is thinking women are a thing to have and use. They say these things openly, they've been living their whole lives like this, and because of what they are naturally, it's accepted. If you have power, people tolerate that kind of behavior from you, that they'd never tolerate from a "lesser" person who hasn't "earned" the right to act that way. Trump is a case in point (I don't care politically one way or the other, just an example). He's blatantly me me me and thinks women are things, yet it hasn't stopped him at all. In fact, he even has lots of female fans, in spite of being open about how he views them.

I don't want to fight you because you've been nice to me in the past when I've had bad days, but being accused of this is a little hard to take when it's like, this stuff that you're faulting me for, isn't really what I do but it's exactly what they do. It's not even just me saying it, because they even say it themselves. Their whole life is an expression of it.

Look at the men out there who have successful relationships especially if they are married.

It seems to have happened randomly based on the natural talents/strengths, interests, and instincts these guys have. I used to think I could copy it but now I'm not so sure. I have interests but most of them aren't traditionally manly, and I seem to have no talent, strength, cunning, or instinct. I'm starting to feel like the reason I'm not succeeding at attracting someone is that it's natural selection taking its course. I can't attract anyone I like because I can't out-compete the competition, because they have more natural advantages. It's survival of the fittest and I'm not the fittest, these jackasses have more evolutionary/reproductive fitness than me, peacocking and threat displays, and therefore what's happening to me is seen by the world as just and right, the game working as it should.

I don't know, maybe there's nothing more to say. I'm aware that these kinds of thoughts aren't welcome here, for some reason you're expected to be relentlessly positive to the point of willful ignorance, even when life has given you no reason to be, in a support space. But I'm sick and tired, and I'm at wit's end. I just wish I had an answer. But this latest problem is making me really start to feel like the answer just might be, if you weren't born as the right kind of person with the right traits and instincts, the mating game just isn't for you. Maybe I need to just accept that I don't have the power and instincts to compete. It's hard to compete with someone who isn't expected to self-improve at all because they just so happened to be the right kind of person, when I am nowhere even close to good enough, and any self-improvement I attempt would probably just be written off anyway because it's been predetermined that I'm not good enough no matter what I do, I'm just randomly the wrong kind of person, I don't have any impressive or interesting enough traits. I feel like no amount of self-improvement can ever make up for just not being born as the right kind of person. A mouse can't just "work hard" and "self-improve" and transform into a tiger. That's the thing I've always disliked about attraction and dating that I felt but could never put to words - it all seems to run on the idea of you are or you aren't, you're in or you're out, you're a winner or you're a loser. Cold, cruel, uncaring survival of the fittest predetermines whether attraction will be a game for you to win, or just limitations and despair. Like I said. I'm tired.

 

[priscella]

You are tired----tired of losing when it involves the opposite sex and you dare use the excuse " for not being born the right kind of person-"---people need to figure all of this out for themselves there is no amount of education and successes in life that will help you with any of your problems. Life always has some kind of consequences when one makes their decisions but is it really decision making or is it following the path that our life leads us to then we look at the consequences and blame life.
There are different categories of people the have not's and the have's ----as long as you think you are a have not then you will follow a path of sadness where you can offer no one any happiness at all--who would want to get in a relationship with that type of person? You have just given up and given up too easily. Why I could tell you stories that would make your life seem good. Your life is good and you need to do just like everyone else take day by day.. Heck when I came to this forum I just lost three friends that I had to give up on because "they did not care one iota about me" --it was a hard lesson but now I am feeling better about the whole situation. I handled it through trial and error to learn how to be happy within myself---its hard for I was in the very same attitude that you are in right now but "somehow" I am climbing out little by little-day by day...I get up in the morning and think--Oh another day-ugh--but then I trudge on and before that day is ended there is always something to be thankful for no matter how small it is--its something....Carry on dear forum friend and you have so much and you are so smart and for now you are just down down down...Get up put music on and do a dance in the kitchen to the assorted Gods in your life and love yourself more..That's the lesson for this day--Love yourself more....Priscella

 

[Serenia]

How many new policies will be in place tomorrow after three weeks away.

 

[Finished]

I think both of you have two much hate in your life with a lot of jealous attitudes towards other men then you have total disrespect for the woman that fall in love with them. You are losing both ways. Look at the men out there who have successful relationships especially if they are married. Their lives look happy and fulfilled and they are both working at it real hard bringing in food and money for the children and to create a good environment for themselves. They are not saying me me me ---and they bring happiness to their mate. If she hates driving--you drive..If she hates cooking--you cook...If she hates children then don;t have any--whatever she dislikes you fill in the void and stop complaining about "nothing" and your cup will run over..Females have instincts that men have not learn"d to use and they want to be cared about and pampered so do the job and care about them but with no interest in any of "treasures" that it might bring to yourself..Have a disinterested look at it and make them feel beautiful instead of just a thing to have and use....Oh Brother what immature "brats" you are....lol   priscella.

