Naleena
Well-known member
Have you ever thought to consider what your part is in something that you don't like about your life? While it doesn't apply to all areas, a lot of times in relationships (or lack of) we play a part in the outcome. I have seen people get angry with the other person in a relationship and sometimes they play the role of victim when it isn't the case.
Can you look back on your past relationships and point out the things you were responsible for? It's a good way to be mindful. This isn't intended to be judgmental but rather an observation. Forget about about right and wrong here.
I know that in my past relationships (romantic and otherwise), I can point out the things that I did to foster the outcomes. For example, I was in a relationship where I wasn't treated very well. At first I wanted to say, "Oh that horrible person did this or that to me and he doesn't care about how I feel." While that was true, that person wasn't to blame for my unhappiness. I was. I was the one who CHOSE to be in that relationship. I could have walked away at any time. Instead, I stayed in it and CHOSE to gripe about the other persons behavior.
Life is full of choices and so are our lives. Sometimes it is easier to be a victim and say we have no control over what is going on. It's easier to blame others than to admit to ourselves that we play a part in what happens. No, we can't always control WHAT happens to us but, we can control how we respond to it. We can chose to grow from our lessons or we can repeat them.
The scary thing about getting stuck in pain (which is a way of protecting ourselves) is that we will forever remain there until we decide to change. There is no reality, only perception. It isn't what happens to us but, how we percieve what happens to us. Change your perception and you change your life. "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." -Alan Cohen
The choice is ours. We can be helpless victims or we can actively take part in creating our future. Sometimes that means breaking out of our familiar emotional places and comfort zone. Sometimes it's uncomfortable but, it is always worth it. "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."- Benjamin Disraeli
What is your part in your future? In your present? In your past?
Can you look back on your past relationships and point out the things you were responsible for? It's a good way to be mindful. This isn't intended to be judgmental but rather an observation. Forget about about right and wrong here.
I know that in my past relationships (romantic and otherwise), I can point out the things that I did to foster the outcomes. For example, I was in a relationship where I wasn't treated very well. At first I wanted to say, "Oh that horrible person did this or that to me and he doesn't care about how I feel." While that was true, that person wasn't to blame for my unhappiness. I was. I was the one who CHOSE to be in that relationship. I could have walked away at any time. Instead, I stayed in it and CHOSE to gripe about the other persons behavior.
Life is full of choices and so are our lives. Sometimes it is easier to be a victim and say we have no control over what is going on. It's easier to blame others than to admit to ourselves that we play a part in what happens. No, we can't always control WHAT happens to us but, we can control how we respond to it. We can chose to grow from our lessons or we can repeat them.
The scary thing about getting stuck in pain (which is a way of protecting ourselves) is that we will forever remain there until we decide to change. There is no reality, only perception. It isn't what happens to us but, how we percieve what happens to us. Change your perception and you change your life. "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." -Alan Cohen
The choice is ours. We can be helpless victims or we can actively take part in creating our future. Sometimes that means breaking out of our familiar emotional places and comfort zone. Sometimes it's uncomfortable but, it is always worth it. "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."- Benjamin Disraeli
What is your part in your future? In your present? In your past?
