Why are you alone?

[catwixen]

I hope this is not too forward for a newbie to ask, but I am seeing peoples posts and not knowing if they have social anxieties or if they are newly divorced or any other context for their isolation.

I am alone due to Agoraphobia, and have had this issue for 27yrs. I have had periods of living or being with people, but it usually got destroyed by my drug and alcohol use. The drug and alcohol use developed because of the Agoraphobia. wow viscious cycle.

Thanx if you decide to share.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

My ex-gf was a alcoholic, gambling and drug addict...she dystroyed everything.
I'm still recoverying from that. I have PTSD disorder from living with her all those
years..All kinds of chaos , dramma and insanity. I feared for her life i feared for
my life...but she dosn't give a fresia about anyone. She became pyscho *****.
Sherry is not the same person I fell in love with.
For the first 5 years of our relationship she was clean and sober. I never knew how she was as a drunk.
I founded out. She became a very self centered abussive pyshcotic drunk...
But I loved her hoping she would get well someday. Yes i endable her along the way as I've kick her out as will.
Bascailly doing everything under the sun hoping she would get well someday.
Drugs and alochol abused had dystroyed her brian. Sherry is gone. I'm have to accept that.

I tried to start another relationship with a close friend that I've known for a while.
Jenni was always there for me through all of that living hell. Jenni was a normie..
She tried to pull me away from the toxic relationship I was in with sherry.
Jenni knew everything about me...all of my hopes, dreams, secrets and fears. As I know hers.
Jenni passed away last year. And I have to accept that.
I had a total break down after jenni's death and I'm trying to recover and get well.
It is the longest time I've ever been single or alone in my entire life.

 

[Ithought]

I really want to know why am I alone :-(

 

[Jinxun]

I choose to be alone, I identify with this quote so some of you may as well

"The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been."

 

[Tramp]

I'm alone because the first girl I date in three years is confused. Bloody frustrating.

 

[Minus]

Because i am deeply flawed.
Because i am invisible.
Because people choose to not be around me.

 

[Sonic_95]

I am alone because no one else wants me.......LOL

I have tried everything from on line dating to going to local singles events (the few times they have them) but just can not get anyone's interest for whatever reason.

The only relationship I have ever been in was a girl I dated for like a month. That wqas 9 years ago. So, I'm at a disatvantage there because I have no experiance whatsoever with the whole dating thing, what to do and not do or say, and all of the little things like that.

I think my next step is going to to be Eharmony - I hear a lot of good things about that site, I guess I'll just have to break down and try it LOL

 

[Nyktimos]

I've always been alone, even though I have a good family and a girlfriend. It has more to do with not being able to feel open with people. There was one girl I did feel I connected with, but I couldn't find it in me to trust her so it all broke down. She now has a kid and is engaged or married, and I'm happy for her. One of us should be happy. I think trust issues are my biggest problem.

 

[GoingInsane]

I don't know why I am lonely, but I have learned to suck it up. I can only keep a more positive head when I don't complain about it. I'm not entirely alone, I have my family but friends and relationships with people my own age is non-existant pretty much and could remain that way for a long time. I've come to the point now where it's gone on too long, should I even care anymore? It's what's become normal in my life and whoever doesn't want to be my friend or want anything to do with me for what ever reason, is their loss not mine. Sometimes I'm happy being alone because it gives me time to think things over.

 

[Punisher]

Because i'm weird

 

[wolfshadow]

Mainly because I lack a certain type of social intellegence - I just don't know what to say to people unless I have a specific reason for talking to them. If I try to be spontanious, I know that the engagement will lead to a cold, mutual, indifference, as surely as if it were written. This annoys me because I am not instinctively a loner but when 'being yourself' automatically projects to the masses a tedious fool, there is not really anywhere else to go.
In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say there is scarcely any point in a person like me being born in the first place (I have a but shadow of my Mum's intellegence and only a few grains of my Dad's aggression) . It has occured to me that my faults have arisen in an effort for my genetic data to extinguish itself to make way for better, more functional stock because otherwise, there is no logical precident for being this way.

 

[Unacceptance]

Because it's better the lion stay caged...

 

[Spiralstorm]

Whenever I make friends, I usually wind up alone, so I just stoppeed trying to be socially active.

 

[Van Hooligan X]

girls in RL:
blind you with uglyness OR hot but taken

girls on the internet:
rarely any girls on the internet and espically none 17...well...17 and single....well....17 and single and likes me....well 17 and single and likes me and is open for Ehugs.


and thats the reason why i'm still single....if u want the reason why i am single ask my whore of an ex gf.

 

[Naleena]

I am waiting to finish school and the last one wasn't the right one for me.

