what the fresia is wrong with me....ive been alone for quite sometime now...so **** lonely...when the little freinds i do have invite me over i dont know why but i dont go...its like im stuck....some of them dont even invite me anymore....what the fresia??
whats wrong with me
- Thread starter 5pt7art
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
I was going to say "a lot" but then you mightn't understand or appreciate my sense of humour.
Ok here goes..what's wrong with you is...........you ask the wrong questions.
You should ask..."what's right with me?" Now, you're probably not accustomed to searching for the positives in yourself, but everyone's got at least a few. Even if it is "I make my bed every day." A lot of people don't even do that.
Most people are like you. they focus on what's wrong. Such perfectionism is unhealthy.
Ok here goes..what's wrong with you is...........you ask the wrong questions.
You should ask..."what's right with me?" Now, you're probably not accustomed to searching for the positives in yourself, but everyone's got at least a few. Even if it is "I make my bed every day." A lot of people don't even do that.
Most people are like you. they focus on what's wrong. Such perfectionism is unhealthy.
Alonewith2cats
Well-known member
When they do invite you, you don't go but now they don't invite you anymore? Could this be the reason why?
I read a little bit about loneliness to help myself and the thing about it is when we're lonely then by nature we want people to reach out to us and feed us but this actually scares people off. People find it unattractive. They feel like we're going to eat them alive if we do that. Instead we have to reach out to people and feed them. And we may have to be the initiators more often than we think. Can you call those few friends of yours and invite them for a change? Maybe have a movie night or a potluck?
If you're comfortable with being lonely nothing will change. Get uncomfortable.
This is not a permanent solution to loneliness but it's a step in the right direction. One thing I did when I became newly single and and newly living by myself is throw parties. I hosted 2 halloween parties and 1 spaghetti and games party. Halloween parties are a lot of work and those required help from my friends. But what you can do by yourself is a spaghetti and games party. If you know how to make spaghetti and meatballs do it, get a nice bottle of wine too and don't forget some nice music, along with that have a Scrabble, Yahtzee or whatever board game you have and invite a minimum of 2 people over. You'll probably have a blast even though it's only for one night. In fact, this is your homework assignment. And if you can't cook you can order a pizza.
I read a little bit about loneliness to help myself and the thing about it is when we're lonely then by nature we want people to reach out to us and feed us but this actually scares people off. People find it unattractive. They feel like we're going to eat them alive if we do that. Instead we have to reach out to people and feed them. And we may have to be the initiators more often than we think. Can you call those few friends of yours and invite them for a change? Maybe have a movie night or a potluck?
5pt7art said:
If you're comfortable with being lonely nothing will change. Get uncomfortable.
This is not a permanent solution to loneliness but it's a step in the right direction. One thing I did when I became newly single and and newly living by myself is throw parties. I hosted 2 halloween parties and 1 spaghetti and games party. Halloween parties are a lot of work and those required help from my friends. But what you can do by yourself is a spaghetti and games party. If you know how to make spaghetti and meatballs do it, get a nice bottle of wine too and don't forget some nice music, along with that have a Scrabble, Yahtzee or whatever board game you have and invite a minimum of 2 people over. You'll probably have a blast even though it's only for one night. In fact, this is your homework assignment. And if you can't cook you can order a pizza.
A while back you made this thread.
http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-i-dont-get-it
Maybe that has something to do with your reluctance to go out. Right now if a friend asked me if I wanted to go out somewhere I'd jump at the chance. It's better than sitting alone feeling like no one cares.
http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-i-dont-get-it
Maybe that has something to do with your reluctance to go out. Right now if a friend asked me if I wanted to go out somewhere I'd jump at the chance. It's better than sitting alone feeling like no one cares.
W
WallflowerGirl83
Guest
I seem to be the same way. I've actually been distancing myself cause I get scared of being hurt again and than when they start to fade away I beat myself up about it. Now I'm starting to scare myself cause I feel as if I continue to do this I fear I might have an emotional break down again. Not sure what to say cause I'm stuck in a rut myself due to depression but I'm still trying and doing anything I can to help myself. Don't give up, things may be bad but I still believe that I'll get better.
P
perfanoff
Guest
You're depressed man. The problem with depression is that it's a vicious loop. You need double the effort to get out of the gutter. Don't forget to shave, do your regular laundry, look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate yourself. Read some texts on the internet about positive attitude. Charge yourself with the spark and it will work for you.
P
perfanoff
Guest
Of course it does. Everyone has their highs and lows.. maybe the point of life is to make the highs last longer and to get out of the gutter faster when you do end up there..
M
Moe'sTavern
Guest
I don't get invited anywhere since I really don't have anyone to hang out with. You get used to it after awhile.
Misanthrope23
Well-known member
5pt7art said:
i don't even have friends maybe one or two. and the other handful live too far away.
i have like one good freind but he works out of the state and comes and goes...my other freind that asked me to be his best man in his wedding never even calls me or texts and when i try to get in contact he never replies back...i understand the whole getting married thing might be stressful, but you would think he would atleast get in contact with the "best man"....makes me rethink if i want to do it or notMisanthrope23 said:
