Who here suffers from social phobia?

[CrazieCute]

I suffer from major social anxiety and am curious how many other people on here do too.

I'm shy to a fault and find it really hard to let my guard down and let people in, are you like that?

How does it affect your friendships and relationships?

What things do you not do because of your social anxiety?

And out of curiosity, who would you be if you could be someone else for a day *crosses fingers* pls don't say Paris Hilton or Ryan Seacrest!

 

[sadface]

I have social anxiety, hii...=)

Also, i can maybe understand wanting to be Paris Hilton, just because of how effin' rich she is.

But Ryan Seacrest?

WTF..

 

[Emmy]

I'm shy too, a lil bit, i won't often start conversation or anything and am recluse as heck. But i do the opposite to what you do, i let people in but i overdo it, as opposed to not letting me guard down i keep it down all day long because i'm pretty desperate for happiness. But social phobia makes me bit vulnerable, let people get too close too quickly then they go ahead & leave and cos i depended so much on them i revert back to lonelyville population moi.

Means i stick to myself and never make contact with many people, live a life with my head down pretending i'm listening to music and ignore the world ^^

Kinda one of these people that has given in & accepted that 7 billion people can't all be happy and that i'm among the many whom won't be feeling that.

Dunno who i'd wanna be for a day (i concur the 'Ryan Seacrest.. WTF') dunno, Leona Lewis, strange answer i know but i love her voice & singing is the only thing that can raise a smile outta me.. if was her, i could just sing constantly & by default be constantly happy as a result.

I'm cheery today huh =/, lols

 

[Jesse]

I have pretty bad social phobia. It effects me pretty badly in a lot of ways. When I'm around people I know feel disconnected from them (except for a minor few). Here's an example-

The other day at work 3rd shift came in. I work 2nd shift and it was shift change time. 3rd shift all went into the lunch room (3rd shift is 4 women about my age). It was time for me to leave and I needed to put my things in my locker which is right in front of the break-room window. I also had to put my productivity paper for the day in the boss's tray and to do that I'd have to go past the break-room door. I was so anxious about them seeing me that I just hid my things in a drawer in a desk and quietly sneaked out the door.

Unless I have a reason to talk to someone I pretty much don't. The whole speak unless spoken to type thing. Social phobia keeps me from speaking to women and people in general. This makes it hard to make friends or date... and dating.... that's especially tough.

Oh and if I had to be someone for a day, it'd probably be Johnny Depp.

 

[JamaisVu]

I used to have bad social anxiety, to the point where sometimes I would refuse to even go to the grocery store or make phone calls. Over time I mostly got over it but still have minor social anxiety. It's one of the reasons I don't actively try to make friends. I don't think I've ever approached anyone out of the blue or said anything casually to a stranger in my entire life (unless I need to get a sales clerk's attention or that sort of thing). I wait for other people to make the first move. I am not at all comfortable in a group of people, I'm very quiet unless someone talks to me first. It has no effect on my relationship but it's not conducive to making friends and sometimes it makes normal everyday activities stressful.

If I could be someone else for a day, I'd be…Lily Cole.

 

[edgecrusher]

i kind of do. i dont let people get close to me often. i am also uncomfortable in large groups of people i dont know. i also never really start conversations with people i dont really know.

 

[ShybutHi]

I used to have bad social anxiety, to the point where sometimes I would refuse to even go to the grocery store or make phone calls.

i kind of do. i dont let people get close to me often. i am also uncomfortable in large groups of people i dont know. i also never really start conversations with people i dont really know.

I can relate to both of you, that is just what i am like too... getting better though thankfully.

 

[CrazieCute]

Hi Sadface and Emmy! I agree.. Ryan Seacrest? WTF was I thinking? don't ask me.. his face haunts my dreams

Jesse, I can relate to your work experience. I quit my last job after two days because I was afraid of having to speak to co workers.

Jamaisvu, kudos on having your social anxiety lessen over time I agree.. making friends is so hard!! Wouldn't it be nice to be psychic? Then you would know who's going to be your friend, and it would save a lot of trouble

Edgecrusher, the worst are waiting rooms..

Hi Shybuthi, I hate talking on the phone because you have to talk glad you're doing better.

 

[Sean]

Yeah I do get kind of shy in large groups,
I usually feel more comfortable around guys than girls,
The prettier the girl, the more uncomfortable I am lol .

Although I get along REALLY well with people older than me,

 

[ShybutHi]

Hi Shybuthi, I hate talking on the phone because you have to talk glad you're doing better.

I say im getting better but very slowly... i dont think i will ever get over it completely. I find it impossible to speak in groups still especially if theres people i dont know anyway. Arrrgggghhhh its so aggrivating! i dont want to be that way anymore. Its more than just not talking, its overanalysing the situation so much that i cant think of what to say and thinking whatever i say will be retarded anyway, so i dont say anything.

 

[QuietGuy]

CrazieCute, I have a question for you, hope you don't mind me asking...

I find it interesting that, on the one hand you suffer from major social anxiety:

I'm shy to a fault and find it really hard to let my guard down and let people in

I quit my last job after two days because I was afraid of having to speak to co workers. [...] Edgecrusher, the worst are waiting rooms.. [...] I hate talking on the phone because you have to talk

but on the other hand you're really confident sexually, including friends with benefits, as you mentioned in another thread:

When I'm single I have sex with my best guy friend as friends with benefits.

