What to say to a girl you like the look of

[SimonT]

Here's my dilemma. I've been single for a fair while now (4yrs) and my self esteem with women, as you can imagine, is very low, it's a combination of being fussy, having very bad approach anxiety, and being rubbish at creating attraction or a spark with women, does happen, but hardly, and I mean hardly ever. I have had a couple of little romances last year and the year before but didn't work out. Anyway, what I want to know (and this is for the ladies on this site, but guys can answer too, but I'd prefer a womans perspective) what should a guy say to start a conversation with a girl he's never met before, say, at a bus station or on the bus, in the street, in the supermarket, or in McDonalds? I see women all the time that I fancy, and these are the 4 places I generally go. Should I make eye contact, then smile, and if she smiles back, then make an approach, or do you not think that matters? I don't usually speak to any girls throughout my journeys during the day, cause if it goes badly, think it's coz my self-esteem is so low dunno, but it gets to me and plays on my mind all day, if not for a couple of days, I know sounds sad, but it's what happens. Perhaps I should learn to let things go. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Legato]

I think these days that was of getting a girls attention is fading out. I'd never approach anyone on public transport, as it tends to be the only place I'd want to be left alone on. First impression would be a creep already.

Nobody can help you with lines to say, as it's different for different women. It's much more suitable to approach a woman whilst being on an activity, or at the pub/bar or something. Just be yourself, start with something you feel confident in. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

Main thing to remember is women have different tastes. So there's probably a 75% the advice a woman gives you on here, would work out there.

Good luck though. If you've got the balls to approach them in the first place it's showing confidence.

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

A simple compliment & a smile go a long way and is such a good ice breaker, sometimes less is more in the sense a subtle gesture or comment can spark a meaningful conversation & thats the key cos u might not see that person again or you may see that person frequently in ur case bus stops etc so you want what you say to hold weight ,be remembered for something kind or friendly so the nxt time that person see's you they might feel comfortable to strike up a conversation with you next time or for you to speak to them again, its about building relationships & relationships are built on trust so start off with something as simple as a compliment & a smile, woman arent as complicated as we sometimes think

---

sometimes a simple approach is the best approach

 

[Poguesy]

I have a great set of beans.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Hello would be a great start.

 

[duff]

it's hard to go up a random woman and start a conversation.

I suppose you could ask for directions or ask the time. Find an excuse. I would never do anything like that though !

 

[VanillaCreme]

Tell her:

"You ain't a dime. You's a silver dollar. It'd be a crime if I didn't holla!"

 

[Rosebolt]

Treat her the same as you'd treat a girl you didn't like.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

I'm sure you'll get some kind of reaction from this technique...
[video=youtube] [/video]

LOL

 

[ladyforsaken]

^LOL I love that.

 

[Mike413]

You have to be very clever. You can't come up with the same thing that Fred Flinstone said to Wilma and Fred's dad said to his wife. Women have heard it all before a million times over.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

If you're at a cafe, buy her a latte.

/I'm dreaming that someday, I'm gonna get that "courtesy of the gentleman by the window" coffee.
//If you're cute, I'll definitely invite you over to chat, cuz I love caffeine.

 

[MellyVinelli]

Treat her the same as you'd treat a girl you didn't like.

I second this. I think when you try too hard it ends up backfiring. Although I am in a relationship, I struck up a conversation with a girl at the gym. I wasn't looking for anything, but she was watching the same NHL playoff game I was watching and she was literally screaming while she was on the elliptical. I am naturally drawn to girls that watch hockey so I walked by between her and the TV, commented on how disappointing it was, then conversed. Again, there was no pick up intention here. I've never met her before but I was drawn to the strong reaction to a sport I love and naturally had something to say about. I ended up learning that she is adopted along with her adopted brother and has a boyfriend who is a leafs fan and how it clashes with her as a bruins fan. There was no beating around the bush trying to guess if the other person was single or not. No intent, no BS, but it was a nice conversation. It felt goodnfornonce to be somewhat social.

