what huamanity means to me

[nope_real]

Today when I was walking about from work I started thinking about what humanity means to me. I am like anyone else in the quality of life, standard of living scale in the west, my view on humanity and its price comes at no real cost. I started to question if my sense of ethics and humanity are not ethical or humane at all, and maybe they are just a stimulant to my ego. An ego seperated from self esteem or self worth. My entire life I have blamed all the bad things that have happened to me on something external or any one who has harmed me i've said "its them, least im better". When infact any wrong doing i've recieved most probably was my fault. No, not most probably, it was. I think about things like humanity and ethics in a way that isn't relative to the subjects themselves. I might like to think I know exactly what kindof person I am but in truth I don't. I've always believed "an eye for an eye makes the world blind" but in practise I think my actions would say "a tooth for a tooth". The fact is, I can't understand humanity or ethics on a real level until I have been given the chance to; give back or take away someone elses humanity.

Everyday I turn a blind eye to inhumanity and confirm my own. I make a coffee, I waste food, I play with my health and sleep soundly. It takes a village to raise a child, my part of that rasing has been neglect, mental abuse and any blood spilled of self or others from that child rests in my own hands. I am accountable for all actions in this world, all wars, all inequality, all starvation, all lies; thats humanity to me -- my complete denial of the blood on my hands.

 

[Unacceptance]

All you can do is minimize the exploitation, you can't get anything without using someone else in one way or another. That's the transaction of existence.

 

[jales]

yep unnacceptance is right

and nothing is your fault.
the way you treat other is not even your fault.

did you choose to be born in the country you were born in? or to the parent you were born to?

nothing is anyone's fault.. we are just the effect of some pretty unknown causes. cause and effect.. or actions are reactions..

where it all started i have no idea..

as far as the world wars and hunger goes it is not your fault. it is not the fault of any animal or plant or rock.. we were all born as we were born with no choice in the matter at all..

BuT it is our responsibility..once we accept it to insure that others benefit from our lives. I believe that as soon as you fulfill your nature by providing for yourself .... all else should be towards providing for other because we need eachother. because i need people, and animals and oxygen and rocks..... just as much that they need me. Except oxygen and rocks lol I guess they dont need me. But the point is we are all here and we are all connected and I think we were all meant to serve each other in some way you know.

 

[nope_real]

I understand what you both mean and you're right. I think I was just pissed off after work and started an autophobic rant in my head. I feel really guilty when anything good happens to me too, like I must give it back or do something bad to upset myself for balance. Like a pathetic karma thing.

 

[jales]

yea i feel that as well..

like because i'm not perfect i dont deserve good things.. so its like i need to do wicked things to myself before life does it to me.

i dont know what to do about it but i know how fear of karma feels..