What are you thinking right now?

[Paraiyar]

Insanity for sure...

 

[ladyforsaken]

Is my brother going to blame me for this?

 

[Bluey]

Is my brother going to blame me for this?

Dont know but if you where my sister you would.

 

[Cavey]

Should there really be a Starbucks concession selling sugary, fat-filled beverages and confections right next to the cardiology department?

 

[user 115627]

Should there really be a Starbucks concession selling sugary, fat-filled beverages and confections right next to the cardiology department?

...is this the 'free market' I heard so much about?

 

[TheSkaFish]

Reading dating advice again. Probably a bad idea, but I'm determined to get to the bottom of this. One thing I have to say is how annoyed I am when people label a guy as a creep and an idiot for being friends with a girl before dating her. Half of the word "girlfriend" is "friend". For me, I need to know if I can even talk to the person before I know if I can date them. If I even like spending time with them at all. I also feel like it builds familiarity and comfort levels with each other. If I don't know if I can even have a conversation with someone, how can I know I want to date them? And how could I have much of a conversation with someone if I don't have any context? I don't like randomly chatting up strangers very much, who for all I know have nothing in common with me or nothing to say that I want to talk about. It takes me a while to feel comfortable talking to someone. That's all.

 

[kamya]

Reading dating advice again. Probably a bad idea, but I'm determined to get to the bottom of this. One thing I have to say is how annoyed I am when people label a guy as a creep and an idiot for being friends with a girl before dating her. Half of the word "girlfriend" is "friend". For me, I need to know if I can even talk to the person before I know if I can date them. If I even like spending time with them at all. I also feel like it builds familiarity and comfort levels with each other. If I don't know if I can even have a conversation with someone, how can I know I want to date them? And how could I have much of a conversation with someone if I don't have any context? I don't like randomly chatting up strangers very much, who for all I know have nothing in common with me or nothing to say that I want to talk about. It takes me a while to feel comfortable talking to someone. That's all.

I usually feel the same way as you but it never really works out that way in reality. It would be nice if the world worked the way we want it to, or the way we feel it should work. It doesn't though.

 

[Paraiyar]

For me, I need to know if I can even talk to the person before I know if I can date them. If I even like spending time with them at all. I also feel like it builds familiarity and comfort levels with each other. If I don't know if I can even have a conversation with someone, how can I know I want to date them?

Are you sure you aren't overthinking this and creating unnecessary restrictions that may hinder your chances? Plenty of people casually date people they don't really know with no commitment attached unless they want it that way later on.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I usually feel the same way as you but it never really works out that way in reality. It would be nice if the world worked the way we want it to, or the way we feel it should work. It doesn't though.

I've heard about lots of relationships where people were friends first, though. In fact, I've even seen some people say it's the best way to get to know someone and that it's easier to date from within your circle of friends. I see how it can be more difficult in some ways because a person might think they know all there is to know about someone and think it's not enough. I think people let down their guard among friends and that could be a problem. But it might also be easier, because you at least know there is something you like about each other and you can carry a real conversation, and maybe if they can present themselves in a new light, it can lead to more. I don't see how it absolutely can't work.

Are you sure you aren't overthinking this and creating unnecessary restrictions that may hinder your chances? Plenty of people casually date people they don't really know with no commitment attached unless they want it that way later on.

I don't think so. For me, having common interests and/or curiosity about the person are as important as good looks. Common interests help, but curiosity is a must. I've only found one girl that I liked with a lot of common interests with me, but I have liked others that have only some common interests. However, they still make me curious about them. If I'm not curious about the person, looks alone aren't enough for me to have any interest beyond casual sex, and I've never been into that. I'm not even that morally opposed to it anymore, it's just not what I want. It's a lot of work and in the end, you don't have a connection which is what I'm really after- someone I feel is special to share things with.

I think that's a problem I have, that I have tried to increase my awareness of. I'm so eager to have a meaningful connection that I rush things instead of letting things go at their own pace.

 

[Paraiyar]

Are you sure you aren't overthinking this and creating unnecessary restrictions that may hinder your chances? Plenty of people casually date people they don't really know with no commitment attached unless they want it that way later on.

I don't think so. For me, having common interests and/or curiosity about the person are as important as good looks. Common interests help, but curiosity is a must. I've only found one girl that I liked with a lot of common interests with me, but I have liked others that have only some common interests. However, they still make me curious about them. If I'm not curious about the person, looks alone aren't enough for me to have any interest beyond casual sex, and I've never been into that. I'm not even that morally opposed to it anymore, it's just not what I want. It's a lot of work and in the end, you don't have a connection which is what I'm really after- someone I feel is special to share things with.

