What to do when things are going into the Friend Zone

[Sway]

okay heres the gist of it,

I'm 19, and never been in a relationship, and I've gotten out of my low-self esteem phase (more of less). I'm pretty comfortable with myself, and only have to occasionally have to beat down negative thoughts.

My situation is that theres this girl that I like,and we just met each other last September, and we hung out quite a few times... but since i never had any experience in dating, (i feel feel hesitant to hug, do lovey-dovey stuff, and to express my feelings) and i think i'm spiraling down to the "just friends" zone.

If any1 has experiences with their relationships, can u lend some advice?
And as a question, suppose if I do end into the friend zone... is there anyway i can make it out?

 

[Badjedidude]

Man...for some reason it feels like I'm saying the same thing in every post I make. Either the answer is really that amazingly simple or I'm just a moron with a one-track mind. So I guess I'll just suck it up and say it again:

GO FOR IT. Just do it. Balls, dude, she's definitely going to remain "just a friend" if she sees that you don't have the confidence to tell her you're interested. Just be completely honest and straightforward about it, like this:

"Hey, (girl's name), I'm nervous about saying this, so don't laugh at me or anything. I like you, you know that? I've been interested in you since (whenever) because you are so (reasons). Do you feel the same way?"

If she says yes, then you're good to go. If she says no, then don't worry because there's nothing else you could have done to change her answer anyway. All you're doing by hesitating is avoiding finding out the truth of the matter.

That's what I've learned about relationships, and not just romantic ones. For some reason people think they need to hide things these days...or they're too afraid to speak what they feel. OUT WITH IT, says I!

----Steve

 

[Sway]

Yeah, i guess I rly need to Nut up or Shut up ... boo for being a hesitant person. aye...

I'ma go for it, if things do work out this weekend i'ma love u so much Steve... no homo

 

[RebeccaSarah33]

lol badjedidude i like ur boldness

if ur nervous about saying it you could always try and just give her a hug or hold her hand and see if she goes for that

 

[?uest Love]

well honestly, ive been where you were. Like confidence comes from experience, but you should at least believe that you can muster up the guts to ask her out. I pretty much had this girl that I liked and because she was teh only girl in my life, i didn't want to ruin what we had and loser her by tellling her how i really felt. In the end, I think she figured that I liked her, but didn't have the balls to tell her and she eventually stopped talking to me. So what i feared the most ended up happening and how i really feel about her will forever remain with me. Don't let this happen, life is about risks and if it doesn't work out then just move on. You're going to have to experience some lost battles before you experience some victories.

 

[Sway]

Boo, I plucked up the courage to ask, but she told me that she's not interested in an relationship,,, and that I was a good friend.... sigh I guess I never have good luck in relationshipss =(

oh well, at least i got the message thru, time to go do something productive

 

[Badjedidude]

Awwww...I'm sorry to hear that. At least now you KNOW how she feels, so you can work from there. Remember, just because she doesn't want a relationship now doesn't mean she never will. Now it's your job to MAKE her interested.

...in a non-creepy, obsessive way, of course!

And if it still doesn't work out, at least you know you have the guts to actually ASK the next time you're interested in a girl, which is more than a lot of people can say. I say you've scored a victory either way!

----Steve

 

[Luna]

(Don't hurt me)

Good for you on having the courage to ask...I would likely honeysuckle my pants before doing such a thing.
I'd much rather know the answer vs. fantasizing - which I have sadly become an expert at.
You're valuable enough to be considered a good friend.
I can't even get friend-zoned let alone a romantic relationship - I'm just in a little zone of my own. o_o

 

[Brian]

And if it still doesn't work out, at least you know you have the guts to actually ASK the next time you're interested in a girl, which is more than a lot of people can say. I say you've scored a victory either way!

----Steve

I'll reiterate that.

Being able to make yourself do these things is a huge step. You prove to yourself that you can.