 

[catwixen]

There are many reasons here for people being alone. Mostly relationship issues. I really feel connected to Lonesome Crows post. I had a friend who knew me so well, I knew him so well. We embraced the good and the bad in each other. It is very rare to have that type of friendship or relationship and I am skeptical of finding it again. My friend passed away 3 yrs ago. I have felt totally alone since then.
Being out of a relationship does not make me feel alone....but then again I am 41. It must be harder for people in their teens and 20's. The lack of connecting on a deep level with anyone....that is what makes me feel alone.
I really sincerely thankyou all for sharing. It helps me understand where people are coming from.

 

[Naleena]

I had a friend who knew me so well, I knew him so well. We embraced the good and the bad in each other. It is very rare to g it again. My friend passed away 3 yrs ago. I have felt totally alone since then.

((((((((((((((((((((((Catvixen)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that you lost your friend. It's hard when friends pass away, especially if they are close. I hope one day you will find someone else just as special. I will hold that for you.

 

[Bluey]

Because it's better the lion stay caged...

LMAO
Raw!!!

I am alone cos I can be a jerk-off to the ppl that are close to me when am hurting. Physical I mean. I have some physical problem's that I just don't deal with good sometimes. So I ended up losing some friends. Some I messed of cos they where not good. Maybe I expect to much?

I get tied faster then I should so have to come home early or stay out but not be with it. I don't work so not meeting ppl that way.

There is no one reason with me. Am not shy or bothered about talking to new ppl. Just I do kinder have a problem relating to most ppl if that makes seance. I am not one of them guys that loves easily. Where some guys seem to fall head over heals over every other girl. That must be a painful way to live having your hart brook every 2 minutes but in a lot of ways there also lucky they can feel that much for someone so fast.

 

[catwixen]

Thankyou Naleena...I feel lucky as well as sad. I realise many people never get to feel so close to another human being. People have so many defenses. It is rare for two to meet that are prepared and trusting to drop their defenses. At least I had it for a while. And I would not wish eva that it did not happen, even though pain followed.

 

[Oceanmist23]

I'm lucky as hell to have a loving family and a wonderful boyfriend in my life (in India, wish he wasn't so far away).
If I didn't have that love and support I don't know where I'd be today.
Yet, I'm lonely and alone most of the time. I go without human contact most of the time.

I grew up in a small town where "everyone knows everyone" - usually.
I think it might have started with me not going to nursery school (kindergarten) at all.
Because of that I didn't get to know my future classmates from a super early age.
When I started preschool at age 5 my other classmates (4 other kids in my class, that's how small the town is) already knew each other and also the kids in 1st grade since they had played together lots in nursery school. So they didn't know me from before, they had never heard of me.
I was also quite shy, perhaps because I didn't develop the same social skills as them by not going to nursery school, if kids that young even have social skills I mean lol.

I got kinda close with one girl in my class. She was great up until she would leave me to go play with her neighbour girl who was 1 year older... She did that through most of school, not often but when she did it certainly hurt.

I was never interested in any form of sports and most (if not all) of the other kids were. So I couldn't play with them that way either. I tried and failed cos I hated sports and failed at every game. Anyone else always picked last in gym btw? *rolls eyes* ....... great fun wasn't it.........

I got closer with another girl who was 1 year younger than me. She was really great, in fact too great.. She was such a great person that she became the most popular girl in school, and therefore made friends with everyone. Today she knows almost every person in the whole borough, so trying to maintain a proper friendship with her is hard cos she's always busy visiting people or having people visiting her..

I had a male friend since before I started preschool. We visited each other all the time. He's the reason I'm so used to using computers lol. As we grew older though it got more difficult to sustain a good friendship because we're both socially retarded towards each other lol. We never could have a normal conversation. We just sat around playing computer games all day. Now he's on my msn and he doesn't say a single word to me.

In high school maybe I could've made some friends, but then I would've had to drink and smoke like the rest of those idiots, so I chose not to.

I made zero friends in my first year in college (it's called college in Norway at age 16). Instead I got my first boyfriend at this time, via online. He lived in London. I went to see him a few times and we stayed together for 18 months.

Zero friends in my second year when I moved to another county. Zero friends third year in the same county. Got my second boyfriend at this time, him also in London. Lived with him in London for 1 1/2 years. Relationship lasted 6 years total. Made 1 new friend in London.

I've been back in Norway since the end of 2007. No friends. I have no friends to visit and no friends to visit me. If I want to go out I have no one to go with. Most of the time I'm by myself. Hearing my boyfriend's voice helps a lot though.

Within the next 1-2 months I will be moving to a new city. Really hoping to make some friends there, because I'm hoping I can make a life there, buy a house in that area in the future.

Bloody hell this was a long post lol cheers to anyone who bothered reading it all