Ha! ha! So, rattling cages isn't out of the realm. Good. But, comments like that stem from ignorance to a modern day problem. As in, "What would someone from the older generations say." I can help one with education later.

Well said

Believing a problem doesn't exist doesn't make it go away or it isn't true. There's too much documentation to prove otherwise. There are several threads on here including some I started, talking about my experiences. Besides isn't spreading sadness and complaining one's primary activity. Best stick to what one knows best.

Target a beached whale and act like she's the honeysuckle. You absolutely have to have her or you will die. Always be there. Keep asking her out. Eventually it'll work. After you bang a few weights you'll have female stickem on you. Then you can target hotter ones with that and your new found confidence. Remember, women want what other women have.

See I don't think that would work though.  It sounds desperate and desperation is weakness, submissiveness, it always comes back to that dichotomy of strength and weakness, power and no power, high status/value and low status/value.  

Try it. As un-attractive to women as we are, there are plenty of un-attractive women that are desperate. I have known several and had long conversation about it with them. What attracts others has always interested me. They are just dying for some attention. 

Sure, the attractive ones instantly see desperation and one would get the BS button. That's why you need to get the female stickem on you. Trace female pheromones attract the hotter chicks, Stacy. They already can get what they want. So, they want what other women have. It's primal.
 
But, you still have to play their BS game to hook them. Obviously, that'll be a huge challenge. But, once they believe they have you, whatever degree that happens to be for them, one gets the BS button right back to the friend's zone, ignored, or kicked to the curb. That just might be you hinting about meeting them for dinner. They'll think, yep, I can have him if I wanted him. Done! Next! Really just try it as an experiment. You might even find a slimmer beached whale that you end up liking. Some of them are really nice. But, I think we've kill any chance of that happening with the forum member's here. Ha! Ha!

Remember:

Ha! Ha!

 

[MissBehave]

You are tired----tired of losing when it involves the opposite sex and you dare use the excuse " for not being born the right kind of person-"---people need to figure all of this out for themselves there is no amount of education and successes in life that will help you with any of your problems. Life always has some kind of consequences when one makes their decisions but is it really decision making or is it following the path  that our life leads us to then we look at the consequences and blame life.
There are different categories of people the have not's and the have's ----as long as you think you are a have not then you will follow a path of sadness where you can offer no one any happiness at all--who would want to get in a relationship with that type of person? You have just given up and given up too easily. Why I could tell you stories that would make your life seem good. Your life is good and you need to do just like everyone else take day by day.. Heck when I came to this forum I just lost three friends that I had to give up on because "they did not care one iota about me" --it was a hard lesson but now I am feeling better about the whole situation. I handled it through trial and error to learn how to be happy within myself---its hard for I was in the very same attitude that you are in right now but "somehow" I am climbing out little by little-day by day...I get up in the morning and think--Oh another day-ugh--but then I trudge on and before that day is ended there is always something to be thankful for no matter how small it is--its something....Carry on dear forum friend and you have so much and you are so smart and for now you are just down down down...Get up put music on and do a dance in the kitchen to the assorted Gods in your life and love yourself more..That's the lesson for this day--Love yourself more....Priscella

Your 2 last posts is very judgmental against TheSkaFish. Comparing his pain vs yours and using it to show that he just has to "suck it up" is utterly hopeless. 

It seems to me that he's trying very hard and you find that it's ok to call it bratty behavior.
It is not ok for you to attack his thoughts like this. If you have a heart to try to help, then do so but going at it like this is kind of disgusting.
BTW, if a man would say to a women that she needs do all the thing a man doesn't like to do, then there would be a lot of screaming about how disgusting it is to say something like that.

 

[priscella]

People have different opinions on that and if he is hurt by it let him say so and I will at that time make amends--but he knows what I am writing about and what behavior is bratty let him tell me he was hurt then I will of course say I am sorry...It not your business for I was not posting to you and you in my opinion your out of bounds here...Priscella..

 

[TheSkaFish]

Your 2 last posts is very judgmental against TheSkaFish. Comparing his pain vs yours and using it to show that he just has to "suck it up" is utterly hopeless. 

It seems to me that he's trying very hard and you find that it's ok to call it bratty behavior.
It is not ok for you to attack his thoughts like this. If you have a heart to try to help, then do so but going at it like this is kind of disgusting.
BTW, if a man would say to a women that she needs do all the thing a man doesn't like to do, then there would be a lot of screaming about how disgusting it is to say something like that.

