why is every nasty to me?

[michaeljackson]

Hi all, ever since primary school ive always been excluded by everyone, high school was worse college was dreadful im now 19 and both my parents hate me, i have no freinds and have never had a girlfriend.

so the only person who i could trust was my mum and this morning she really layed in to me and said some really hurtful things i close to killing myself and sat and thought about it for a long time crying and just thought its not worth doing it to myself.


I dunno why everyone hates me i feel crap


just needed to release my problems somewhere

 

[viviana]

hey i was gonna say change your name and maybe they will. but its no laughing matter dude
welcome here, MIke
i am sure we will all love you here
i am just not a big fan of the star.

 

[heretostay]

what did your mom say to you?

 

[deirdre]

I dunno what your mom said, but maybe she is incapable of wise counsel...let's face it, some parents should never have been parents and then there you are, stuck with no support system..... maybe she is a total washout as a mother, has no clue, you say both your parents hate you.... maybe they are both total narcissistic twits with their own overriding problems, even mental problems, or worse yet, alcohol or drug problems, people who aren't functioning all that well, do you know? Can you know? Sometimes it is really obvious, they are hung over, have empty meaningless lives, meaningless jobs, dead ends loom everywhere in their lives..... sometimes you don't know what demons your own parents are struggling with...it looks like they hate you, feels like they hate you...maybe they are just so screwed up themselves, they just can't be present for you...much less themselves. it's hard to say, don't know you or them....

But say you are right, they just hate you....so. You got the rotten apples in the barrel of parents...so whatchya gonna do? Keep whining? You go out and find a surrogate mom or dad. TALK to another adult.... every campus has counsellors. advisors. sometimes even peer advocates. you sound like you are in the British Isles somewhere.... no support groups on your side of the sea? I mean, it is hard when I don't know the exact circumstances and if you truly do have abusive and maybe terribly mentally sick or drug addicted parents.....but if you do have that kind of parent, there are support groups for people who have to live with or cope with people in their lives who have serious problems..... YOu have get help for yourself and have to have the courage to step out of your insular little box where you are drowning, albeit justly, in self pity. You are 19 for goodness sakes, start taking your life by the horns what say??? You have to realize at some point that even though you didn't luck out with parents who would cherish and value you....then you got to try to learn how to cherish and value yourself. Who else can do it but you? I had to learn this lesson the hard way too...took me until I was in my fifties that I finally learned, yeah, sucked, sucked big time that my mother was a mentally ill person who was a vicious, violent, twisted person, who beat me senseless and locked me in a closet, kicked me physically and emotionally to the point I was dust, shadow, nothing. And then I marry a man who did all that and worse, broken bones, shattered both my eardrums from the force of blows raining down on my head, So I had to learn to mother myself. Be kinder to myself. Be good to me, pet myself and give myself kudos for every little small victory I could manage.

I think you will serve yourself well by getting counselling, getting someone who can help you overhaul your image of yourself and identity as a victim...and help you become more proactive in doing the work needed to change the misery you are in. It is all well and good to come here and want support and kindness and cyber hugs, but at some point, you actually have to start doing the hard work. I hope you find the strength and courage to get the right people involved in your life to help you turn it around.

 

[samba101]

Sorry life has been hard for you.

 

[woundedbird]

I echo what Samba says. I feel bad for you

 

[coricopat]

Venting is good

Sorry things are so sucky for you right now. Hang in there.

 

[eleven]

Hi all, ever since primary school ive always been excluded by everyone, high school was worse college was dreadful im now 19 and both my parents hate me, i have no freinds and have never had a girlfriend.

so the only person who i could trust was my mum and this morning she really layed in to me and said some really hurtful things i close to killing myself and sat and thought about it for a long time crying and just thought its not worth doing it to myself.


I dunno why everyone hates me i feel crap


just needed to release my problems somewhere

You would have to figure out what the underlying cause is for the reason so many people dislike you.

Perhaps you give off a vibe that people dont like. You would almost give off a pheromone that perhaps people would interpret wrong. Maybe by just taking one simple step a day you could slowly increase peoples faith in you. People are simply naturally reacting to the way you present yourself in a negative way. Its really no ones fault nature just dealt you those cards but its nothing you cant learn from. Some people are just naturally different than other average people. just a bit off to everyone else around you in over all physiological appearance.

