Why Do I Still Feel Lonely?

[Xaldin]

Hey, I'm Xaldin. I don't understand why sometimes I can't help lying in bed and rolling around feeling like I'll never be consolable. I cry nearly constantly and my LDR girlfriend is getting really sad about it (we've been together for 7 months). I'm meeting my psychiatrist on next Tuesday but I don't even know what's wrong with me. I have anxiety problems and obviously I'm depressed but I can't help feeling that something more is wrong.... Like I'm a fundamentally incorrect human being. Like everyone else is better than me. I can't help feeling how I do and then I go and chase everyone off because I don't want to bring them down with me which only causes me to feel more alone... Anyone out there who understands?

 

[whispers]

Ya i understand, depression is hard. From what you describe, you are right in it...the point where it is obvious we need help. I also feel like there is something fundamentaly wrong with me, my therapist said 90% of his patients feel like that too. I'm glad you are seeing someone soon, let me know how it goes. Until then hang on, there is light at the end of the tunnel, if you look for it.
Hugs

 

[durantula35]

Hey, I'm Xaldin. I don't understand why sometimes I can't help lying in bed and rolling around feeling like I'll never be consolable. I cry nearly constantly and my LDR girlfriend is getting really sad about it (we've been together for 7 months). I'm meeting my psychiatrist on next Tuesday but I don't even know what's wrong with me. I have anxiety problems and obviously I'm depressed but I can't help feeling that something more is wrong.... Like I'm a fundamentally incorrect human being. Like everyone else is better than me. I can't help feeling how I do and then I go and chase everyone off because I don't want to bring them down with me which only causes me to feel more alone... Anyone out there who understands?

Have you felt this way when you were a kid? Did you have to go out of your way to fit in with the crowd or get others' (maybe your parents' or siblings') attention?

 

[Xaldin]

whispers: good to know i'm not the only one. Thanks for understanding. and yeah i'm holdin on.
durantula: yes. and i've always been talented with lying. old friends barely ever knew me and once they did, they left. new friends are to come by and i never get deep connections. like 2 ppl who know me can stand me and one of them's my mom.

 

[SophiaGrace]

might be major depression

 

[durantula35]

whispers: good to know i'm not the only one. Thanks for understanding. and yeah i'm holdin on.
durantula: yes. and i've always been talented with lying. old friends barely ever knew me and once they did, they left. new friends are to come by and i never get deep connections. like 2 ppl who know me can stand me and one of them's my mom.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think it is about you that you have to lie about?

 

[Ak5]

might be major depression

Agreed.

 

[Xaldin]

AK5 & Sophia:hmmm... yeah. could be...
durantula: everything. i am who i am but i'm ashamed of everything i am v_v i feel like if someone knew me then they're in the unique position to agree with me and then....what's the point? but if i put on a palatable person to know people then they can like me but not know how screwed up i am...

 

[durantula35]

you say you think that there's something wrong with you. can you be specific and give a few examples? your posts make it sound as if you think you have to hide who you are, but the situation isn't that bad. to answer your question, why am I still lonely?, you have to know realistically what others think of you versus what you think of yourself.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe others wouldn't see you as you see yourself. Sometimes we can have distorted views of ourselves...