People have different opinions on that and if he is hurt by it let him say so and I will at that time make amends--but he knows what I am writing about and what behavior is bratty let him tell me he was hurt then I will of course say I am sorry...It not your business for I was not posting to you and you in my opinion your out of bounds here...Priscella..

Hey, I just wanted to say, please don't fight.  It was just a stream-of-consciousness vent.  This has happened to me a lot where I'll vent about something and it turns into a fight, sometimes not even involving me.  Believe it or not, I don't always mean for this to be the case.  Most of the time it's just about getting something off my chest and saying it here because it wouldn't work anywhere else.

MissBehave, thank you for defending me, but there was nothing to defend against as I didn't really feel under attack.  I don't think I'm really trying but then again I'm not sure that it would matter if I did, or if there is anything for me to try at all. I'm angry that I can't seem to win because I don't seem to naturally have what it takes, but I don't know what more I can do.
And I think Priscella was just saying, try to be complementary, almost like be a good teammate.

Priscella, I wasn't offended or hurt by your posts.  While I may have disagreed with some parts of the first post, I meant to say so calmly. And some parts, I did agree with.

I was just venting about something that was bothering me.  I wasn't really asking for help cause I don't know if there even is anything that could help.  I don't feel like I was being bratty, just frustrated with the cards I was dealt, but I could see how some might feel that way even though I disagree.

There is really nothing to fight about.  Actually I thought there was nothing wrong with this post, and I thought about the part I highlighted for a while afterwards:

You are tired----tired of losing when it involves the opposite sex and you dare use the excuse " for not being born the right kind of person-"---people need to figure all of this out for themselves there is no amount of education and successes in life that will help you with any of your problems. Life always has some kind of consequences when one makes their decisions but is it really decision making or is it following the path  that our life leads us to then we look at the consequences and blame life.
There are different categories of people the have not's and the have's ----as long as you think you are a have not then you will follow a path of sadness where you can offer no one any happiness at all--who would want to get in a relationship with that type of person? You have just given up and given up too easily. Why I could tell you stories that would make your life seem good. Your life is good and you need to do just like everyone else take day by day.. Heck when I came to this forum I just lost three friends that I had to give up on because "they did not care one iota about me" --it was a hard lesson but now I am feeling better about the whole situation. I handled it through trial and error to learn how to be happy within myself---its hard for I was in the very same attitude that you are in right now but "somehow" I am climbing out little by little-day by day...I get up in the morning and think--Oh another day-ugh--but then I trudge on and before that day is ended there is always something to be thankful for no matter how small it is--its something....Carry on dear forum friend and you have so much and you are so smart and for now you are just down down down...Get up put music on and do a dance in the kitchen to the assorted Gods in your life and love yourself more..That's the lesson for this day--Love yourself more....Priscella

I thought it was fairly accurate.  I've thought of myself as a have-not all my life, but it's because I've been treated like one especially socially, and because I never seemed to get things right, never seemed to naturally "get" things or have any strengths. Still, I know it's a negative feedback loop - act like it, get treated like it, then act like it again, get treated like it again, and so on.

I have thought I was a have-not, I have followed a path of sadness and apathy as a result, and I know I don't have that much happiness to offer anyone as long as I'm in this state. And I certainly don't have any success stories or adventures or thoughts/ideas/visions to wow anyone with. As frustrated with it as I am, I can see how there aren't too many girls - especially the one that I was posting about - that would want to get into a relationship with me, when all I really have to offer is enthusiasm for common interests and curiosity, but also all my negative traits.

Is this my fault? I don't know. I guess that depends on whether it's possible for me to be impressive or interesting some way, or if I can't. I can't see where I could be, and I feel like I've just been dealt too low a hand to win, let alone compete against the tough guys that look like they don't have to try at all. But saying that just makes me look bad, even if it's true. I don't know if this is happening because I haven't worked hard enough in life, or because I wasn't dealt a good enough hand to get anywhere, and it doesn't matter if I worked hard or not, I was just never going to make the cut.

I probably haven't tried hard enough, but it's hard for me to love myself when I feel like whatever you're trying to do probably won't work, because nothing ever has in the past, and there's no indication that it will in the future.

I guess all I can do is fully give up on the idea of dating until I can become more impressive/interesting/competitive. It seems that until/unless I can do that, I'm just going to lose every time. And if I can't do it, I guess I have to just give up completely, especially on anyone that I'm going to have to compete for. I just wish I knew what I was missing, what I had to work on in order to have a fighting chance, and then could feel like it was actually possible for me to do it.

And if your friends really said they don't care one iota about you, that is cruel. Sorry to hear that.

