What do you think of Chivalry or guys that are Chivalrous?

[Enchanted Girl]

Chivalry isn't offensive. It's about manners and how two people should treat each other in a relationship. The women can do it too if she wants! Opening doors for people, setting out their chair, paying for their stuff . . . . I don't know why anyone would complain about that.

It's like i said before though...Women these days don't care about those things anymore. It's not like back in the old days before i was born women cared about those things. This is 2011...most women want jerks. If you're not like that then thats good...I wish i could find someone like you. Otherwise...pfft...i'm sorta losing a bit of hope for society.

You need to stop looking at what you think most women do and start trying to change who you go for. I hear men complain about this all the time and the majority of them only have this problem because they only go for women who have no interest in them. And the ones who do like them, they get bored with quickly (because there's no chase.) There's girls around you who would date you, but you have to actually open your eyes and force yourself to see them because they will not be as flirty, outgoing, or visible as the girls who go after jerks in most situations.

It's like what any guy would say to any girl who says that she only dates jerks and that all guys are jerks: All guys aren't jerks, you're just going after the wrong people.

 

[nerdygirl]

Y'know, I once saw a dating profile a guy had written online and in it he was complaining how girls only liked ********.

Guess what I did? 1) I sat there in shock that he had the gall to think that would attract me to him. 2) I didn't respond to his dating profile.

I do that every time I read that kind of thing in dating profiles, and oddly... I see it a lot. I think a lot of men don't know the difference between dating profiles and blogs.

 

[NOAH_FX]

Theirs a difference between being Polite, and being Chivaliorus. My Mother taught me to be poilte, please , thanks, open the door for people etc.

When I think of Chivalry, maybe Im wrong, I think of it more as a guy getting out of the car to open your door etc.. I don't see this as a female is to weak to open the car door, more as a guy going showing he's willing to go out of his way to be off assistance.. Allowing her to see he's actually willing to make an effort to be nice..

Sometimes, believe it or not, we guys don't have motives. I'll hold the door for just about anyone.. On the other hand, most people I work with would open it for me if they saw i was coming.. It's just mutual Respect.

 

[Ctzn_Soldier]

I'm not sure how to take it myself. I mean, it seems polite for a guy to hold the door for me, or help me with my bags, but does chivalry imply that women are weaker?

I have always taken care of the ladies I was with, it's the right thing to do, I was raised that way. We were taught very early to be polite and catch the door for a woman - any woman. I treat women as equal to myself, and I consider them strong as any man but hey, that's just me. There is not enough courtesy and manners left in this world. My 2 cents.

 

[Limlim]

One trap to avoid falling into though is the "I was raised this way" excuse for everything. As an adult it is possible to change the way you act (I know, I've done it for the better). Additionally sometimes you need to consider that perhaps the way you were raised was not optimal.

That isn't to say the way you were raised is incorrect in this particular instance, this is more just a tangent I'm going down. I see a lot of people use this as an excuse for their actions, and I've never considered it acceptable.

 

[Kenny]

One trap to avoid falling into though is the "I was raised this way" excuse for everything. As an adult it is possible to change the way you act (I know, I've done it for the better). Additionally sometimes you need to consider that perhaps the way you were raised was not optimal.

That isn't to say the way you were raised is incorrect in this particular instance, this is more just a tangent I'm going down. I see a lot of people use this as an excuse for their actions, and I've never considered it acceptable.

Agreed. My father was physically abusive and my mother was emotionally abusive. Never of them showed me any love or guidance which is why I was a drug addict by age 16. I've never laid a hand on my kids and I tell them I love them every morning when I wake them up for school, every day after school, and at least a dozen times between then and bedtime! I have to CONSCIOUSLY attempt to be different (and better) than what I grew up with. So people who say "Well, I was raised this way!" irritate the fresia out of me.

 

[Elgin]

I always say thanks when anybody holds a door or helps me. I always give others a hand if I can too. I don't see it as chivalry so much as just being polite.

 

[tangerinedream]

So people who say "Well, I was raised this way!" irritate the fresia out of me.

Agreed. People who tell me that they are "weird *******" or "broke *******" or whatever because of their childhood and then pay no regard to the free will we've been endowed with REALLY irritate the fresia out of me. ou can only blame your past so far. A some point you have to take some responsibility for your actions.

At some point you're a psychotic ******* lunatic not because life made you that way but because you CHOSE to continue to act that way.

 

[SophiaGrace]

So people who say "Well, I was raised this way!" irritate the fresia out of me.

Agreed. People who tell me that they are "weird *******" or "broke *******" or whatever because of their childhood and then pay no regard to the free will we've been endowed with REALLY irritate the fresia out of me. ou can only blame your past so far. A some point you have to take some responsibility for your actions.

At some point you're a psychotic ******* lunatic not because life made you that way but because you CHOSE to continue to act that way.

I think a person's capacity to change depends on their level of self awareness, meaning the level they are consious of how they affect certain outcomes in their life. An example of a lack of self awareness would be a person that blamed their boss for their poor sense of work ethic.