What is your most poignant reminder that you are lonely?

[tal]

I find going out, especially in towns makes me feel most lonely. There's the happy couples (something I may never be a part of), the beautiful young girls (who I've never had and may never have, and they rub it in by dressing provocatively - not exactly a complaint btw lol), and the groups of laughing, joking friends (again something I've never belonged to). They also all look really confident and capable of getting on with life, yet I feel quite the opposite - kind of like I'm just something 'other' looking through a glass screen at them all.

 

[Qui]

I really only feel lonely when I'm with my guy friends sitting around talking.
I think I need older friends, the teenage boy thing is pretty old.
For me, loneliness is something I mostly grew out of.

 

[leftykmonahan]

Sitting in a bar full of people with all their friends and lovers, enjoying themselves, and feeling completely alienated.

 

[AimeeLou84]

Wow... That was my EXACT experience when I lived in London with my boyfriend at the time.
I hated it. I was happy that he had a good social life, but at the same time I hated that he wouldn't take me with him.
Stupid guys night out... And yeah, what a LOVELY way to treat me...
I moved to another country for him, where I didn't know anyone.
He knew I didn't have many friends back home, and he knew I found it hard to make new friends.
He knew I was stuck in the flat by myself. He knew I missed my family.
One time he went to the pub after work, got drunk, ignored my phone calls (I found this out later through his friend), and managed to fall asleep on the train home so that he didn't come home until in the middle of the night or early morning or whatever it was. The big deal about that was the fact that I had a flight to catch that morning and he had promised to go with me to the airport. We didn't get far at all before he got sick from last night and he had to go back to the flat and I had to go to the airport by myself.

It's not like I never made mistakes. I know I did.
Guess that makes my ex & I even.


I know I don't hate the fact that my bf has his own social life either.What I hate is the fact that like it was with you,he knows how lonely I feel.We argue about it so many times yet he still never even tried to get me to go out with him.But that was because he doesn't tell people about me.His sisters and his mum dont know about me or his friends.So he can hardly take me along to hang out with everyone when he hasn't even mentioned the fact that he has a girlfriend let alone that we live together.The only person who does know is his dad.

I used to be fine if I just received a text throughout the evening just telling me hes thinking of me while he was gone.But that stopped and now I just drink every friday evening to stop the pain that nobody is actually thinking of me that night.So it's difficult.I do like him having his own friends,but inviting me along occasionally to parties etc would have meant the world to me.God telling people about me would mean the world to me but he doesn't.He's seen how much pain he puts me through but he says he has a real problem telling people about girlfriends because of something that happened in the past.He cant get that its different with us than what happened in his past and its just so frustrating.

My mum is getting by.She's in and out of hospital because the treatment is making her really ill.She's just lost her hair through chemo and that affected her a little.She's still managing to stay upbeat though which is something I don't think I'd be if it happened to me! I don't live by her so I can't visit her often which I do feel guilty about.But treatment seems to be going ok at the moment.

How is your mum doing after her first chemo session?


Thank you for the reply and sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

 

[Oceanmist23]

I know I don't hate the fact that my bf has his own social life either.What I hate is the fact that like it was with you,he knows how lonely I feel.We argue about it so many times yet he still never even tried to get me to go out with him.But that was because he doesn't tell people about me.His sisters and his mum dont know about me or his friends.So he can hardly take me along to hang out with everyone when he hasn't even mentioned the fact that he has a girlfriend let alone that we live together.The only person who does know is his dad.

I used to be fine if I just received a text throughout the evening just telling me hes thinking of me while he was gone.But that stopped and now I just drink every friday evening to stop the pain that nobody is actually thinking of me that night.So it's difficult.I do like him having his own friends,but inviting me along occasionally to parties etc would have meant the world to me.God telling people about me would mean the world to me but he doesn't.He's seen how much pain he puts me through but he says he has a real problem telling people about girlfriends because of something that happened in the past.He cant get that its different with us than what happened in his past and its just so frustrating.

My mum is getting by.She's in and out of hospital because the treatment is making her really ill.She's just lost her hair through chemo and that affected her a little.She's still managing to stay upbeat though which is something I don't think I'd be if it happened to me! I don't live by her so I can't visit her often which I do feel guilty about.But treatment seems to be going ok at the moment.

How is your mum doing after her first chemo session?


Thank you for the reply and sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

Good to hear from you AimeeLou
I find it quite strange that your boyfriend doesn't tell anyone about you, especially since you're living together.
Yeah it shouldn't matter what happened in his past. You are his present, and that's what he should focus on.
I was the same with the texts, if I just got one during the evening saying he's thinking of me or just to let me know when he'll be home so I knew whether to make dinner for him or not, I would be fine.

The situation in your relationship is one I know I wouldn't be happy with myself.
From my past relationships I now know not to settle for that kind of bullshit. I deserve better. And frankly, so do you.
I really hope that whatever happens, that you will do what's best for you and what makes you happy.

I'm sorry to hear your mum is getting ill from the chemo..
How many treatments has she had so far? Is it quite a heavy chemo mix she's on?
I hope she will stop getting ill from it soon. Good to hear she's staying upbeat, she's tough

My mum is doing quite well. She was nauseous the first couple of days but now she's feeling fine.
Next treatment will be on the 23rd. When she's had all of them she's gonna have radiation, and then HRT for 5 years.
She's started a big vitamin and mineral supplement regime to keep her immune system in good shape throughout all this.

