what does loneliness feel like?

[sinko]

the posts are good, gives a sense of solidarity. what i am surprised is that none address what lonelinessfeels like.

to me, it's:
like you just threw up, and are hungry but don't want to eat any more, fearful of throwing up again.

or

desperation, like running.

thoughts?
sinko

 

[Guest]

the posts are good, gives a sense of solidarity. what i am surprised is that none address what lonelinessfeels like.

to me, it's:
like you just threw up, and are hungry but don't want to eat any more, fearful of throwing up again.

or

desperation, like running.

thoughts?
sinko

When I get a good joly of it if feels like theres a hole in my stomach. Like a large steel pike with a 2 foot diameter just went right through my chest. It actually hurts to, it physically hurts. Like a sharp twinge of pain youll get from stepping on something, you dont know what did it but you sure as hell know it was there.

 

[KevP83]

when i feel lonely i feel this overwhelming hole of despair, like im going to sick,

 

[BirchBark]

Inescapability

It's not that I'm lonely for the moment, it's the fear that I'm going to be lonely for a long time and there's nothing I can do.

It's the sort of irrational fear that consumes everything around it. Fills you up with emptiness.

 

[sinko]

fills you up with emptiness, makes no sense but really describes it. i tend to stare at things for a while when i am being depressingly reflective. i look at the tiny things in life, imagine what life would be like in that microcosm of whatever stupid thing i am staring at. tonight, it was my soup. potato soup. i watched the starch particles cycle in and out of the bottom of the pot, watched some cling to the sides in a desperate but futile attempt to free themselves from the heat. i watched the identifiable particles of food, the onions, the carrots. i remembered back to cutting them, imagining which ones were which and trying to see the resemblance of individual cuts i had made. i watched the steam pour off of the pot, examining the bubbles as they popped and looked to the bottom of the pan in their vacuum. i almost felt guilty for eating it afterwards.
i guess by looking at things at that level in that detail makes me feel small, invisible, and able to hide in spaces myself. for some reason, isolation relieves the loneliness. when i am with others, i have no excuse for being lonely.
sinko

 

[Guest]

Crap. Kind of like a Hunger, but for people. Most accurate way I've ever heard it is "an empty husk of a person, like locust skin it got rid of, except still hungry."

 

[OneMore]

You can see the light but you remain immersed in darkness.

Life has little joy. Whatever pleasures you use to have they no longer bring joy.

Loneliness is absence of something. And unlike hunger it is not easy to fill.

"For some reason, isolation relieves the loneliness. when i am with others, i have no excuse for being lonely." -- sinko
That has hit home. Isolation does elevate the problem, but it is only a temporary solution. When you are with others and you still feel alone it makes it a thousand times worse. I think it might be because you see a reflection of part of what you are or what you might become and inside you might desire it or worse you might hate it. Also I think the surrounding becomes more truthful to what you feel inside. Maybe in the darkness (isolation) you can’t see the stains you carry.

OneMore

 

[Guest]

For me loneliness feels heavy. Like there's a weight pressing down on my chest that I can't escape and that gets heavier with every moment, and it is slowly suffocating me. It hurts physically, and makes me withdraw even more. Who knew that something so untangible could hurt so **** much?

 

[Guest]

it's like now, a few hours to the new year, and surf the net trying to discover why you're alone. where's everybody? why did i hide so well?

 

[Guest]

I felt the loneliness and despair . .everything seemed so black, I couldn't do anything . . I wanted it all to end but I couldn't see an end and I wanted to be gone, really gone.  I don't know when I started to feel better but it took me a long time. Now I get scared that I might feel it again.

 

[keeper]

Loneliness to me feels like being in a desert or in a prison: I wish to communicate but there's nobody around. I feel invisible: nobody can see me, nobody can hear me.

 

[Guest]

It's a physical feeling.  A heaviness.  Movement requires more effort than it should.

 

[glaze]

im lonely. even breathing seems difficult. i want to get away but i cant move an inch. my feet are cold. i dont feel like doing anything. wish i could disappear.

 

[veap]

a feeling you when you are not feeling like feeling much.

 

[Guest]

- being behind a glass, looking at the world through the thick glass,
- see other peoples dancing but no music heard
- invisible
- not needed, not included, not valuable, not invited, not wanted
- having nothing to add to the converstion of other people
- being a fith wheel
- observing things i ever wanted taken by others
- observing people laughing
- being uncomfortable when people talk about happiness and joy - what is it?
- not belonging
- unable to work together with others

 

[Guest]

- feeling that people think your not normal or you are arrogant
- be ashame to say "I'm alone" to another personne
- sadness
- incapability to do something, like study, watch a movie you like, listen that music you once loved and used to fill your emptiness
- be blocked without knowing  what to say when with a lot of people together
- avoiding classes because you hate the people around (I think i hate myself anyway)
- not trusting in anyone - I don't trust in my mother, and not much in the rest of the familly
- having casual (sometimes dangerous) sex with a lot men when it can happend, to fullfill the emptiness - happened and can happen when I rarely go out (few times in the last year)
- being cute and smart (that's what other people say), knowing and having a lot of things but not knowing what to do with them
- afraid to make the first step (call someone you know bad but enough to have a decent conversation), because there is always the thought "i am boring, people don't want to be with me" - They always denied me the few times I tried.
- sleep a lot
- eat
- suicidal thoughts
and more...

Isolation is kind of a choice I made anyway and loneliness came along with it, no one will save me, not even the pills or anything else, i don't want. the time passed and there are no regrets or remorses of anything I did, I'm almost 20 and as we say in my country "há terceira é de vez" - at the third is for granted.

 

[Guest]

When I feel really lonely the emptiness physically hurts (in the head). When this happens it's very hard to get sleep in this condition, I stay awake very late in the night and watch TV or do something else just to fill that emptiness a little, even though my body needs rest.

 

[Guest]

In essence, I think it's the feeling of mind degeneration. Neurons are dying from lack of stimulation and that hurts (feeling emptiness). How sad

 

[adelia]

My god Guest! You are my reflection. I feel overwhelmed with the realization that there are people out there who think and feel exactly like me. Thank you so much for sharing your precious thoughts.

 

[Guest]

Adelia, there are many guests (unregistered users). Which one do you mean? Please quote the post number