Witches and Guillotines

[Despicable Me]

What is there to do in a society that doesn't want you to exist?
Blamed, hated, and hunted merely because someone didn't like your beliefs. Only because others got misinformation about you and you just happened to be born into this society that condemned people like yourself merely for being on the bad-end of that misinformation. Put to the stake for the transgressions of others.
What are you to do? When paraded around the village with a scarlet letter, knowing you're only a footstep away from the edge and being constantly pushed towards the stake or the axe, what is there truly left for you to do but take that last step?

My imagination runs wild with fantasies and I want to stand up and speak out, believing that if I yell loud enough with enough passion that people will stop for a moment to hear the on-going screams or perhaps they will hear the anger and pain in my voice and join with me to battle these injustices based purely on their morals or sense of ethics. However, I can only dream this.
When I speak in truth I only hear more condemnation? No one heeds my call. Is this dystopia and I awaken into a living nightmare each and every day? Why must it be like this? Is there no Sanctuary?

This is the distinction between our dreams and nightmares, two extreme states of the same entity. Reality hovers somewhere inbetween but closer to a nightmare than anyone would ever like to imagine. So, why does it seem like so few ever truly see this? And the few who are with me, why are they not truly with me? Why are they so afraid?
With such situations too harsh to imagine I slowly drift apart from reality. In constant disbelief I'm not sure I am going to hold on much longer to this world. In a constant war inside and out, I am constantly in battle. But I am so tired. What is left of a person so scarred and torn by battle that he remembers nothing else, not even joy? And what if this is someone born onto the battlefield and knows nothing else? Fighting for life every day takes its toll. What if he only knows joy from the blood lust? How would such a person even know the distinction between joy and pain at all? How would such a person ever even know peace? Is it even possible?

What is there to do? They tell you to line up, and they never tell you why. Yet I know I am in line for the Guillotine. I'm watching as heads roll, and I can say nothing. I can say nothing because I am their enemy. The enemy that they created in their own minds, in their nightmares. The enemy that likely never existed at all in reality. Yet here I am, standing in this fictional world made of other people's nightmares and yet I am the one who has to pay the price?

What are my options at this point? At this point I have pretty much learned to enjoy the bite of the fires below, and the dull pain of blade above. Maybe I really am a witch after all?
And if I am a witch, am I the last of my kind? Have they slaughtered all the others? Or maybe I was the first? Am I truly alone?

 

[SofiasMami]

Some of your posts are lucid, some are not; this is the latter. Care to tell us what's going on, Despicable Me?

-Teresa

 

[Despicable Me]

Care to tell us what's going on, Despicable Me?

I thought I already did...
-sigh-

I just don't know what to do. Society just plain doesn't like people like me. It appears that many people would rather that I be dead. It is all based on ignorance and stupidity, but that doesn't change anything. I've tried to argue and explain. People just don't listen. Explaining myself only leads to condemnation, not understanding. This is why I cannot be "lucid" as you say. There are people who sympathize with me but that doesn't ever make any difference. More are against me and that is enough for me to fear for my life, to be afraid of the future, to struggle with things and with people, and to generally break away and dissociate reality sometimes. No matter what I do I feel trapped. No matter who I talk to I feel alone. No matter where I am I never feel as if I belong there.
This just isn't my world. I am a witch in a world where everyone is afraid of witches. I am a revolutionary in a world where everyone is afraid of revolution. I am a monster in a world where everyone is afraid of monsters.

Things don't have to be like this, they just are. But I don't want them to be like this anymore. I may be a monster but it is peoples' misguided fears which will turn me into exactly what they fear. One can only take so much.

And it doesn't help that I have faced things that so many people will never face since I was a small child. I stared death in the face when I was only 2 years old. And his shadow hung over me for years. But not only that I have seen complete and total devastation. I saw my hometown completely destroyed. There was nothing left but rubble. Something most could never even imagine, and I was there. I was in it. I lived it. I probably have a couple forms of PTSD from these things. I don't really know. I cannot afford to pay any sort of therapist even if I could force myself to speak to one.

I am cursed. And all the world ever seems to want to do is curse me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I really doubt you're the last of your kind. There is at least one person out there like you, you just haven't found them yet. You haven't found your place, so to speak. But if you give up looking for the place you fit in, you'll never find it. Keep looking, keep your head up and don't let anyone tear you down just because they don't understand you.

 

[Despicable Me]

I really doubt you're the last of your kind. There is at least one person out there like you, you just haven't found them yet. You haven't found your place, so to speak. But if you give up looking for the place you fit in, you'll never find it. Keep looking, keep your head up and don't let anyone tear you down just because they don't understand you.

I used to conform and for a while I actually believed I fit in. Witches can hide in normal society and be normal, but not during the witch hunts. It just doesn't work. I was lying to myself all those years. There have always been witch hunts, and I have always been a witch. Sometimes we just have to accept reality for what it is.