Will never get there...ever

[Snickers]

Few years ago, when I found out that two of this particular classmate went to a local uni, I didn't care and thought, 'well, good for them'.

Then fate let me came across a guy that I used to like, attending the same local uni and suddenly I felt like a total loser for no reason...

In another thread, I said that he fell for another girl already in his uni.

But anyways, I went for a job interview just now and the route I was taking was passing by many of these local uni's and I became really depressed and even thought of hiding away from the world forever just because I would never get the chance to get in one anyways.

I actually wanted to discuss with my dad how I didn't want to work or go out ever again.

I mean...why, an underachiever like me, be able to do anything??? I am not good at academics and I don't know what's the purpose if everyone is looking up at those that obtained and won many achievements from school.

I don't have much friends too and one of my friend, who is also an underachiever is a recluse right now. I don't know if I want to be a recluse since my family isn't well-off and I can't be asking them to feed me forever.

But I feel like a total loser stepping out of society since everyone around me is an overachiever and it seems that these people are much favored in society.

I don't want to work in retail forever or any manual labour jobs. I am schooling at the moment but I hate it since I don't want to be in this place anyways...

I feel so lost at the moment...

 

[Naleena]

((((((((((Snickers))))))))))) I'm sorry your having such a tough day.
Is there anything that you love to do or are passionate about?
Maybe thats where your answer is where a living goes. As far as being good in school, some people do have to work harder than others. I wonder if your giving yourself enough credit?
Anyway, I hope you get to feeling better and figure out what it is that you want.

 

[coricopat]

Do you not like school, or are you bad at it? That can make a big difference in whether or not you should be in school. And don't knock manual labor or retail. There are some great jobs to be had there; a person doesn't have to have a degree to land a good job. I'm assuming your British, and I don't know how schooling works there, but here in the US a bachelor's degree is almost useless. Have you actually failed at what you want to do, or do you just not know what you might like to do?

 

[Coverage]

a person doesn't have to have a degree to land a good job.

a bachelor's degree is almost useless.

A bachelors degree is far from useless. It of course depends on what field you get it in. There are some fields where even a masters will not net you a very good job. Having a bachelors degree and some slight experience in a needed area can grant you a significant advantage over someone without a degree.

Plus getting a bachelors puts you in a position to further your education at a later time if you choose.

 

[h i]

I don't want to work in retail forever or any manual labour jobs. I am schooling at the moment but I hate it since I don't want to be in this place anyways...

so youre working, and going to school?

 

[coricopat]

Plus getting a bachelors puts you in a position to further your education at a later time if you choose.

That right there is the main reason to get your Bachelor's.

 

[Snickers]

Ok, I try to answer questions one at a time.

First of all, I came from Singapore, where paper chase is necessary in this competitive "first world country". I have people that are willing to get through a normal local college diploma for 3-5 years, just because it is recognized locally. Of course there are short college diplomas, but it depends on the major...like if it's psychology, law or science, obviously you have to go to a local college or uni to be certified. You can't get into a private one..there are good as useless.

I don't know if i'm bad at studying but I do get A's for my school and I am the top student there but our standard is really low because it's a private school, where failure rates are much much more common than a local one.

And yes, i'm studying and working at the same time and it's just so hard but I needed the funds to fund my private schooling as it is much more expensive than a local one.

I can never get into a local university because it was a chance and only one chance to pave your own way when you are in high school and I graduated with incorrigible results because I lose interest in academics and because I was too depressed to study. I went into a 3 year recluse right after that.

Now I can only content with my humble certificates and add to that, I have social anxiety and my attitude isn't the best and i'm always constantly depressed...yeah i'm screwed.

I see people around me going for their local degrees and perhaps they might be earning big bucks and travelling and retiring early while perhaps I slog my peasant life away for a decent living..yep, screwed.

 

[SophiaGrace]

have you ever heard of community colleges?

 

[Brian]

Well, I responded to a lot of this in one of your other threads. I hope you read that and are able to gain something from it. But...

I don't want to work in retail forever or any manual labour jobs. I am schooling at the moment but I hate it since I don't want to be in this place anyways...

No school =/= manual labor forever. Of course, we may have different definitions of manual labor. My definition is stuff like logging, construction, maybe mining. You know, difficult jobs.

Most other people consider anything outside a desk to be 'manual labor'. Any work with one's hands seems to be eschewed and considered not worthwhile.


From what I've seen though, I don't have any use for most college people. If I'm eventually able to act on either of my business ideas discussed in that other thread, the honest truth is I would probably throw out any employee application citing anything more than a tech certificate or associate's degree. I don't mean to offend long-term students; we have several on this board who are very bright and insightful and are actually worthwhile people. They are exceptions to the rule as I'm sure other people can be; but my experience with the typical college student is that they lack any practical, useful abilities. They're all book smart, and too many of them have an entitlement complex.

I was talking to a friend of mine who works in the corporate world. This generation of college students is flaky and impatient, demanding promotions within a year or even a few months after employment. In my line of work, promotions don't tend to come until 3 years and up, and that's if you earn them! To ask within the first year is laughable and a guy would probably fail probation for it; there's a thousand people with better attitudes waiting to take his spot.

Academics have their place. They design and they plan, they debate and they solve. But they're useless without workers. Until we have robots to do everything we tell them to do with our mind control hats (a day I hope to never see), the world still turns because of work ethic and practical abilities. Not because of paper pushers.

As discussed in my other reply, there is -not- a fine line between 'educated' jobs and sewer-mucking 'manual labor'. There is a broad field of intelligent people who actually do something and have applicable skills, and they do not make a bad wage.

