what is your biggest fear in life?
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CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
To be told I cant have children.... I cant deal with that.
why do you want children? i have a problem with reality so if i have a child id have problems thinking. is my child real?
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Awh I wanted a child for as long as I can remember. I am family orientated so always wanted a family of my own one day… it sounds sad but i’d die happy if given the privilege of being a mother.
U-122
Well-known member
women
U-122
Well-known member
))U-122
Well-known member
I was born dead. I died again later in life and was revived. I'm dead inside. No big deal for me. I look death in the eyes and say "not today" lol
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Why!!?!?! lolz
Scares the honeysuckle out of me 
U-122
Well-known member
they create real problems for me. i don't even want to write about it. it's too overwhelming to even think about it.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Not all of us, I promise I only create solutions
Wow! That surprises me. I see death as a HUGE relief.
I over dosed on alcohol several times. I died and was brought back too. I never saw or felt anything special. Actually I don't remember any of it.
My biggest fear is that I will loose control of myself and allow my angry to do horrible things to others especially when totally justified. That's actually a big reason why I do not want to ever go on meds. They are basically experimenting on you to see what works. And well, if my self control is taken away that would be very bad.
For instance, it's early in the morning here and several people are playing loud stereos, using leaf blowers, and dogs are barking. It's all illegal because it's too early to be doing any of that. But, the cops will not enforce noise laws any more. So, my mind is telling me that it would be totally okay to blow them all away. They obviously have zero respect or concern about others. So, they deserve whatever they get. It would be completely justified. However, I know that if I do that my life is over. So, I hold myself back. But, all of this noise is torturing me.
When I am honest with an ENT doctor and ask them to please make me deaf so I can get some relief they won't do it. Instead they try to send me to get a mental evaluation. I have gotten mental evaluations and they say go see an ENT.
So, I fear at some point, when I'm feeling really depressed and / or angry I just might loose control of myself.
For instance, it's early in the morning here and several people are playing loud stereos, using leaf blowers, and dogs are barking. It's all illegal because it's too early to be doing any of that. But, the cops will not enforce noise laws any more. So, my mind is telling me that it would be totally okay to blow them all away. They obviously have zero respect or concern about others. So, they deserve whatever they get. It would be completely justified. However, I know that if I do that my life is over. So, I hold myself back. But, all of this noise is torturing me.
When I am honest with an ENT doctor and ask them to please make me deaf so I can get some relief they won't do it. Instead they try to send me to get a mental evaluation. I have gotten mental evaluations and they say go see an ENT.
So, I fear at some point, when I'm feeling really depressed and / or angry I just might loose control of myself.
U-122
Well-known member
TogetherAlone
Well-known member
Probably that I will wake up to find all my life so far was some crazy dream and I'll be part of a new never lived life. Might be better that way or worse but it would be new and scary, even if I hate how things are now it's familiar.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Besides the obvious ones like disease and death, loss of loved ones, things like that -
I would say it's the fear that what you can and can't do with your life is already predetermined by genetics and there's nothing you can do about it - specifically being genetically limited to being average at best, and inferior at worst - where it is a fact, that it is not possible for me to achieve at anything, no matter how hard I try, practice, work, sacrifice, etc. - that my abilities are fixed, they are what they are and that's it, I can't do much better than I can do something right now, and if it's enough to do something it's enough, and if it isn't, it isn't, and also that the best I can do is get just a little bit better at something with practice, and no more, but if I stop practicing, I'll quickly atrophy back down to my default level of ability.
And if I can't do better than average, it means I can't make money and get into a better lifestyle and get the stuff I want, and it means I can't be an interesting person or do anything I wish I could do or come up with the kinds of ideas I wish I could have, and it also means my chance of attracting someone isn't good either, because I won't be able to be successful or interesting enough to impress or interest anyone with me - which is another big fear in and of itself.
It also means that I'll never be able to push back against and assert myself against people that act like they're better than me, and that it's true that they are in fact better than me, and I have to just take the insult/humiliation.
I've always been afraid of this, being limited/average/inferior/a loser/incapable of achievement or success, because that's how I felt about myself and that's how it seemed for people around me. It seemed like you were either born good, or you weren't and that was it. Outside of the obvious ones, I'd say this is my biggest fear.
I would say it's the fear that what you can and can't do with your life is already predetermined by genetics and there's nothing you can do about it - specifically being genetically limited to being average at best, and inferior at worst - where it is a fact, that it is not possible for me to achieve at anything, no matter how hard I try, practice, work, sacrifice, etc. - that my abilities are fixed, they are what they are and that's it, I can't do much better than I can do something right now, and if it's enough to do something it's enough, and if it isn't, it isn't, and also that the best I can do is get just a little bit better at something with practice, and no more, but if I stop practicing, I'll quickly atrophy back down to my default level of ability.
And if I can't do better than average, it means I can't make money and get into a better lifestyle and get the stuff I want, and it means I can't be an interesting person or do anything I wish I could do or come up with the kinds of ideas I wish I could have, and it also means my chance of attracting someone isn't good either, because I won't be able to be successful or interesting enough to impress or interest anyone with me - which is another big fear in and of itself.
It also means that I'll never be able to push back against and assert myself against people that act like they're better than me, and that it's true that they are in fact better than me, and I have to just take the insult/humiliation.
I've always been afraid of this, being limited/average/inferior/a loser/incapable of achievement or success, because that's how I felt about myself and that's how it seemed for people around me. It seemed like you were either born good, or you weren't and that was it. Outside of the obvious ones, I'd say this is my biggest fear.
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any of my kids dying before me