I think that's a problem I have, that I have tried to increase my awareness of. I'm so eager to have a meaningful connection that I rush things instead of letting things go at their own pace.

But what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with looks or physical attraction, the point I'm making is that you could just as easily ascertain what you have in common from going on casual dates as you could whilst developing a regular friendship anyway. But with casual dates, there is less chance of there being a misunderstanding where the girl ends up viewing you simply as friend who she has a lot of interests in common with since she kind of knows there is a potential romantic interest from the beginning.

My co-worker met her current boyfriend by just going on casual dates with people and seeing what came of it. Eventually she isolated him and cut the other guys out. Now I can see that she's got a real connection that is starting to grow with him.

I just think you're making things a lot harder for yourself this way.

 

[TheSkaFish]

But what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with looks or physical attraction, the point I'm making is that you could just as easily ascertain what you have in common from going on casual dates as you could whilst developing a regular friendship anyway. But with casual dates, there is less chance of there being a misunderstanding where the girl ends up viewing you simply as friend who she has a lot of interests in common with since she kind of knows there is a potential romantic interest from the beginning.

My co-worker met her current boyfriend by just going on casual dates with people and seeing what came of it. Eventually she isolated him and cut the other guys out. Now I can see that she's got a real connection that is starting to grow with him.

I just think you're making things a lot harder for yourself this way.

Something would have to get my attention about them though, for me to even want to date them casually. If I don't know anything about the girl, then all I have to go on is looks, and it's probably not going to be enough to generate any interest for me, especially if they seem like someone who probably isn't into anything I like, which is usually the case.

Also, what about long-distance? I know it's not something most people want but it is possible to have them, and you can't really do much in a long-distance relationship except talk, and you still might not know just from that if you want to date the person or not. As a matter of fact, I've seen a long-distance relationship happen between two people who used to hang out on the old forum I was a part of. They knew of each other, and interacted, for years before actually dating. It's got to be possible.

I probably am making things harder for myself, but if you want something more than what everything else gets, more than average, you are making things harder for yourself by definition.

 

[Paraiyar]

But what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with looks or physical attraction, the point I'm making is that you could just as easily ascertain what you have in common from going on casual dates as you could whilst developing a regular friendship anyway. But with casual dates, there is less chance of there being a misunderstanding where the girl ends up viewing you simply as friend who she has a lot of interests in common with since she kind of knows there is a potential romantic interest from the beginning.

My co-worker met her current boyfriend by just going on casual dates with people and seeing what came of it. Eventually she isolated him and cut the other guys out. Now I can see that she's got a real connection that is starting to grow with him.

I just think you're making things a lot harder for yourself this way.

Something would have to get my attention about them though, for me to even want to date them casually. If I don't know anything about the girl, then all I have to go on is looks, and it's probably not going to be enough to generate any interest for me, especially if they seem like someone who probably isn't into anything I like, which is usually the case.

If you tried casual dating and didn't find anyone it'd be nothing lost but if you didn't do it you could be missing out. Why not just try it?

 

[VanillaCreme]

One thing I have to say is how annoyed I am when people label a guy as a creep and an idiot for being friends with a girl before dating her. Half of the word "girlfriend" is "friend".

Just curious, who ever says that? If anything, I hear that more. That it's better to be friends first.

If you tried casual dating and didn't find anyone it'd be nothing lost but if you didn't do it you could be missing out. Why not just try it?

Can't say I'm a fan of the casual dating. Or dating in general. I wouldn't blame anyone if they didn't want to do it. I know I wouldn't.

 

[Serenia]

How can he just not bother. Why do I bother wasting my time thinking of this. At least he has me willing to enjoy his days.

 

[mauthecat]

COME ON PEOPLE LET ME KNOW, SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO!

 

[Paraiyar]

Christ, what is wrong with me.

 

[trueth]

It seems I can only do the right things for a temporary period of time

 

[EveWasFramed]

It seems I can only do the right things for a temporary period of time

I can relate to that...

 

[trueth]

It seems I can only do the right things for a temporary period of time

I can relate to that...

I seem to be reminded of this a lot lately too. It's frustrating

 

[melofsalem]

I hate that song