As for myself, if I'm horny I have sex and think nothing of it. Since I was a kid I've messed with both my guy and girl friends. It's just a way to have fun and spend the time. It never gets in the way of our friendship because there's no emotion involved other than sexual satisfaction.

That seems an interesting juxtaposition* to me! I would've thought, if you suffer from social anxiety, then sex would be the last thing you'd feel confident about, because it involves being so intimate with another person.

So I'm guessing your social anxiety only affects you when you're around strangers, not when you're with people you know? Or have I misunderstood you?

* Great word, hope I used it correctly

 

[CrazieCute]

I'm comfortable with my friends. I'm uncomfortable with strangers. Any other questions.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Me.

 

[johnblancardi]

I'm shy too, a lil bit, i won't often start conversation or anything and am recluse as heck. But i do the opposite to what you do, i let people in but i overdo it, as opposed to not letting me guard down i keep it down all day long because i'm pretty desperate for happiness. But social phobia makes me bit vulnerable, let people get too close too quickly then they go ahead & leave and cos i depended so much on them i revert back to lonelyville population moi.

Means i stick to myself and never make contact with many people, live a life with my head down pretending i'm listening to music and ignore the world ^^

Kinda one of these people that has given in & accepted that 7 billion people can't all be happy and that i'm among the many whom won't be feeling that.

Dunno who i'd wanna be for a day (i concur the 'Ryan Seacrest.. WTF') dunno, Leona Lewis, strange answer i know but i love her voice & singing is the only thing that can raise a smile outta me.. if was her, i could just sing constantly & by default be constantly happy as a result.

I'm cheery today huh =/, lols

I agree with Emmy , Hi Emmy and everyone , I think it's better to be open and give it a try rather than close off . If you close yourself off , you'll never experience love , caring , a warm hearted greeting . So being standooffish and keeping your distance does not help . Unfortunately people will not try to break your barrier down. It takes a very special person to want to get through to you with a caring heart. Most people will just ignore. , John

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think it's better to be open and give it a try rather than close off . If you close yourself off , you'll never experience love , caring , a warm hearted greeting . So being standooffish and keeping your distance does not help . Unfortunately people will not try to break your barrier down. It takes a very special person to want to get through to you with a caring heart. Most people will just ignore. , John

Truer words have never been spoken.

Welcome, John.

 

[SunWeb]

Yeah, you could say i am afraid of people, can trust a few. So i have lots of trouble because of it, though i had some success for short time, maybe i can do it again....

 

[EyesSetToBeFree]

I have the same problem too. I feel out of place when I'm around other people, including my family. I feel like running away to a
deserted island or something, just to be alone. I'm still working on speaking to other people, but I still like to be alone. I feel like the only way you can find yourself is to stay away from everyone for a little while.

p.s.- I'd be an astronaut, heading to the moon

 

[Knight]

I am exactly the same way.

 

[T. classic]

I have social anxiety. it's pretty tough to deal with, but I'm looking to seek help.

It results in me not being able to meet anyone new, i am relatively comfortable among my 2/3 old friends, but I can't feel comfortable among anyone I don't know. It's something that's developed over the last 2 years.

Results in me rarely socializing in a public area, which is something my friends enjoy doing (bars/clubs etc.) so I tend to miss out on that kind of stuff. I also don't go to any mixers/parties/socials at my university. i don't really think i'm missing much, other than the opportunity to find friends..

 

[beguiled]

first off, to answer your questions...

Q. I suffer from major social anxiety and am curious how many other people on here do too.
A. maybe i didn't realize it before, but i think i do too

Q. I'm shy to a fault and find it really hard to let my guard down and let people in, are you like that?
A. not so much shyness as going on past experiences that didn't go so well

Q. How does it affect your friendships and relationships?
A. friendships are few and far between (and those that exist are from a long time ago), (romantic) relationships are nonexistent

Q. What things do you not do because of your social anxiety?
A. live some life that it seems like i should be living (is that kind of getting at being someone else for a day thing?)

Q. And out of curiosity, who would you be if you could be someone else for a day *crosses fingers* pls don't say Paris Hilton or Ryan Seacrest! Big Grin
A. me having a better go of this whole life thing

so, getting to the heart of this whole thing (problem?), what does everyone think the real reason is behind it? that's to say, is it fear of rejection, fear of just being hurt, feelings of inadequacy, just seems futile, etc, so forth...?

i'm basing my (ok, i admit it) problem on experiences from past (and not so good present) relationships (as a generic all encompassing term). either it wasn't worth the effort, or it didn't go well and ended up doing (way) more damage than good. i've gotten to the point where i don't put in any effort at all anymore and, moreover, almost don't even desire to find the will to put in effort. if you're like me, even getting on here and talking is actually doing pretty well (that's to say, i'm looking for the will).

i should note real quick that i'm talking about relationships, not just dealing with people in general. i know some of you have a problem with both, but i can deal with people ok as acquaintances, just not really get at all close to them personally.

so, what does everyone think about the deep underlying cause? i read that emma said "out of 7 billion people...", anymore i feel the same way though. however, i know, and she probably does too, that it's silly to feel like that you can't connect with any of them on more than a superficial "nice weather we're having today" kind of level, or that if you do connect at all that it will work out as detrimental.