Wish you had siblings ?

[Somnambulist]

Are you an only child and do you wish you had siblings ? Please tell me your story.

I'm a male in my early thirties, and, for quite a few years, I've wished I had an older sister(s). I wouldn't want a brother, because I'm a sensitive guy who's very much in touch with his emotions, and I imagine that a brother of mine would be an insensitive macho guy like most guys are told to be (and they conform). And, most of my acquaintances naturally are/were women. I'd want an older sister(s) whom I could have heart-to-heart conversations with about anything and everything, someone I could lean on and seek guidance from.

I think that siblings are (or can be) God's gifts to us. They are friends we get for free. And they're harder to get rid of than most people in our lives ! For someone who has no friends and no one to rely on, siblings can be a true blessing. And, I feel like I'd need no excuse to pick up the phone and call my sister whenever I felt like it.

Is this a weird fantasy to have ? I've even asked my parents why they didn't give me a sister. Understandably, their answer wasn't all that satisfying.

 

[Tiina63]

I am also an only child and have wished for siblings many times, both in childhood and as an adult. Although many people with siblings don't get on with them very well, there are others who could not manage life very well without the closeness they share with their siblings. The hardest things about having no siblings include extreme loneliness (though siblings do not always protect against this), having to be the sole carer of my parents till they passed on as there was no one to share the load (though sometimes even with siblings only one of them is left to be the carer of the parents while the others go off to have their lives) , having no family when my parents died, having no one who is a witness to my childhood. I would have had a brother but mum had a miscarriage. I really wish he had survived.

 

[Paraiyar]

Yep, I'm a 25 year old male and wish I'd had an older sister. Think I'd have an easier time with women. Wouldn't mind an older brother in someways as well since it probably would have helped me adapt better to the world.

 

[Wayfarer]

It's not always what one would think it is. I have two brothers and I don't really get along with them, or talk to them that much (almost never, except now that I'm temporarily living again in the same house :\ ).
But then again, my fault probably. Sorry for raining on your parade, everyone.

I guess it's at least good for my parents as I would be a horrible caretaker.

 

[BadGuy]

I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers ....what do you have to trade lol

 

[Sci-Fi]

I have a brother anyone can have, he's self centered and thinks the world revolves around him. I often find myself wishing I had a younger brother. Having a sibling isn't always what its cracked up to make you believe it is.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I can donate a sister

 

[Bubblebeam]

My husband is an only child and says he never wanted a sibling. His parents lived apart so he got two Christmases all for him and everything. 

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Are you an only child and do you wish you had siblings ? Please tell me your story.

I'm a male in my early thirties, and, for quite a few years, I've wished I had an older sister(s). I wouldn't want a brother, because I'm a sensitive guy who's very much in touch with his emotions, and I imagine that a brother of mine would be an insensitive macho guy like most guys are told to be (and they conform). And, most of my acquaintances naturally are/were women. I'd want an older sister(s) whom I could have heart-to-heart conversations with about anything and everything, someone I could lean on and seek guidance from.

I think that siblings are (or can be) God's gifts to us. They are friends we get for free. And they're harder to get rid of than most people in our lives ! For someone who has no friends and no one to rely on, siblings can be a true blessing. And, I feel like I'd need no excuse to pick up the phone and call my sister whenever I felt like it.

Is this a weird fantasy to have ? I've even asked my parents why they didn't give me a sister. Understandably, their answer wasn't all that satisfying.

Or alternatively someone to abuse you in the most despicable way, desert you and take absolutely no responsibility until they are faced ultimately and eventually with the consequences of thier actions and then in a final act of cowardice throw themselves under a train..rot in hell you piece of honeysuckle.

 

[Somnambulist]

I am also an only child and have wished for siblings many times, both in childhood and as an adult.  Although many people with siblings don't get on with them very well, there are others who could not manage life very well without the closeness they share with their siblings.  The hardest things about having no siblings include extreme loneliness (though siblings do not always protect against this), having to be the sole carer of my parents till they passed on as there was no one to share the load (though sometimes even with siblings only one of them is left to be the carer of the parents while the others go off to have their lives) , having no family when my parents died, having no one who is a witness to my childhood.  I would have had a brother but mum had a miscarriage.  I really wish he had survived.

Thank you so much for sharing this touching story, Tiina !

Yes, I can attest to the extreme loneliness you talk about. And you make a great observation about having no witness to your childhood ... I never thought of that. I guess another way of phrasing that would be that you have had no one to create memories with, not just through childhood but also adulthood.

 

[Somnambulist]

Yep, I'm a 25 year old male and wish I'd had an older sister. Think I'd have an easier time with women. Wouldn't mind an older brother in someways as well since it probably would have helped me adapt better to the world.

Thank you so much for sharing, Paraiyar ! This helps validate my own feelings about the matter.

Why do you feel an older brother would have helped you adapt better ?

 

[Somnambulist]

It's not always what one would think it is. I have two brothers and I don't really get along with them, or talk to them that much (almost never, except now that I'm temporarily living again in the same house :\ ).
But then again, my fault probably. Sorry for raining on your parade, everyone.

