What to do?

[aspalas]

As some of you might have read I've sent a valentines card to a girl, but I didn't get any response yet. It was anonymous but IMO it was clear enough it came from me.

I think there are 2 possibilities; it wasn't delivered at all, or she doesn't know it was me. I really want to talk to her about the card but I don't know how. She's on vacation right now but she has internet so it's no problem to use whatsapp. The problem is that I'd like to talk to her in person about this on one end, but on the other end I just can't stand waiting until she's back. I, as I said, also am not sure if she's got it. She didn't mention it and I haven't heard about it from any of her friends. It would be pretty weird to send her a text like: "hey, did you like my card?" while she didn't receive one.

What would you guys do? Wait until she's back or try to figure something out as soon as possible? And is there a way to trick her into talking about the card without actually mentioning it?

Thanks![/align]

 

[bodafuko]

That's the problem with the sort of gesture you offered, it places all of the power in her hands. Woops

 

[AiyanaS]

I suggest waiting until she gets back.

 

[aspalas]

Yea I've made up my mind. I'll just wait until she's back. I'm more comfortable talking to people in real life anyway, especially to her.

E: also buys me another week to prepare for the worst .

 

[Tiina63]

Waiting for another week on edge will be hard, but it would be the best thing to do. Maybe she is trying to decide how to respond? Give her the time and space till she gets back to think it over. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Sheesh, I never like anonymity if I get stuff from people lol. It's like playing mind games or something.

But yes, see what happens when she comes back. You asked for it lol by being anonymous! But then again, sorry I didn't catch your story about this so not sure why you did it anonymously. All the best either way and hope it works out! Keep us updated.

 

[aspalas]

Ok, guys I really need help.

A couple of days ago I chatted with this girl for a couple of hours and my intention was to ask her out but I thought I could do that later. I do know that she has time (tonight, it's 4pm here at the moment), because I did ask her if she had anything planned this weekend and she said no (except for a party from her school yesterday). I procastrinated asking her out and now I just can't find the courage to ask her to grab a drink tonight, but I really, really want to. I've known her for a long time and I like for a quite a while now, and I was planning to just tell her tonight, but as I said I can't find the courage to ask, and the clock is ticking.

Any tips?

E: Not sure if she knows the card was mine either. I think it was too unclear that I sent it, but I'm also planning to tell her it was mine. Once we're talking face to face this should be no problem.

 

[Gondwanaland]

I just can't find the courage to ask her to grab a drink tonight, but I really, really want to. I've known her for a long time and I like for a quite a while now, and I was planning to just tell her tonight, but as I said I can't find the courage to ask, and the clock is ticking.

Just do it. Call her and ask her if she wants to grab a drink with you. If she rejects you, well, move on and think about those ones who have been rejected in the past.

If you don't try it, you'll regret it in the future and "why didn't I do it when I had the chance???" will be around your mind for a couple of days.

Good luck to you.

I hope this was useful.

 

[aspalas]

Ok, I've just sent her a message (whatsapp).

"hey *****, want to grab a drink tonight? We haven't met for a while!" (In English "we haven't met for a while" looks kind of weird but in my language it's ok).

According to whatsapp she was online at 14:59, I hope she'll respond soon because I really can't stand being this nervous. If she doesn't want to meet I'll just forget about her (although I'd rather be rejected face to face, I still have some unanswered questions about her behaviour around me, and I'd like to ask her not to contact me again for a while so I can forget her).

E: anyway, thanks Gondwanaland, I really needed someone to encourage me to just do it. I'll post an update as soon as I have a response. Going to finish a painting I'm working on to relieve the stress, lol.

 

[Gondwanaland]

Good 4 u, man!!!!

 

[aspalas]

She still hasn't been online according to whatsapp. She doesn't have 3G on her phone she uses WiFi, so I guess she's not at home/doesn't have WiFi...

God this really is killing me :S.

 

[BrokenInside]

Calm down aspalas! Please try to engage your mind somewhere else until she answers you.

 

[aspalas]

She still hasn't been online (and I'm not gonna call her because I don't want to look too desperate), but I'm much calmer now. Just finished a painting .

 

[BrokenInside]

That's good aspalas Nice!! so you do abstracts Is it your hobby or you are a fine arts student?

 

[aspalas]

Hobby but next year I'm going to do fine art. I'm already admitted at one school but in a few days I'll have to do an exam (well, show my portfolio and make art there) at another one, the "gerrit rietveld academy", which is the best art school in our country.

 

[BrokenInside]

Oh wish you all the luck for that Someday i might be asking you to sketch me keep up the good work!

 

[aspalas]

Thanks! She still hasn't been online but I've really calmed down now. I think she's at her sisters' (her sister lives in another city), I know she goes there almost every weekend to have dinner with her, and I know she doesn't have an internet connection there.

It feels good to know that I'll be "done" with this girl (or not) very soon. It might not be the best thing to do but I've convinced myself that she doesn't like me (even though I think there's a pretty good chance she does), and I'm fine with it. I've learned to always expect the worst when it comes to girls and I think that it's a good thing to do even if it can make you really sad occasionally. This is also a perfect moment to be rejected because everything (except the issues I have with this girl) is going well. I have plenty of things to look forward to besides a relationship.

---

She responded,

She said she would like to but she has a deadline at 22:00 (and it's 19:48 now)... I hope she's fine with meeting after that.

 

[aspalas]

We'll get together tomorrow.

I'm feeling really strange at the moment. When I sent her this message I was nervous and verry stressed, but every hour it gets less and now I don't think I have any emotions left at all. I know they're still there but somehow almost everything has disappeared. I don't feel sad or angry or happy but I also don't really feel like I'm in love with her anymore. Really weird. Tomorrow I'll post everything.

 

[perfanoff]

Good luck friend.

 

[aspalas]

Thanks!