What is your most poignant reminder that you are lonely?

[Nyktimos]

i never go out on saturday nights or friday nights

i probably type more words here on this forum, than speak to other people face to face

You make such a difference here, it's a pity you haven't been able to extend that to the outside world. I'm sure you will.

Being with my girlfriend today made me feel lonely because we have so little in common. I just wanted to come here and read some posts, rather than spend the rest of the day with her. That's crazy! I feel lonelier with her than when I'm sitting alone in a room staring at a computer screen.

 

[ExtensivexLDL]

i never go out on saturday nights or friday nights

i probably type more words here on this forum, than speak to other people face to face

You make such a difference here, it's a pity you haven't been able to extend that to the outside world. I'm sure you will.

Being with my girlfriend today made me feel lonely because we have so little in common. I just wanted to come here and read some posts, rather than spend the rest of the day with her. That's crazy! I feel lonelier with her than when I'm sitting alone in a room staring at a computer screen.

I don't get it.. what's stopping you from working things out with her.. or leaving her?..

 

[Nyktimos]

I don't get it.. what's stopping you from working things out with her.. or leaving her?..

I've covered this extensively elsewhere, so in short; she's a bit of a nut job who is already on the verge of (another) breakdown but refuses to accept that it is she and not the world that has the problem; I'm a wimp who has always tended to put myself out for girlfriends, but has never been in a relationship long enough for someone to get so thoroughly dependent on me; I still care enough not to want to comdemn her to whatever drastic action she will take to prove to the world how hard-done-by she is if I leave her.

Plus, it's not like I've ever done anything worthwhile in my life or would know how to. Perhaps keeping her just this side of bonkers is as good a purpose as any.

 

[one lonely guy]

For me it was late last year when I was hit by a car, knocked unconscious and was rushed to Accident & Emergency in an ambulance.

Had exactly that happen ~20yr ago. Very similar situation wrt whom to call or who'd come.

Other poignant reminders:
1) On death of my brother, father & mother, who I buried on my own without support from relatives or friends, had only ~20 people show up (few who I even knew), and most relatives barely acknowledged the events.
2) Incoming calls are down to ~1 every 3 days, and actually that includes nuisance calls.
3) I'm constantly aware that if I fell over dead in my apartment, I'd not be found before the next monthly rent check was due - actually one of the reasons I don't provide annual post-dated checks. Most of my few 'friends' just assume if I don't answer I'm busy and they never follow up.
4) I've had 2 visitors in the past year and a half, and even that was only due to unusual circumstances.
5) I have only one friend I can generally rely on to answer the phone and chat; virtually all others are unreachable 95% of the time due to a host of reasons.

Gawd, that sounds pathetic when I reread it.

 

[Hijacc]

Going to school.

 

[Caesium]

Going to school.

This, actually. At home and online I feel fine, normal even.

 

[Hijacc]

Going to school.

This, actually. At home and online I feel fine, normal even.

Social interaction's of other people annoy me somewhat just the fact that there are "Ranks* in school is stupid.

 

[Caesium]

>>Social interaction's of other people annoy me somewhat just the fact that there are "Ranks* in school is stupid.

We don't really have that at my school, I think. Everyone seems fairly nice, but most of them already have groups of friends with whom they regularly go out, so gaining entry, and being accepted into one of these groups is a difficult task. It's even more difficult for me as I am afraid of social interactions and am pretty shy. Furthermore, I really don't seem to have that much in common with many of the people at school - I like computers, programming, etc. whilst the majority of my peers do not.

 

[Bluey]

For me it was late last year when I was hit by a car, knocked unconscious and was rushed to Accident & Emergency in an ambulance.

The nurse asked me who I wanted to call. I couldn't think of anyone who would come (my parents do not reside in the country). When I was discharged, it was advised that someone watch me while I sleep incase of brain injury. I slept alone. The next 2 weeks I could hardly walk and I ordered takeaways because no one came to help me to buy food. They were too busy.


My time at university truly sucks.

That is a poignant reminder. Sorry to hear that mate. I had an operation the other year back. My mum and dad do live close by other wise I would had been in the same vote has yourself. But no one came to see me why I was still recovering and could not drive. I suppose I don't really have a poignant reminder. Just like to day when I been out all day and come back to an empty place. The other day when I come back and my front door was wide open and had been all day where I had not shot it properly. I thought I had been burgled for a minute. Of course I had to deal with going in alone. Its just lots of little stuff like that that reminds me.

 

[Tramp]

For me it was late last year when I was hit by a car, knocked unconscious and was rushed to Accident & Emergency in an ambulance.

Had exactly that happen ~20yr ago. Very similar situation wrt whom to call or who'd come.

Other poignant reminders:
1) On death of my brother, father & mother, who I buried on my own without support from relatives or friends, had only ~20 people show up (few who I even knew), and most relatives barely acknowledged the events.
2) Incoming calls are down to ~1 every 3 days, and actually that includes nuisance calls.
3) I'm constantly aware that if I fell over dead in my apartment, I'd not be found before the next monthly rent check was due - actually one of the reasons I don't provide annual post-dated checks. Most of my few 'friends' just assume if I don't answer I'm busy and they never follow up.
4) I've had 2 visitors in the past year and a half, and even that was only due to unusual circumstances.
5) I have only one friend I can generally rely on to answer the phone and chat; virtually all others are unreachable 95% of the time due to a host of reasons.