I guess it's at least good for my parents as I would be a horrible caretaker.

Thanks for sharing. I understand, I always have, that siblings are not always God's gift.

But, maybe you now have a chance, if you so desire, to mend your relationships with your brothers ?

This must sound cliche to you, but look at it from the perspective of an only child (me, for instance) ... you have a walking talking chance to build and enjoy a good sibling relationship(s). I, on the other hand (along with a couple of others here) don't have that same chance ... and wish I/we did.

 

[Somnambulist]

I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers ....what do you have to trade lol

LOL is right !!! Right now, nothing ... I'm broke as broke can be.

Assuming I had the goods, which ones would you trade and why ?

 

[Somnambulist]

I have a brother anyone can have, he's self centered and thinks the world revolves around him.  I often find myself wishing I had a younger brother.  Having a sibling isn't always what its cracked up to make you believe it is.

 

[Somnambulist]

I can donate a sister

Does she come with a lot of baggage ?

 

[Somnambulist]

My husband is an only child and says he never wanted a sibling. His parents lived apart so he got two Christmases all for him and everything. 

Interesting. I think your husband and I are polar opposites.

 

[Somnambulist]

Or alternatively someone to abuse you in the most despicable way, desert you and take absolutely no responsibility until they are faced ultimately and eventually with the consequences of thier actions and then in a final act of cowardice throw themselves under a train..rot in hell you piece of honeysuckle.

Wow ! I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm also glad you and I aren't siblings !!!

I'm no one to judge your family, because I don't know y'all. And, I know that s**cide is such a sensitive topic, that most people steer clear of it. But, sorry, I have to say ... what your sibling did (train) ... the action, not the person ... demonstrates neither cowardice nor bravery, and it doesn't have to be classified as either of those two extremes. Another dichotomy I often hear associated with s**cide is selfishness and selflessness ! Why does it have to be one or the other ? Why can't it be neither ?

From my personal experience with s**cide, I can tell you that a lot goes on inside the mind of someone who takes such an action ... and trust me, very rarely is the person thinking, "Oh, this will earn me a headline tomorrow." Usually, they just want their pain to end.

I doubt your sibling (or anyone else who has completed the act) cares what anyone thinks of him/her.

I didn't mean for this to be abrasive or offensive to you in any way. I'm just telling you what I think about s**cide.

 

[ringwood]

Awwww, this makes me worry for my own son (who is currently an only child). He's only 7 now, but I worry he'll grow up and wish that he had siblings...what happens when we are gone? He has extended family, of course, but that's not quite like siblings. Do you resent your parents, with being an only child?

 

[Somnambulist]

Awwww, this makes me worry for my own son (who is currently an only child). He's only 7 now, but I worry he'll grow up and wish that he had siblings...what happens when we are gone? He has extended family, of course, but that's not quite like siblings. Do you resent your parents, with being an only child?

Hi ringwood, thanks for sharing ! Has your son ever expressed a desire for siblings ? I don't know your story, but is it too late for you to give him a sibling ? I know that he may be too young to fully understand what being an only child means long-term (i.e. the impact it will have on his adulthood), but if he says that he would like a sibling now, .... ?

Yes, I do resent my parents for not giving me a sister(s). Having been somewhat disillusioned and enlightened by life experience, I understand what a big deal having and supporting a child is, so I partially forgive them, but yes, part of me will always resent and wonder, "What if ... ?"

 

[sothatwasmylife]

Or alternatively someone to abuse you in the most despicable way, desert you and take absolutely no responsibility until they are faced ultimately and eventually with the consequences of thier actions and then in a final act of cowardice throw themselves under a train..rot in hell you piece of honeysuckle.

Wow ! I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm also glad you and I aren't siblings !!!

I'm no one to judge your family, because I don't know y'all. And, I know that s**cide is such a sensitive topic, that most people steer clear of it. But, sorry, I have to say ... what your sibling did (train) ... the action, not the person ... demonstrates neither cowardice nor bravery, and it doesn't have to be classified as either of those two extremes. Another dichotomy I often hear associated with s**cide is selfishness and selflessness ! Why does it have to be one or the other ? Why can't it be neither ?

From my personal experience with s**cide, I can tell you that a lot goes on inside the mind of someone who takes such an action ... and trust me, very rarely is the person thinking, "Oh, this will earn me a headline tomorrow." Usually, they just want their pain to end.

I doubt your sibling (or anyone else who has completed the act) cares what anyone thinks of him/her.

I didn't mean for this to be abrasive or offensive to you in any way. I'm just telling you what I think about s**cide.

I've no idea all I can say is I feel it is an older brothers role to nurture a younger brother I was aged four my brother around 15...He was entirely absent for my remaining childhood ..not there to support in any way...he committed suicide when their appeared to be a likelihood of us meeting and was aware at that time just how much damage he had caused...I would possibly have had some respect for him if he had been able to apologise...but he choose instead to take an easier route and I will always dispose him for that