Why are we like it?

[Lanlan]

Hi all, fairly new here.

Looking for advice or failing that just people who understand! My self -opinion is really low and really gets me down - I really don't like myself even though I know I have wonderful friends and family who love me and tell me I'm great and funny. I always see the worst in me, think I'm really boring, seem to destroy good things that happen to me.

I should consider myself lucky (and do) that I have lovely friends and family, no major money worries, life really isn't awful to me, yet for most of my time I am really sad, lonely, and don't like myself. If we're like this are we just self destructive? Anyone know anything I can do?

I just want to be happy but I get frustrated as I don't really know what it is I need to do to find that.

 

[Nina]

Lan lan,
You might really want this checked out with a doctor. Brain chemistry issues with seritonin levels, etc... can produce unexplainable bouts of lethargy, depression and other symptoms mentioned.

 

[Lanlan]

Thanks for the reply, Nina. I'd managed to function for a long time until I had some kind of break-down/depression, I tried the doctor who gave me prozac which did a good temporary job of making me feel more peaceful so it did jolt me out of my lathargy, and I'm back to functioning 'normally' but have just gone back to pretending I'm happy.

I feel bad as I have no real reason in my life to feel so low, I just want to tuck myself away from everyone though, and hide. I have no idea why.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Becuase we chose to, want to or conditioned to.

Happiness is an inside job.
It's not complicated. Our thoughts and feelings comes from with inside of us.
Maybe you just forgotten or got into a habit of having outside sources (people, places and things) stimulate/tirgger your thoughts and emotions.

Happiness is a state of being. Be happy then you'll do happy things.
Whatever it is that turns you on. It can be onething or it can be many things.
Music, art, literature, sex, adventure, work, relationships. Whatever it is that gets you out of bed in the morning
with a zest for life. The joy, passion and desire. It dosnt have to be what other people want.
It's what you want to express.


A spiritaul belief or concept is....that's who you are. You are happiness.
Do you know who you truely are?
In other words you don't have to seek happiness or enlightenment becuase that's who you are already.
It's you're awarness, knowingness or conciousness of who you truely are.
The things that you do (actions) are expression of you.
Learn how to sperate the performer from the performance.

You are spiritaully whole, complete and perfect already. You lack nothing.
Even though your actions arn't perfect , always correct or healthy.
The same principle applies in love...You are love.
That's the secret or the riddle.
Look inside your heart or your intuitions. You already have the answers and no one can
answer this for you. It's whatever your heart desire. It ok....you deserve it.
You also have the power to create your desires (dreams) or have them manifest.

mmmm...maybe try not to seek (wanting). Rather just accept.
In other words maybe you're in a habit of seeking (thinking process), not fullfilment.
Maybe it might make sense to you....when you get what you want ,it's not fullfilling as you thought...
that's becuase you got into the habit or became comfortiable with BEING in a state of SEEKING.
So you seek...seek...seek becuase it's habitual (whATever the outside conditions may be), You bascailly set yourself
up to be in seeking mode or make up reasons to be in seeking mode. It's a self fullfiling prophacy.
Be fulfill. Be love. Be happy.

Be proactive instead of re-active (waiting for life to come to you)

You don't need to know all the answers. It'll come to you, through your intuitions
as you're expressing your happiness (living your dreams).

 

[Lanlan]

Thank you, Lonesome Crow, a lot of things to think about there.

What I really don't get is that for most of my years I just 'was' happy. I didn't try to be, I just 'was'.

Not much has changed in my life. Now I'm just not. I'm trying to look at what's changed, and what I need to do to be happy again but I don't really know what I'm looking for.

 

[Nina]

Lonesome crow--
What a beautiful post. You're usually such a character in your writing, this gave us the chance to see how very wise and deep you are...

Lanlan--If looking inward still doesn't provide you with answers, then maybe consider speaking with someone outside of your immediate environment. Therapist, clergy, or maybe just a trusted friend to run it all past. Sometimes journaling lets you detect if there is a cyclic pattern to when you feel these emotions the most strongly. If no one is around to listen recording just yourself and playing it back may lend some insights.