With whom should we share our problems?
- Thread starter vng2015
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Tealeaf
Well-known member
Not sure about yours, but my employer doesn't have access to all things accessed and created on the Internet via my home network. Only what they can find through Googling the name on their records to find my Facebook and such (along with anything mentioned there). If you're not careful you could be vulnerable to what's known as doxxing, which I've seen happen on forums in the past so that others could call in fake tips to their workplace, but employers cannot simply trace a forum name back to your real identity.
Tealeaf said:
Possibly -- but a good detective can find anything. That is the danger of cyberstalking.
Tealeaf said:
That is terrible -- I have made many enemies online -- I would like to find someone to talk to offline.
user 115627
It's all so tiresome.
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vng2015 said:
Someone would have to be awfully interested in you to go that far though. Truth be told, I think the majority of people don't give a **** about others and so the whole cyberstalking business is far too cumbersome for them. The worst they can start up is a social network smear campaign full of baseless rumors. Pre-school bullshit. And you'd still have to give out your real name for this.
user 115627
It's all so tiresome.
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vng2015 said:
Neither has it happened to me.
vng2015 said:
True. But that happens in real life as much as in virtual life. In either case, it requires an individual that cannot let go - or a disturbed one, depending on the severity of the actions. Of course the possibilities are far more numerous in the online world, but once again it depends on how much of your life you exposed in the first place.
Now I don't want to boost any paranoia here, but that's just the world we're living in and I think it's crucial not to handle your privacy sphere as if you had more than one to lose. The internet doesn't forget easily. But a bit of foresight goes a long way.
ardour
Well known loser
This is why people use monikers for their blogs, instagram accounts, adjust their facebook profile names so don't appear in search results. It's seems like a pretty common sense thing not to give personal details out on a forum.
Thats why I don't use my real name and occupation for social websites anymore... I learned the hard way that you can't trust everyone that you meet online. That people aren't always what they appear to be. I had a really close friendship with a younger guy online a little while ago. His name was Red and he was from the Netherlands. He was cool at first and I felt like I could talk to him about anything. We would often stay up all night talking on skype. But overtime things got out of hand, and it turned toxic. He was a deeply self hating person, and was paranoid about everyone and everything. If I didn't have time to hang out, or if I didn't feel like talking to him when he wanted me to call, he would go psycho on me and make all kinds of crazy accusations. He sent several death threats to me on facebook, and relentlessly stalked my tumblr page.. We stopped talking and reconciled several times before I was finally able to convince myself that I was better off without him..
ardour said:
Neither do I -- but I give out too much information which can be used by any stalker. But then most people online give out too much information as well.
Mockery said:
I am sorry it happened.
Is it difficult to find Skype friends? Is it dangerous?
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Tealeaf said:
This is something I've often wondered about. I think I've seen a couple of your posts around here that say you are tech-savvy, so maybe you could answer this question for me:
I have my privacy settings on Facebook turned up to the highest settings I can, while still being recognizable to people I know who might want to Request me. When I use the "View As" privacy option to see what my profile looks like to the public, it shows very little - just my cover photo and one picture I took this year. It also shows the groups I'm in (one for me and my friends' creative projects and another for a game) and that's it. There's nothing even remotely controversial, I'm not interested in much of that anyway. But, as I'm looking for a job, I'm wondering if employers have any way of sneaking past this? I'd hate to lose out on a prospect because of something on my Facebook from years ago that I might not necessarily believe in anymore.
SofiasMami
Well-known member
vng2015 said:
I lived in a small town. In small towns, everybody knows everybody's business, whether you want them to or not. So your above points apply in real life and pre-world wide web too, not just online.
I think the real question is how do you know when to self-disclose to acquaintances and casual friends? I think the rules are mostly the same online as in real life. Go with your gut and share things you might have in common with someone you're friendly with.
I don't make it a secret who I am here
Some people even know my last name and address, thanks to the Christmas card exchange. Although I'm moving soon (sorry stalkers! ). As you may see, I've been around here awhile but only a select few get those bits of information.Making friends online takes some time and effort, just like it does in real life. No one will knock on your door and say "Let's be friends". If you never reveal anything about yourself or take a chance and open up to some vulnerability, that's a recipe for loneliness.
-Teresa
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
vng2015 said:
No, it's really not. You're using your labels as excuses again. I know a lot of people with Asperger's, my son being one of them and they all have friends.
All you have to do is be yourself and people with either accept you or they won't, just like anyone else.
Amthorn
Well-known member
All the bad things in my past are public record, and I doubt I am interesting enough for anyone to want to scour the web for posts by me!
Regumika
Well-known member
SofiasMami said:I lived in a small town. In small towns, everybody knows everybody's business, whether you want them to or not. So your above points apply in real life and pre-world wide web too, not just online.
I think the real question is how do you know when to self-disclose to acquaintances and casual friends? I think the rules are mostly the same online as in real life. Go with your gut and share things you might have in common with someone you're friendly with.
I don't make it a secret who I am here
Making friends online takes some time and effort, just like it does in real life. No one will knock on your door and say "Let's be friends". If you never reveal anything about yourself or take a chance and open up to some vulnerability, that's a recipe for loneliness.
-Teresa
Teresa makes a great point, one which I have thought about too (people's worries). What is to prevent people in real life from stalking you? That doesn't stop you from going outside, does it? You go to the store, you run errands, you go to work/school/whatever. Internet isn't any different. The difference is the pool. Where in Teresa's town (just to throw a number out) if 1 in 1000 people is a stalker, then maybe only 1 person in her town would stalk (there are only 1000 people in the town). But with access to internet you would get more, but still only 1 in 1000 people.
How do you make friends? Listen and talk to people. Listen, and talk. You won't be able to make friends with everyone, but you don't need to be friends with everyone. A handful is plenty.
Amthorn
Well-known member
Regumika said:SofiasMami said:I lived in a small town. In small towns, everybody knows everybody's business, whether you want them to or not. So your above points apply in real life and pre-world wide web too, not just online.
I think the real question is how do you know when to self-disclose to acquaintances and casual friends? I think the rules are mostly the same online as in real life. Go with your gut and share things you might have in common with someone you're friendly with.
I don't make it a secret who I am here
Making friends online takes some time and effort, just like it does in real life. No one will knock on your door and say "Let's be friends". If you never reveal anything about yourself or take a chance and open up to some vulnerability, that's a recipe for loneliness.
-Teresa
Teresa makes a great point, one which I have thought about too (people's worries). What is to prevent people in real life from stalking you? That doesn't stop you from going outside, does it? You go to the store, you run errands, you go to work/school/whatever. Internet isn't any different. The difference is the pool. Where in Teresa's town (just to throw a number out) if 1 in 1000 people is a stalker, then maybe only 1 person in her town would stalk (there are only 1000 people in the town). But with access to internet you would get more, but still only 1 in 1000 people.
How do you make friends? Listen and talk to people. Listen, and talk. You won't be able to make friends with everyone, but you don't need to be friends with everyone. A handful is plenty.
One of those definite quantifiable difference between men and women that justifies the "yesallwomen" hashtag. Women, even psycho ones, typically won't stalk a guy she doesn't know. I can pretty much spread my identity across the web, and I'm unlikely to get harrassed or stalked. Usually if a man gets stalked, it's by someone he has a pre-existing relationship. By contrast, women are often stalked just by virtue of existence. There have been times I wished I had a real life female stalker, just for the attention, but the few times when this actually occurred to any extent it was creepy and disturbing.
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