Why Does She Cuddle With Me?

[AFrozenSoul]

So some of you know I recently lost someone I really cared about to a word. Anyway, we still hang out as friends. Problem is that if we are watching anime or movies I find myself cuddling with her. She will lean up against me. Shortly there after I will put my arm around her she will do the say. In many ways it feels like we are still together. Sometimes she signals she is looking for a kiss. This past weekend she let me rest my hand between her legs, not "on her" but very close.

So I am confused is what I am going to say. She has a boyfriend, she is supposed to be getting this from him. Yet when she is around me she still gives it to me. I know this is inappropriate behavior, however, I just cannot help but cuddle with her. I like her so much. Is she just playing with me...? Or could there be something more?

 

[evanescencefan91]

hmm well it seems she still likes you and may still have some lingering feeligns left for you

why did you guys break up?

Just say I enjoy cuddling with you, but you are sending me mixed messages, and I also don't want to hurt your boyfriends feelings.

Can you tell me what's going on and what you are feeling?

 

[mintymint]

I think it's either because she's being selfish, or has no sense of boundaries. Maybe both.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@evanescencefan91: Well technically we were never together. I never gave her the title of boyfriend. At the same time I was her boyfriend, I gave her all the benefits. I just never openly acknowledged it. YEah I know I am a scum bag... I would rather not discuss why out here. If you REALLY want to know PM me. So we were never officially together.

She told me once that she has feelings for me. She even tells me that she wonders how things would have turned out if she had given me one last chance to be her boyfriend. Maybe I am taking things a little too seriously, however, she always seems to really enjoy being around me. If I make a joke she laughs, if we play games she smiles and laughs. When she leaves at the end of the night she tells me how great of a time she had.

I do enjoy the cuddling, at the same time I hate it... all it does is plant false hope in my heart that she will leave this guy the next day or that her passion for me would be reignited. When that does not happen it hurts bad.

I am not sure exactly what you want to know about what is going on.

As for what I am feeling. I am feeling an intense hurt and betrayal. At the same time I feel an intense joy that she wants me around still. I hurt when she is not around, I am lucky if I get to see her once every couple of weeks. When I talk to her... once or twice a week it is the top of my week... again I am not exactly sure what you mean by feelings. She sends me lots of mixed messages so I am very confused.

 

[Badjedidude]

Listen to what minty said. I think he's on the mark here.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yes it feels more and more like what minty says everyday. Then sometimes my mind resets itself. I guess I need to kill hope of her ever coming back to me.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, if she does it to him, she'll do it to you. Think about it, she's all over you still while being with this other guy. Doesn't say much about her in my opinion. I'd have to agree with Minty as well.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@VanillaCreme: I know I know... it is just that optimism and hope that I always have that she and I will be together. It rears its ugly head at the worst times.

 

[Luna]

Perhaps she's just wanting an ego-boost.
I know lots of chicks that do that...and they have everyone's hearts.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yeah being able to use men is a great ego boost for women. Granted her ego seems to be the same as it always was.

 

[AlonelyCrumpet]

Dude takes it slow...................she still sounds like she loves you and needs you in her life...............dont blow it by rushing into anything............girls need time to see if your heart is really there for them.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I guess the question is how much time will it take. I don't want to be running around for the next year chasing someone who only wants me as backup.

 

[MovingForward]

I disagree with the "wait and see" position. You need to address the problem directly when it happens again. I hate to be a dick, but it doesn't sound like she is coming back, at least not to you exclusively. A real friend (let alone a lover) is one you can have the uncomfortable conversations with. Who knows, she MAY not even realize she's doing it.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yeah I know those feelings run around in my heart as well. I am trying to address it... however part of me does not want too. Part of me wants to believe that she is using me so she can cheat on her boyfriend to get out of a relationship with him. Then again she will do the same to me

I am just so confused by how much I like her.