May I also add that I have never done anything like this before. In the past i would have ruined any opportunity to talk to a girl because i had expectations. But I thought I would somehow share that this new approach seemed to work in that the conversation was kept alive for a while without awkwardness. Keep it casual and don't come across you are hunting.

 

[drr26]

I have a great set of beans.

Oh dear. I wonder if you tried that one on the tramp lady (yes remember her) before asking her to dance


I just talk to them normally.

I usually make a silly comment about something relevant and make them laugh with it, no matter who she is. I can talk to girls the same as anybody else, but mind you I've been single nearly 7 years so what do I know on actually getting with someone.

 

[perfanoff]

So, how ya ladies doin' ?

 

[ladyforsaken]

So, how ya ladies doin' ?

Haha.. I can just imagine you saying that. And with the way you say it, it'd totally work.

 

[SimonT]

Yeah, I can talk to girls easily and freely like that, if there's something like what you had as an opener, something you are both participating in or something in the surroundings you can comment on. Like at college, a girl in my class, she sits next to me in all the lessons and I can talk to her dead easy, make her laugh, get on with her well, but we have college stuff to alk about (the assignments and presentations we are working on) and it's easy. It's now come to the point where it's really comfortable and we have grown really close, and can tell she likes me, but I don't fancy her enough in that way, it's sad. I feel like I'm never going find anyone. She' 27, and I'm 37 (a mature student lol!) and she's the age I'm looking for, 26-30, as I don't act or look anywhere near my age, most people say I look 28-30 tops. She's also single but you can't do anything about not fancying her. I am too fussy.

---

Treat her the same as you'd treat a girl you didn't like.

Yeah, I can talk to girls easily and freely like that, if there's something like what you had as an opener, something you are both participating in or something in the surroundings you can comment on. Like at college, a girl in my class, she sits next to me in all the lessons and I can talk to her dead easy, make her laugh, get on with her well, but we have college stuff to alk about (the assignments and presentations we are working on) and it's easy. It's now come to the point where it's really comfortable and we have grown really close, and can tell she likes me, but I don't fancy her enough in that way, it's sad. I feel like I'm never going find anyone. She' 27, and I'm 37 (a mature student lol!) and she's the age I'm looking for, 26-30, as I don't act or look anywhere near my age, most people say I look 28-30 tops. She's also single but you can't do anything about not fancying her. I am too fussy.

---

That was in response to Rosebolt and the hockey game sceanrio above, don't know why it posted it at the bottom.

 

[duff]

Treat her the same as you'd treat a girl you didn't like.

I second this. I think when you try too hard it ends up backfiring. Although I am in a relationship, I struck up a conversation with a girl at the gym. I wasn't looking for anything, but she was watching the same NHL playoff game I was watching and she was literally screaming while she was on the elliptical. I am naturally drawn to girls that watch hockey so I walked by between her and the TV, commented on how disappointing it was, then conversed. Again, there was no pick up intention here. I've never met her before but I was drawn to the strong reaction to a sport I love and naturally had something to say about. I ended up learning that she is adopted along with her adopted brother and has a boyfriend who is a leafs fan and how it clashes with her as a bruins fan. There was no beating around the bush trying to guess if the other person was single or not. No intent, no BS, but it was a nice conversation. It felt goodnfornonce to be somewhat social.

May I also add that I have never done anything like this before. In the past i would have ruined any opportunity to talk to a girl because i had expectations. But I thought I would somehow share that this new approach seemed to work in that the conversation was kept alive for a while without awkwardness. Keep it casual and don't come across you are hunting.

how did you get a date though ?

You talked to this woman about the sports game. Then what happened ? Did you get her number ? Did you ask her for a coffee ?

But I agree your approach is best. You have to be lucky though that she was available. The times I've took a shine to a woman and then found out she's married !

 

[Mike510]

All I can say is observe what it is she is doing and discuss that with her. If she is watching tv you can start a discussion about the show/sport they are watching. If they are reading a book mention something about the author or what the book is about.

 

[Bones]

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

Are you a beaver? Cause dam! You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.