Gawd, that sounds pathetic when I reread it.

Very sorry to hear about your situation. Especially about your family. I hope you're holding up...

 

[one lonely guy]

Very sorry to hear about your situation. Especially about your family. I hope you're holding up...

Thanks. Surviving, I'd say.
The only positive spin to getting older and still being excruciatingly lonely is that one learns to cope. It never gets easier though. (noticed you're in ON too)
olg

 

[snow]

Been feeling quite lonely lately, since they put me on midnight shift at my job (for this week only thank god). I see my ex-gf for the first time in 5 years the other day and asks me 'So how is it that you don't have a girlfriend?'. That makes me feel good and bad at the same time =/

Now I'm wanting to play this game 'Deadspace' because you get to shoot aliens in a big lonely warehouse spaceship. Now I have a new comp so probably going to spend even less time meeting women...esp since I'm burned out with online dating. Oh well...

 

[scotsgirl]

My very tidy house.......a place for everything and everything in it's place.

 

[wolfshadow]

Very sorry to hear about your situation. Especially about your family. I hope you're holding up...

Thanks. Surviving, I'd say.
The only positive spin to getting older and still being excruciatingly lonely is that one learns to cope. It never gets easier though. (noticed you're in ON too)
olg

I concur OLG. The older you become, the more time you have to develop methods of being philosophical about being lonely.

 

[Freakin_Amazin]

Poignant reminder's that I'm lonely...

When I walk out of class and I see all these people, a walking, breathing mass, almost like a school of fish, and I feel like the diver sent down to study them...
There are alot of times I've felt I'm just somebody inside of myself, like my body's just a vessel and I've been sent to an alien world to study it. Like I'm disconnected from the real world everybody else is in.
I will admit though, I made enough mistakes to get to this point. I had a girl like me at a time I was not ready for a relationship (I had just gotten out of my first one). She did things for me no one else has ever done, and yet I didn't want to get into something where my heart wasn't completely in it, and so sometimes I acted like an *******, just to get her off of me. Big mistake.
Now I sit and think of all those times she was with me, all those times she hitched a ride with my mom to come pick me up at my college when I didn't have a liscence, all those times she paid attention to me and only me. I sit and think and sadness like I have never experienced comes over me. It's the kind of feeling a person gets when they realize their dream was right in front of them and they let it slip away, and it's probably never coming back.
I'm trying to be her friend now, but she doesn't even want that. I'm fighting for this... and the loneliness that accompanies the knowledge that I screwed up is killing me.

 

[JessChandler]

I guess it would be listening to people arguing and stuff, watching say any adult argue about things that are stupid and meaningless. But meh! =D

 

[TheCrow]

My most poignant reminder is my friends. Oddly enough. Every time we hang out I'm painfully stabbed in the heart by the fact that two of them are going out, it just never really gets better for me anymore.

Surely it will eventually, but chasing that carrot isn't very fun when there is pretty much no incentive to move forward as it is, and the amount of negative reinforcement I get just from watching other relationships makes me despair more daily.

 

[Brian]

I guess it would be listening to people arguing and stuff, watching say any adult argue about things that are stupid and meaningless. But meh! =D

Funny, I think the same when I hear teenagers arguing

 

[Oceanmist23]

Every weekend when my bf is out with his friends and I'm home alone listening to everybody coming back from the pub laughing and joking. I'm just sat watching tv or going on facebook, the same thing I do every night. There's nobody to talk to ....

It's the nights when I am completely alone that make me remember.

Wow... That was my EXACT experience when I lived in London with my boyfriend at the time.
I hated it. I was happy that he had a good social life, but at the same time I hated that he wouldn't take me with him.
Stupid guys night out... And yeah, what a LOVELY way to treat me...
I moved to another country for him, where I didn't know anyone.
He knew I didn't have many friends back home, and he knew I found it hard to make new friends.
He knew I was stuck in the flat by myself. He knew I missed my family.
One time he went to the pub after work, got drunk, ignored my phone calls (I found this out later through his friend), and managed to fall asleep on the train home so that he didn't come home until in the middle of the night or early morning or whatever it was. The big deal about that was the fact that I had a flight to catch that morning and he had promised to go with me to the airport. We didn't get far at all before he got sick from last night and he had to go back to the flat and I had to go to the airport by myself.

It's not like I never made mistakes. I know I did.
Guess that makes my ex & I even.

my mum is in hospital getting treatment for breast cancer

I'm sorry to hear about your mum *Hugs*
My mum had her breast cancer surgery just over a month ago, and her first chemo treatment last week.
The tumour was at stage 2. Luckily there was no spreading to the lymph nodes.
How is your mum doing? How is the prognosis?
I wish both you and her all the best.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Getting up and realizing its the same thing over and over for the past couple of years. Living to go to school and get work done with nothing to look forward to. Spending the weekends doing chores and just wondering what everyone else is doing. Barely any calls for myself and spending time in the same household with a mother and sister who don't care if you kill yourself and would probably like me too since they see me as such a failure. There is nowhere to go and really nothing to do. Just some of those thoughts really remind me how I am lonely.