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Yesterday I read a post on Reddit from a 13 year old wanting to suicide. I remember I had moments at that age that I wanted to (and even tried with tablets but just woke up feeling sick and nobody found out). Still it shocked and saddened me to think of someone so young already wanting life to stop. I've lived a lot of life in the 36 years since then (I'm 49) and even though there's been some horrible stuff it's been a series of experiences that wouldn't have happened if I'd managed to kill myself back then.
Do I really believe in an after life? Is this all a learning experience here in the material world? Do I really want to die?
 
"In the vastness that is The Experience Of Being, romantic love is but a single grain of sand in the entirety of the Sahara. We miss the beauty of our lives and of life itself, looking for a mirage of beauty in the desert."
 
After years of trying to identify whether I was just annoying, unlikeable, or had terrible EQ and social skills etc. About the only thing I know from all that introspection is that I chose to be around the wrong people and cared too much about what others thought.
 
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