Which is the better option? To have loved and lost or to have never loved?

[Naleena]

I hate to point it out, but I have realized that unless you outlive everyone who you do love, you will loose them and suffer loss. You can lose people without breaking up. As you get older and older, it's part of life for your friends and family to die off. The worst is losing a child. I had a poor lady cry as she spoke about her son that past away two years ago. She said,"It never leaves you, it never leaves." This is life on life's terms. Love while you can. Don't be afraid of pain because one day everyone of us will experience it. To me, there isn't such a thing as love without loss. Whether it's by a breakup, death, or dementia- it will come to your door. Everything is temporary.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

I hate to point it out, but I have realized that unless you outlive everyone who you do love, you will loose them and suffer loss. You can lose people without breaking up. As you get older and older, it's part of life for your friends and family to die off. The worst is losing a child. I had a poor lady cry as she spoke about her son that past away two years ago. She said,"It never leaves you, it never leaves." This is life on life's terms. Love while you can. Don't be afraid of pain because one day everyone of us will experience it. To me, there isn't such a thing as love without loss. Whether it's by a breakup, death, or dementia- it will come to your door. Everything is temporary.

well written. i agree.

 

[Regret]

Never, definitely never.
I'd do anything to end this tormenting pain that I feel all the time.
I had a little taste of gold......and then it was gone and I've wanted it back so badly for so long now. Even after she's broken my heart twice......ugh.

Knowing what should have been, what I could have had, and the searing pain of missing her every second of every day and now knowing everything isn't enough for her.....yeah, I'd rather she never spoken to me and that i never fell in love with her.

 

[Scott]

Never, definitely never.
I'd do anything to end this tormenting pain that I feel all the time.
I had a little taste of gold......and then it was gone and I've wanted it back so badly for so long now. Even after she's broken my heart twice......ugh.

Knowing what should have been, what I could have had, and the searing pain of missing her every second of every day and now knowing everything isn't enough for her.....yeah, I'd rather she never spoken to me and that i never fell in love with her.

Down to the last character. If only I didn't know I wouldn't also know the pain and the longing.

 

[Ridin Solo]

Wow, JoeVegas and Regret nailed it... the girl I "loved" was really just an acquaintance that I thought wanted to be more... in addition to the "lost" part comes the pain of never being given a chance. It sucks... I understand about the pain that comes from dreaming. I thought I had already gotten over her... then I had to dream about her last night. I woke up and all the pain came flooding back like it never left... something about that type of dream that makes the particular person seem so special. It's difficult to shake off... then I try to remind myself that she is the cause of my grief, and my depiction of her only exists in fantasy... that never gets me too far, though.

Still, I'd rather feel this pain and be motivated to erase it by pursuing the love of another, than never trying... I'd never forgive myself if I stopped trying.

 

[deliveryguy.]

ive neved loved, but that def. sucks - so it's gotta be the first one

 

[Punisher]

They both suck.

To have loved and lost = You miss it. To have never loved = You want it.

 

[Hijacc]

Never, because if you never had then you won't miss it as much. You'll desire it oh yes.. you'll desire it but you will NEED it once it has come.

 

[Remedy]

Since I have never loved or been loved by anyone I would have to go with the first one. Although I do agree with the last few posters that they both suck because either way you'll feel depressed because of either one .

 

[roundasapenguin]

Before I loved, I've always wondered what it would be to feel that spell binding feeling of affection for someone that makes you wanna move mountains etc etc etc.

Over the years, I mistook 'infatuation' for love until I met the man who's very presence in my life showed me the difference.

I loved. He never loved me back. I don't know...does that even count as having loved and lost?

But y'know what - I've got no regrets. Yeah, accepting that he doesn't feel the same and all that was hell. There were endless nights of tears, being in denial, and all that crazy stuff you'd go through in a phase like that.

In the end, I've come to realised that like it or not, no matter how many buckets of tears you fill up, the day will past. Tomorrow will come. And where at one time I thought I'd never recover from the hurt, 10 years later, I dare say I'm proud to have made it this far. And as I turn back to reminisce upon what I went through at that stage - I dare say, I would've still chosen to love and lost.

To have never loved would've left me feeling nothing but like an empty shell. What could've been worse than to have loved and lost .... is the agony of never knowing what love is.

 

[Pasha Selim]

If you have been able to love once, you will be able to do it again.
I think it's all about loving this poor soul of you and give a meaning to your life.

 

[Haz]

Yeah, there will be pain no matter what I imagine.

I've never had a mutual love with someone in person. I've only ever developed intimate relationships with women online, and it has always ended up in tears. The limited communication and distance is stifling, and when we talk on the telephone I just feel such an aching in my heart for this person i've spent so much time pouring my heart out to and offering myself as a friend esp. when times get tough for one another and we start licking others wounds, it seems to be something profoundly beautiful.

This heartache is overwhelming at times, but I know no matter where I am in life there would be similar challenges to overcome.

 

[squeakycheeks]

Have never loved

 

[DrMorlenheim]

I definitely think i's better to have loved and lost. At least then you can say you've experienced the feelings of love and are not completely ignorant about it.

But then again, I'm such a sensitive, fragile character I sometimes think I'd never be able to handle a split from someone I loved. I don't know. It's one of those chicken/egg scenarios I guess.

The absolute worst condition of all is to have:

Never been loved at all.

In my years of studying Male Loneliness Syndrome, quite a few males admitted to having never been with a woman because of constant rejection, and having given up at trying.

The hopelessness of these men ( the ones that give up ) is nothing short of amazing compared to traditionally horrific feelings that are associated with, say, losing a loved one, losing a child, a long trm relationship dissolution, etc.

Suicide rates are observed to be quite high for people in these situations, that should tell you about the intensity of it.

A lot of the trouble is men lack the social network to deal with the issues, unlike women.

Dr. Morlenheim

 

[meaningful]

Definitely to have loved and lost.

I don't care how much it's hurting me, it's something that's so very special and beautiful and fundamentally a part of what I am.

It's genuine and it's precious to me and it would be a horrible crime to throw it away.

 

[DrMorlenheim]

Short story:

"Jill" says: " I don't know how I can cope with losing the love of my life".

"Jack" says: "Hey, well at least you were loved, you know you can be loved, and perhaps one day you will be reunited with your love".

"Jill" says: "But I feel so lonely now"

"Jack" remains silent, knowing now is spoken in present tense, as opposed to past, present, and future.

Dr. Morlenheim