 

[priscella]

I"ll tell you one thing it will work because you are a wonderful person and have just been beaten down in life like so many of us and that's why we joined this forum to try to get some friendship because we know how lonely we actually are and believe me I am living it just as much as you are and someday you might hear some of my rants....Lordy, Lordy....I love you as a person and I respect you for I know the inner of you even through I will never meet you I know your insides and they are  nothing but good. You are going to do just fine in life because life has something very very special to share with you--just be patient....Priscella

 

[TheRealCallie]

So many phone calls to make. I should also get ready for the day soon, another early start and next week will be earlier since school starts.

 

[Finished]

So many phone calls to make.  I should also get ready for the day soon, another early start and next week will be earlier since school starts.

Woohoo! Time to change the subject! It's a new day. But, I'm glad to see people posting. It's kind of boring when the forum is quite.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It would be one thing if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and even if it was very far away, I could just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I got there, knowing that even if it takes a long time, at least I know every step is getting me closer, at least I'm on my way.

But there isn't any light, any path, any proof, anything to give me hope or faith, any indication of anything at all. That's what really gets me.

 

[priscella]

The Skafish----I think that when a person reaches a certain age that there are no more goals or dreams in life especially if they lose some of their health and they have not many friends to kind of pass the time with communication about the different aspects of their lives happening right now...I like to talk politics not here because you could not write how you see it without a argument and I do not wish to enter into arguments of any kind especially about politics. It's like when your down and you feel hopeless that you need to change the situation--move furniture around--cook a meal and eat or just watch TV and wait for another day. There is no light for me either forum friend and I am just beginning to live with it at least trying to but I do know one thing the future has aspects coming into my life that will make my day so to speak a little brighter--I hope--but who knows and we just have to take our chances and do the best that we can..

 

[Jaxon]

I'm thinking I'm so lonely I might smile at my new neighbor - but I'm 70yo and I have no teeth - hmm ... bad idea. How to make friends when my chief beauty aid is a face mask?

 

[TheRealCallie]

It would be one thing if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and even if it was very far away, I could just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I got there, knowing that even if it takes a long time, at least I know every step is getting me closer, at least I'm on my way.  

But there isn't any light, any path, any proof, anything to give me hope or faith, any indication of anything at all.  That's what really gets me.

Maybe you just need to make your own path.  Stop worrying so **** much about what everyone else gets or doesn't get and focus on what you want and how to accomplish it.  You may not think the same way you did when you first came here, but you are still making yourself a victim and blaming others.  Figure out a way to stop doing that and you'll find that you might just start seeing that flicker of light you are so desperate for.

---

Oh and in my own thoughts. Holy fresia, I wish someone would just tell me what to do about sending my kid to school or not. I still feel like either choice is going to be the wrong one.

 

[Finished]

It would be one thing if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and even if it was very far away, I could just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I got there, knowing that even if it takes a long time, at least I know every step is getting me closer, at least I'm on my way.  

But there isn't any light, any path, any proof, anything to give me hope or faith, any indication of anything at all.  That's what really gets me.

Maybe you just need to make your own path.  Stop worrying so **** much about what everyone else gets or doesn't get and focus on what you want and how to accomplish it.  You may not think the same way you did when you first came here, but you are still making yourself a victim and blaming others.  Figure out a way to stop doing that and you'll find that you might just start seeing that flicker of light you are so desperate for.

I agree with both of you. SkaFish you got dealt a Fd up hand. But, you aren't the only one. I got dealt a Fd up hand too. However, my hand is still way better then many others. There are plenty that are worse off then any of us here. I feel sorry for my self sometimes and complain often. I'm pissed off at the universe and all the lying, cheating, thieving, killing, sneaky, cheating, no good aholes among us on this planet and that's just the politicians. 

However, that's not all I want out of my time on this planet. IMO, this life we have is all that there is. So, I'm taking the cards I have and finding matches when I can instead of focusing on the missed full houses and royal flushes. I do not want to look back when I die and think all I did with my life is complain and be unhappy. Instead I'll think about the things I got to do in spite of all the unfair BS.

---

I think that when a person reaches a certain age that there are no more goals or dreams in life especially if they lose some of their health and they have not many friends to kind of pass the time with communication about the different aspects of their lives happening right now

I agree. I think it's at age 40. Ha! Ha!

I like to talk politics not here because you could not write how you see it without a argument and I do not wish to enter into arguments of any kind especially about politics.

No arguments? Where's the fun in that? Ha! ha!

There is no light for me either forum friend

Well, going to sleep is great. I get to calmly slip into death. Then the light of the new day is a fresh start every morning. When you first wake up and still hazy things are almost perfect and mostly pain free.  It's just the rest of the time that sucks. Ha! Ha!

 

[TheSkaFish]

nevermind gotta get back to work.

 

[Serenia]

That conversation went so much better than I could have hoped.

 

[Just Games]

I got a full time job Callie wohoo