What do you do to keep on keepin' on?

[WishingWell]

A lot of you know some things about me. If you don’t, I am a 56 year old female, divorced (and then my ex-husband passed away) and still believe I love him. I never had kids. I live alone in an apartment, since my Mom passed away a little over two years ago, in a relative’s home. It’s rough because I have no kitchen sink or stove. My Family considers me “extended family” since if I had a husband and kids, THAT would be my Family. Therefore, I am not included in much of anything they do. My door to the apartment always bears one of these signs: “We may be busy, KNOCK, and if we don't answer, try later.” OR “Come in, we are out or not busy.”

I have no friends in the entire town. The block is a dead end and there is no one that I have approached that even seems to want to talk.

I don’t drive, and am on disability for 27 years, so I couldn’t afford a car anyway. There is nothing in walking distance and no buses. This little suburban town doesn’t even have a Taxi service! The town next to it does, but told me it would cost $40 each way for them to take me anywhere in this town and $40 back. Being on disability income, that’s a bit steep, wouldn’t you say?

I do okay, and then I don’t. I pray, I cry, I call long-distance Friends, and I do crafts.

Sometimes, though I think I may go out of my mind.

What do you do to get you out of that “feeling sorry for myself” and “I can’t take it anymore” mode?

I’d appreciate your suggestions. Thank you so much to anyone who is kind enough to reply!

 

[painter's radio]

I really can't recommend photography enough. OK so it helps if you live in a very picturesque area, but there is beauty to be found in the dullest of Hell-holes. Take pictures inside or out, write about them; no company needed.

What crafts do you do? Myself, I work with wood. It's always nice to create something.

I hope you are not too sad and have better days soon.

 

[Surcruxum]

Think about positive things, keep praying and believing that everything will turn out ok. Try to open up a little to others, tell them how you feel. Some will eventually understand your situation and maybe they will help you. Maybe you can also ask people to know if they have the same interests as you are. It's easier to make friends that way.

my way of coping with it is entirely different, but I don't recommend it for you.

It's not much but I hope things get better for you

 

[WishingWell]

I really can't recommend photography enough. OK so it helps if you live in a very picturesque area, but there is beauty to be found in the dullest of Hell-holes. Take pictures inside or out, write about them; no company needed.

What crafts do you do? Myself, I work with wood. It's always nice to create something.

I hope you are not too sad and have better days soon.

Thank you. I used to take a lot of pictures. Across the street is trees and behind that a fence and the Parkway. However, my Sister's landscaping and my Niece's little puppy would be great to photograph! Good idea!

---

Think about positive things, keep praying and believing that everything will turn out ok. Try to open up a little to others, tell them how you feel. Some will eventually understand your situation and maybe they will help you. Maybe you can also ask people to know if they have the same interests as you are. It's easier to make friends that way.

my way of coping with it is entirely different, but I don't recommend it for you.

It's not much but I hope things get better for you

Thanks...I'm trying! I'd love to know your way of coping--it may be what I used to do, but I won't make that assumption!

 

[GraceBlossom]

Hi .

Is it possible at all for you to move to the other town? It may give you new opportunities to meet people. I don't know where you live, but here in the UK people with disabilities get lot's of help finding suitable accomodation.

Also have you thought of starting a craft group in a community centre or someplace similar. You could have it during the day and it may attract people in similar circumstances. If you ran it, you can choose the pace of things .

You always have the friendly people here .

 

[WishingWell]

Hi .

Is it possible at all for you to move to the other town? It may give you new opportunities to meet people. I don't know where you live, but here in the UK people with disabilities get lot's of help finding suitable accomodation.

Also have you thought of starting a craft group in a community centre or someplace similar. You could have it during the day and it may attract people in similar circumstances. If you ran it, you can choose the pace of things .

You always have the friendly people here .

I can't afford to move. When my husband left, my Sister took me in because I wouldn't have a home. As far as help for people with help for disabilities goes, there is a list that is about 5 years long in the place I live in the United States.

I couldn't start a craft group because I would need the money to get it going and the community center doesn't allow it. Anyway, I wouldn't be able to get there without a car. The only place I get rides to is the doctors I see.

You are right, there are very friendly people here! I just need the interaction with other people in person.

Thank you so much for all your suggestions though. They sound well thought out and I appreciate you responding to me!

 

[beautiful loser]

Hi Wishingwell. If you do crafts and can afford to make some to sell, have you ever heard of Etsy? It used to be like an ebay type site for selling only crafts that people constructed. Now, you can sell vintage stuff on it as well, but if you can make something unique maybe you can make an extra income?? Could keep your mind busy and not dwell on the things that bother us.

Also, you might want to post an ad on Craigslist in the community section. Who knows, maybe there is someone right around the corner looking for a friend, who does crafts Don't laugh, I used the same section to meet someone to go fishing with me. Never know till you try.

 

[LadyDaria]

Any interest in Blogging? You can make money off it too if people view it.

 

[WishingWell]

I don't know if I make anything good enough to sell on line, but looking for someone to do crafts with sounds like a great idea! Thank you for the idea.