Wish you and your mum well

 

[Newmanium]

Pictures are a reminder for me also, but then again I do not mind not having any pictures of myself (I won't allow it if I can prevent it from being taken.) It's not having any pictures of people who I could or maybe call friends.

Another reminder is never having anyone to invite to an LSU football game with me. I pay a pretty penny for my season tickets, I just wish I could sit next to someone who I know instead of the strangers who I sell my extra tickets to.

 

[luciddisconnect]

My most poignant reminder is my friends. Oddly enough. Every time we hang out I'm painfully stabbed in the heart by the fact that two of them are going out, it just never really gets better for me anymore.

Surely it will eventually, but chasing that carrot isn't very fun when there is pretty much no incentive to move forward as it is, and the amount of negative reinforcement I get just from watching other relationships makes me despair more daily.

I had to think for a while to get a decent answer for this question. Mine is similar to Crow's.

I was visiting with one of my best friends and his wife came home later in the night. She was looking particularly lovely and well made up that evening. There was a glow about her. And much as I like her and like hanging out with her, it just stung that night. It was past midnight so shortly thereafter I said goodnight and went home.

It's not that I'm romantically attracted to this woman. But at that particular time she represented the kind of companionship that I long for. And that reminder was just too painful to be around. I find it poignant that I had to flee beauty because it makes me more lonely.

 

[Pasha Selim]

For me it was late last year when I was hit by a car, knocked unconscious and was rushed to Accident & Emergency in an ambulance.

The nurse asked me who I wanted to call. I couldn't think of anyone who would come (my parents do not reside in the country). When I was discharged, it was advised that someone watch me while I sleep incase of brain injury. I slept alone. The next 2 weeks I could hardly walk and I ordered takeaways because no one came to help me to buy food. They were too busy.

My time at university truly sucks.

In time of sickness I also have this problem. I could die like a dog. I have a good friend that buys me food, medicines and takes me with his car, if I am lucky he is available.
These days is Easter, greatest holiday in my country. People celebrate and I hear the joy from my house. I am so down that I am unshaved and dirty.
Loneliness is so humiliating.

 

[leftykmonahan]

For me it was late last year when I was hit by a car, knocked unconscious and was rushed to Accident & Emergency in an ambulance.

The nurse asked me who I wanted to call. I couldn't think of anyone who would come (my parents do not reside in the country). When I was discharged, it was advised that someone watch me while I sleep incase of brain injury. I slept alone. The next 2 weeks I could hardly walk and I ordered takeaways because no one came to help me to buy food. They were too busy.

My time at university truly sucks.

In time of sickness I also have this problem. I could die like a dog. I have a good friend that buys me food, medicines and takes me with his car, if I am lucky he is available.
These days is Easter, greatest holiday in my country. People celebrate and I hear the joy from my house. I am so down that I am unshaved and dirty.
Loneliness is so humiliating.

Happy Holidays are the worst when alone. :O

 

[LilyS]

I could write a long list... But I just started thinking, that no one else has mentioned this: people assuming what my life is like. For example, people (relatives or someone from my work etc.) asking about my weekend plans or asking about any boyfriends, or other "thing" I might have going on with someone...
Apperently people think, that me being young equals lots of friends, boyfriends or at least one night stands, partying on every weekend and just being carefree.
Sometimes I wonder, what would they think if they knew the truth...

 

[alwaysinvisible]

When I hear co-workers and colleagues talk about how great their weekends/breaks are, and how I try my best to avoid talking about what I did over the weekend or what my plans are.

Lying in my bed on a Friday night. Doing homework on the weekends, so that I can tell myself that I am too busy to go out with "friends."

Going on myspace and facebook, and seeing pictures/comments of old friends with their new friends. And looking at my empty comment box.

By the way I'm new here. Hello everybody! Being on here makes me feel better. Knowing that I am not the only person who doesn't have friends make me feel less alone.

 

[Jeremi]

Hey alwaysinvisible. Welcome to the forums ^^

What hits me the hardest is when I'm at work talking to anyone of my workmates, and they mention "their best friend" or "one of my friends". Or when one of their friends visits them. I just get that feeling of "Oh yeah, everyone have a happy life full of friends, and they're not desperate like me looking for friends at work" and then it all feels so hopeless

Heh, so weak. I try really hard to reach out to my workmates. I just wish they would do the same, because some of us get along really well

 

[lonelyash]

Every waking minute of every day reminds me. I have no one to talk to, no one around, no one to hold.

 

[luciddisconnect]

I could write a long list... But I just started thinking, that no one else has mentioned this: people assuming what my life is like. For example, people (relatives or someone from my work etc.) asking about my weekend plans or asking about any boyfriends [girlfriends], or other "thing" I might have going on with someone...
Apperently people think, that me being young equals lots of friends, boyfriends [girlfriends] or at least one night stands, partying on every weekend and just being carefree.
Sometimes I wonder, what would they think if they knew the truth...

Of course my life's different than yours but still I have to agree with every word of this.

 

[ledchick]

That I can sit in the middle of a room, where people have to walk around me to go through the room, and no one has spoken one word to me in over 6 hours..... I am beginning to wonder if I am even here, myself!