Why can't I find someone that wants me?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

aloneforever

Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2013
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
Location
United States
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?
 
aloneforever said:
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?

Im positive there is. You just need to look for a man who shares your values.
 
EveWasFramed said:
aloneforever said:
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?

Im positive there is. You just need to look for a man who shares your values.

This. Clearly your values are very precious to you, keep hold of them and find the right man who shares them and you'll hopefully find love, :)
 
Well I think a large majority of men won't mind at all that you are a virgin, however, not wanting sex before marriage is rarer nowadays and so it may be a bit harder to find a guy who holds that same stance on sex, but it is certainly possible.
 
I'm sure that there are guys who value your virginity. Mr. Right will come when the time is right. :)
 
Thanks guys :) I can only dream at the moment for Mr. Right though because it seems to me that he doesnt want to be found right now.
 
aloneforever said:
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?
**Raises Hand** There are tons of guys out there that have the same values as you, and/or havn't had sex yet. I go to college, and while there are a lot of people that have casual sex, there are also a lot of people waiting for the right one and who havn't had sex. I honestly don't see how that would be a bad quality at all. To me, that's one of the best qualities someone could have! If guys ignore you just because they want to have sex, then I think their priorities are messed up and you probably dont want to be with them anyway!
 
aloneforever said:
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?

I'm just curious...why no sex before marriage?
 
ShybutHi said:
Well I think a large majority of men won't mind at all that you are a virgin, however, not wanting sex before marriage is rarer nowadays and so it may be a bit harder to find a guy who holds that same stance on sex, but it is certainly possible.

This. But also remember there are men who share the same views you do, so don't you give up!
 
I've already been with one that didn't wont sex until marriage(and I've said this before but I'll repeat it here). It's ok unless all forms of intimacy is restricted til marriage..
 
because it wont be as special. you see, to me, sex before marriage is just that. when i decide to "have sex" it wont be just sex to me. its making love. love is all ive ever wanted but never found.
Among the Sleep said:
aloneforever said:
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?

I'm just curious...why no sex before marriage?
 
I don't really see why it would not be as special. You can certainly love someone before you actually get married to them, so why is it that sex is more special after you are married?
Marriage is a wonderful thing but I think apart from it showing you love the person it is sort of also a social thing and a formal thing to show it to others. Love itself transcends having a ring on your finger or social status. You can love someone well before the words are said to actually tie the knot. I am someone who does not take the words "I love you" lightly though.
I think what really matters in a loving relationship is honesty. If two people have a true connection then they will always be honest and having sex with the one you love will be love-making no matter your status.

I can totally understand if someone would want to wait though. Personally I would never just jump in to bed with someone. I think that waiting until you are sure and you are in a loving relationship, that you actually both love each other mutually, is how it should be and sex will always be better, more meaningful, when love is the reason for engaging in the act.
 
you make a good point. i am willing to reconsider my view :) i understand that it is love before too...i'm not sure i ever thought about it that way. i agree when i decide to have sex it doesnt have to be before marriage...i think that my idea of love making after marriage proves he wants me and only me. if i know for sure that i am his one true love and he will stay faithful to me..i could make love before marriage...thats of course IF i ever find him. i absolutely hate being lonely
ShybutHi said:
I don't really see why it would not be as special. You can certainly love someone before you actually get married to them, so why is it that sex is more special after you are married?
I think marriage is a wonderful thing but I think that really it is actually more of a social thing as love itself transcends having a ring on your finger or social status. You can love someone well before the words are said to actually tie the knot.
I think what really matters in a loving relationship is honesty. If two people have a true connection then they will always be honest and having sex with the one you love will be love-making no matter your status.
 
Keep holding on to that and you'll find the right person who will love you for who you are. It'll mean a lot more when you find that special someone. I wish I would have waited but I made a mistake. But we all learn mistakes, trust me being a virgin at your age is not a horrible thing. I admire you for being who you are. Please don't change okay? =)
 
i promise to be who i am forever :) thanks :D
WallflowerGirl83 said:
Keep holding on to that and you'll find the right person who will love you for who you are. It'll mean a lot more when you find that special someone. I wish I would have waited but I made a mistake. But we all learn mistakes, trust me being a virgin at your age is not a horrible thing. I admire you for being who you are. Please don't change okay? =)
 
aloneforever said:
Once men have figured out that I am a virgin, they don't want me. Why is that? Is there any guy out there that wants an 18 year old virgin that understands that I don't want sex until marriage? Is it possible for anybody to love me?
It wouldn't put me off, in fact I find it admirable. My friend who's 19 holds similar values so he stands out from the crowds a bit. You'll meet the right guy in no time I'm sure.
 
aloneforever said:
Is it possible for anybody to love me?

Course it is :D

18 is not even a "late" stage of being a virgin, either. Not IMO, anyway.

I know a lot of people who've said they regret losing theirs earlier than that sort of age, for some reason society enforces this shallow opinion through mass media and the like that it's "wrong" to save your virginity for someone special.

It's all a load of nonsense, and basically people who go on about losing their virginity earlier than others and all that kind of thing usually tend to be the most insecure or shallow out there.

Personally I'd find it attractive for a girl to be a virgin. I'd far rather be with a girl who was a virgin and wanted to take things slowly than a girl who's been with 20 guys and just wants to "conquer" me so she can gossip to her friends :)

I'm sure other guys with strong personal values would also see your self-restraint as an admirable quality, too.
 
Virginity is a tough thing to look at...

A virgin can be seen as someone dedicated to giving their all to someone that they cherish and will cherish them back. It can be seen as someone that is serious about relationships and love.
Someone that has had sex before could very well be someone that see's sex as something casual OR they can simply be someone that trusted once, or twice, or thrice and was betrayed. Now no longer a virgin they are seen as "dirtied". However, that is not the case. So while many of us think virginity as a pure/dirty label, it is really about feelings and commitment.

Why wait till after marriage? Because who gets married just to divorce? Divorce is a tedious process and sometimes expensive even at its cheapest. So if wait till you marry, you can most of the time trust them. Afterall, every relationship is about trust.

aloneforever, stick to your principles and ideals. Continue to wait till marriage to make love (not "sex"). The right man won't mind the wait one bit. Toss that virginity label away. It's your commitment and dedication that counts.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top