Why the hell would I want to sit in an office when I could run heavy equipment for $25 an hour, or be out hiking and analyzing forest growth and health, and creating timber plans and planting schedules for $60,000 a year? Why would I want to read and write reports day in and day out when I could run a snow removal business in the winter, working toward a contract for a whole city and a dozen trucks, and then in the summer spend my time teaching people how to sail or running guided tours by land and by water?

I could spend four years in college and work my way up some corporate or government ladder, wasting my life away in front of computers and whiteboards.

Or I could spend a few years digging fire line and packing hose up hillsides, and work my way up to a line command in a wildland fire operation. A whole group of guys and a couple of trucks doing what I say and stopping fires.

I could spend my days fretting about stock and commodity trades and trying to meet some fat mouthbreather's monetary expectations. $50,000 a year?

Or I could put the finishing touches on the latest addition to a power grid as a high line guy, a hundred feet in the air if I like. Or work on the latest network of natural gas lines or geothermal wells, as a technical tradesman or as a field manager, for the same pay.

I could settle for a corporate 401k retirement and hope it's enough to see out my life.

Or I could start out as a city water worker, eventually rising up to treatment plan manager, and have a monthly pension for as long as I live; PLUS whatever I have saved.

I'll take the slightly sweaty option.


I'm not trying to demean people for choosing academics. There's some smart people who really come up with some bright stuff and they're as essential as anything. But I'm trying to help you see there's a whole 'nother part of life that I think you might be missing out on.

University is not the only worthwhile path. There is a lot to be earned, monetary and otherwise, by putting down the pencil and putting on some gloves. And one of the best parts? The people you work with are typically more honest and trustworthy; and you're more likely to advance based on your attitude, skill, and work ethic instead of politics and what an expensive piece of paper says you are.

And to hell with anyone who looks down on you for it.

 

[DigitxGeno]

If you really want something, you need to grab it by your own hands. That is if you have the will to want something. If you don't have a will, than yes. You are screwed. So a will or a winning lottery ticket.

 

[Stranger]

Snickers,
Those overachievers often only pretend to be awesome and successful. Inside they're all hiding some faults, bad things that they did, weaknesses, etc. Moreover, they're not always happy. Many top students are depressed because they feel like they're just nerds and don't have a life outside academia. Weak, unhappy people can get mean and try to feel superior by making you feel inferior. Don't let them! You're awesome! You're an intelligent, perceptive person, and have just as much right at life as any of them, maybe even more. Just remember: they're not better than you. HUGS!!!

 

[Whirligig]

I'd technically count as one of those overachievers. I doubt I count as happy and contented.

 

[Stranger]

I'd technically count as one of those overachievers. I doubt I count as happy and contented.

Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to attack overachievers. I was overachiever myself for about 5 years, and it didn't make me happy at all. Now I'm not an overachiever anymore, but I'm still not happy cos I feel I'm not working hard enough... probably the solution lies somewhere else? But one thing that's for sure, is that going to university doesn't guarantee success and eternal happiness

 

[Snickers]

I'm at school now but I hate it since I should have done this programme a few years ago when i graduated high school but then didn't want to go to a school because I was feeling burnt out and my results are not so good since I've kept skipping school and was constantly depressed...

So yeah..I have to keep going but feeling **** unhappy and unmotivated anyways...I mean I would not like to go to school but oh well, I just keep going even though I hate it...

 

[celestial]

During school i was abit of a waster. I never liked doing anything that is forced upon me. Especially when it comes to learning. In my first year i was very good in class, an above average pupil. However through the years that diminished due to a lack of interest in school. I couldnt concentrate in class, whenever i bothered to do homework it was at the last minute. In the end i never revised a single minute for any of my exams. Of course i did very poorly and in the end only had myself to blame.
After going through many a year of working in a warehouse. I introduced myself to reading as a hobby. I have found that now my reading, writing and general knowledge is much greater than those i once knew in school who were at one time considered smarter than me. I know for certain now that if i went back and did those exams again i would do extremely well after a little study.

Maybe what you need is an experience in the working world to wake up your enthusiasm for learning and to show you what you can do when you set your mind to it. Many people go back to university at an older age, in their late 20s for example.

 

[adinnhall]

Not all the people are over achievers, but there are lots of underachievers who have gained a lot in life and are very successful in life, so this is the reason why you should not loose hope and go in the direction where you are interested in most.

 

[suckaG]

Awesome post Brian! almost 100% agree Like you say, there are far more paths than academia alone offers, even though papers can help you get more technical positions. there are also the trades to think about too (painting, plastering, paper hanging etc). some trades pay big bucks if you have the skills; but it's sort of hard unless you go through a really good apprenticeship program or learn from a legit tradesman. best case is probably papers + experience (plus capability), as people have said, but again it depends on one's particular field.


the only thing I would take exception too is the idea that people in particular employment fields are more honest or hardworking than people in schools. sort of a generalization, because people everywhere come in equal parts lazy and driven, honest and deceitful. I’ve met lots of different sorts both in academia and in trade/retail/factory work.

 

[harrywatson66]

I saw this short on Atom Films a couple of years ago and loved it so much, it hurt. I thought it was so simple yet creative and romantic that I nearly snuffed myself out after watching it. I was in my cubicle at the time of my first viewing, at a job that was going nowhere real fast and I was shook to the bone. With each effort, Spike never disappointed and with "How They Get There," I had had enough. I thought I had ideas, I thought I had something going, but after seeing what Spike did with this film, and how effortless it seemed, I lost everything. My film, "Girls Without Fathers" bombed. People booed it. It was a thirty-minute muddy movie.