Hi Wishingwell. If you do crafts and can afford to make some to sell, have you ever heard of Etsy? It used to be like an ebay type site for selling only crafts that people constructed. Now, you can sell vintage stuff on it as well, but if you can make something unique maybe you can make an extra income?? Could keep your mind busy and not dwell on the things that bother us.

Also, you might want to post an ad on Craigslist in the community section. Who knows, maybe there is someone right around the corner looking for a friend, who does crafts Don't laugh, I used the same section to meet someone to go fishing with me. Never know till you try.

---

I don't know if I'd be good at that, but good idea.

Any interest in Blogging? You can make money off it too if people view it.

 

[AnotherLonelyGuy]

...
I’d appreciate your suggestions. Thank you so much to anyone who is kind enough to reply!

Spend my time on forums. Dunno if this helps you, hope it does

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I can relate to how you're feeling: I'm on disability myself and I find it hard to work as of right now cause there's too much going on in my life right now. Don't have any friends in my area either and most of the time I spend my time alone trying to keep myself busy during the day. Only time I ever talk to people is through Forums which I belong too and message people back. Right now I'm trying to build back my self esteem after being in an abusive relationship for three years. Trust me, don't feel ashamed: everyone has bad days and days where they just feel like giving up or not wanting to go on. Were human after all and whenever were going through hard times we feel lost and have no idea on what to do next. Never been married before so I can't relate to you there: but try to start out small and work you're way. Try to look for meetings in you're area that have the same interests as you. Believe I heard something about Meet-Up before. Recently heard of this and plan on giving it a shot. So far I've seen one group that I considering joining- it's a meditation group and I think I might end up meeting other people there hopefully.

And if you ever need someone to talk too: send me a pm! =)

 

[Boreal]

I really can't recommend photography enough. OK so it helps if you live in a very picturesque area, but there is beauty to be found in the dullest of Hell-holes. Take pictures inside or out, write about them; no company needed.

What crafts do you do? Myself, I work with wood. It's always nice to create something.

I hope you are not too sad and have better days soon.

I would also suggest the route of exploring other artistic hobbies. Even online, there are a variety of communities that may swap feedback, collaborate on projects, and make friends. While a $40 trip is expensive it may be worth it for something like a twice-yearly meetup with people you've gotten to know.

Everyone from Doctor Who fans to writers have meetups these days!

 

[mónos]

I really can't recommend photography enough. OK so it helps if you live in a very picturesque area, but there is beauty to be found in the dullest of Hell-holes. Take pictures inside or out, write about them; no company needed.

What crafts do you do? Myself, I work with wood. It's always nice to create something.

I hope you are not too sad and have better days soon.

Photography is great! I recently purchased a remote shutter release so I can indulge in some night photography. It helps pass the time and there is satisfaction in great shots.

---

I've spent most of my past escaping the realities of my sucky life by immersing myself in fiction: books, movies, and music. I still indulge but now I am also trying to learn another language (Greek) and am building some personal fitness equipment. I will never become fluent in Greek or any other new language, but just trying to grasp the basics is fun. All I can say is that I am trying to cope by doing things by myself that can bring some satisfaction and maybe build some self confidence. I've done little things like these throughout the years and they help.

Being on this forum is a good thing, too.

 

[LadyDaria]

I enjoy "rug hooking" (making rugs). I used to use premade kits but I discovered that you can make your own patterns and order yarn for it. You can use the rugs for rugs or... wall decorations or sell it (ebay / flea market)

 

[workaloneuk]

I read, or listen to audio books while making or repairing something. I never buy anything new if I can fix an old one

I'm sorry that your life is not very happy, it puts my problems into perspective to hear that other people are maybe in a worse situation than me. I hope you can find ways to improve your's ...

 

[WishingWell]

...
I’d appreciate your suggestions. Thank you so much to anyone who is kind enough to reply!

Spend my time on forums. Dunno if this helps you, hope it does

Yes, it helps. I have to get more active on this one. I don't live TV or movies and doing crafts gets tiresome. There is only so much I can do around this apartment so, good answer!

---

Thanks for responding. I can see how your situation is like mine. Also, years ago I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years. I have PTSD and still have dreams. Thanks for reminding me that everyone has bad and good days!

I can relate to how you're feeling: I'm on disability myself and I find it hard to work as of right now cause there's too much going on in my life right now. Don't have any friends in my area either and most of the time I spend my time alone trying to keep myself busy during the day. Only time I ever talk to people is through Forums which I belong too and message people back. Right now I'm trying to build back my self esteem after being in an abusive relationship for three years. Trust me, don't feel ashamed: everyone has bad days and days where they just feel like giving up or not wanting to go on. Were human after all and whenever were going through hard times we feel lost and have no idea on what to do next. Never been married before so I can't relate to you there: but try to start out small and work you're way. Try to look for meetings in you're area that have the same interests as you. Believe I heard something about Meet-Up before. Recently heard of this and plan on giving it a shot. So far I've seen one group that I considering joining- it's a meditation group and I think I might end up meeting other people there hopefully.

And if you ever need someone to talk too: send me a pm! =)