If you were really one of these 'off' individuals social rejection would happen most of the time in most social situations. However people with this natural deficiency of 'likeness of others' would also have incredibly strong coping mechanisms mostly of the psychological variety. One would think that constant social rejection would lead to sadness but also anger and if it happened enough times in a row with out rewarding stimulus-es would become detrimental to the individual. This is true but however if a true 'off' person this was would also naturally best defenses when dealing with these stimuluses.

I understand what you mean completely i have been always treated the same way. Im 'odd' I admit it but its just something ive learned to deal with. My amount of friends is very small but along with a loving immediate family for the most part I learn to make do. No girlfriend for me or anything around that idea ever in my life yet and with current trends probably more likely not to happen at all. However through my true differences I have from the average population I have learned to learn more from just about all of it. I really do ultimately like the people that im around even though they really dont like me all that much. I dont mean they hate me but that they do in a sense accept me socially but only to a certain level. Girls wouldn't avoid me they would talk to me but certain things almost always be by default off limits for me - any form of romantic anything. Almost all certain aspects of anyone's behavior would be in a way restricted for me. Im by some sort of natural biological default almost completely incompatible with most people of the general populace. These are all actions of nature there really is nothing you can do about it.

You must accept who you truly are and build from there. In terms of a natural lover even for you yes its possible but about a 1 in 3.5 billion chance. Believe it or not natural chance dictates there is always one other like you on the planet at any time you are there as well. Your soul mate exists just like everyone elses in life but with a needle in a haystack chance of finding them amongst the population in the mean time you would need more years than you could live to directly examine everyone on this planet fast enough before you died of old age. This person you seek could be right next to you or half way across the world in another country so you see an impossible chance to find them.

In the meantime prey and meditate and take some sort of aphrodisiac - a natural substance that naturally relaxed you for a while. Not all of us were meant for others in certain ways - to truly never be in any state of being loved the mind would begin loosing itself - very dangerous for average people - phsycologacly affect them but also physically body might even begin shutting down if left for to long. socially annexed individuals would have a natural defense for this though. Nature not only made you different but also super resilient after so many negative stimuluses from people. Almost like people got the most joy out of making you suffer. They would toy with your ideals using wagers of a social nature - limit or increase their social interaction with you depending on your reactions. Keep in mind this is really the only way a average person would be capable of accepting you if you were like i said truly 'odd'. Feels like your emotional heart is being stabbed the slight dull ache in your chest when you think about something sad to yourself. Regardless of stimulus 'odd' people would have to keep as much of themselves together (continue to be accepting regardless of what people do to you). You know if someone is trying to toy with you again for their own pleasure so basically go all in with a pen and paper and take as many notes as you can remember everything the person does and says to you. Mostly read their eyes completely regardless of what they do to get a full feal for them as a person. Once you have observed them completely recall any of their past needs and desires they have told you about verbally and even also by you further analysing their eyes. You will become entrenched in their own mind once you can pretty much start thinking like them even when they arent in your presence. Figuring out people better than they know themselves is annoying it produces a lot of thoughts/ideas i dont like having - 'i dont want to know what you did yesterday when the kids werent home'. How can you hold animosity towards an individual for not being in complete control of themselves when it comes to dealing with you. If someone just doesnt have that ability in them to not be predictable for the most archaic of reasons there really is nothing about that idea should even generate any sort of emotional response other than the longing to help these said people who you originally thought you didnt like because they were naturally mean to you but only for natural reasons.

I take everyone these days with a grain of salt i just look at them dead in the face when i talk to them. I could care less what your saying more like what are your eyes doing you know the organs in the body that tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth over and over again as many times as you wanna here it. If someone says a sentence out loud remember it but at the same time remember everything about their physical self at the time they said it. I generally only look people dead in the face when i talk to them if i want to know the straight answer about something but not all the time if i didnt want to know it. I would sometimes just go on vocals alone which to me are about as accurate to what a person actually thinks as a 100 degree day in December. I never say what i truly think when i verbally talk out loud never ever. If someone heard verbatim what i thought about their eyes would pop out so usually i only hint at as many bits and pieces as i can but thats it.

There are things i need and want but not all them are the same. I 'may' always be by myself for multiple reasons including any interactions that would make me overly happy by others. I know for a fact that there is a very strong chance that i will be lonely for the rest of my life without even a let up. I ultimately think of it if anything as just something more i can learn from and continue to grow as an individual.

I do believe a lot is possible but only so much is actually probable. I hope for the best prepare for the worst always.