Work is all I have...

[grainofrice24]

So here I am, real life. What I heard so much about. Living the day to day life of a market analyst for a giant corporation. I've been at this job for a while now and it's quite demanding compared to my previous jobs. It's a very fast-paced business with a lot of quick talkers and fast movers where a slow witted and steady mover like me has to push hard to keep up.

I find myself working 65 hour weeks (without overtime) at the office (not to mention VPN) on top of 2 Night school classes and I'm barely keeping my head above water. I stress about work all the time....but I cant get enough. It's so depressing having a dream that I got up, went to work, had a shitty morning and then waking up...having to go to work...and having a shitty morning.

On weekends I'm so burnt out that I just want to sleep/relax...but I never do...just hop on the VPN to prepare for the next week...or end up doing things to try to escape the mundanity ...but just end up looking back with regret at all the stupid crap I did that pisses me off.

It just seems these days that I'm trying to fill all the holes in my life with work. I'm tired all week, but I refuse to sleep...instead I stay at the office till 2 in the morning and develop my relationship with caffeine.

I meet women in my night classes, but I don't know what the fresia to say to them. I can't think of anything AT THE TIME. So much I'd like to say...but I'd never say any of it right. I know what to say...the words are in my head, but they never make it out. I just say nothing...or I blank out like a deer in the headlights.

I know I know...I can hear you now: "Why don't you just say it?!"...Jeez Einstein...That thought never occurred to me!! Speaking of...why don't fat people just eat less? And dumb people just think harder...man we're on a roll!! :club:

I'm too used to doing nothing...that's the problem. But when I go out in an effort to escape this situation and solve my problems...I just end up doing something wrong or making a stupid mistake which makes it harder to get up and try again. They say life isn't about how hard you hit, it's about whether u can get back up after getting hit (a boxing analogy). Even the best fighters will tell you that sometimes...the best thing you can do...is stay down.

I'm 24 years young and I come home thinking "I'm getting too old for this honeysuckle"....50+ more years of this?? I'll never make it.

Christmas/Birthday's coming up...that'll be depressing...still no girlfriend in sight. Don't think it's going to happen (if it was going to it would have by now). Too much time wasted. I've thought about seeking counselling...but I know it's one of those things I'll just never do. Or if I did I'd never let the Councillor help me.

I used to think I just needed a good friend...but I have good friends...and that's not it. 24 years of coworkers, peers, chums, pals, buddies, homies/hommettes, cronies, friends, family and acquaintances...something's missing. My best friend probably said it best...I just need to get laid. Maybe she's right...but truth be told...I actually don't want sex. Just someone who gets me. Someone who won't ask why I'm so messed up. I know I know..."it doesn't come to you...you have to go out and get it". My problem is it could come to me, and I'd screw it up. FFS it HAS come to me and I've screwed it up.

I guess that no matter what life happens to give you...the one thing you can count on...is that you've earned it.

 

[kamya]

Man you're only 24, you have a high paying job, no women to worry about, and no kids to take care of. That is pretty awesome imo. Working your ass off and making money. I wish I had the will to do that. People say it's all about balance, but work your ass off now and the rest of your life you can be more carefree.

If you really want to kill work time, find an mmo to play, and join a guild. There goes all of your free time. Or just find a hobby, or travel on vacation. Something to distract your mind from work.

 

[oopsiedoop]

It sounds like you're a very intense person who wants a lot of out life, like I did. This is a great thing to be! But it also means we have to learn how to handle the intense frustration when things are not as we know they should be.

I think everyone deserves someone who understands them completely. Unfortunately that's not possible. The next best thing is someone who understands enough. I think that's very possible.

I am really bad with small talk, and that makes it very difficult to meet people. But I am learning to accept my own feelings, including my feelings of inadequacy, and that makes it easier to communicate with others, because I'm not trying to constantly hide these things. I don't mean I fly into a full confession. I used to do that, desperately trying to connect. It's the opposite. I am more able to relax and be less self conscious, which allows me to focus more on what's going on outside me, and therefore more able to interact at an appropriate level to that while remaining in touch with my own feelings.

 

[Sci-Fi]

All work and no play You really do need an escape from all that. I'm like you, seems all I do is work but I don't put in quite as much time as you do. I think I'd go crazy...okay more crazy.

If you really want to kill work time, find an mmo to play, and join a guild. There goes all of your free time. Or just find a hobby, or travel on vacation. Something to distract your mind from work.

Don't do this, I play DCUO (which is going free for pc soon) and it can suck up all your free time and then some.

I like that you say you are 24 years young. That's good. Hang in there, build your fortune.

 

[RJLJD]

do you like your job? if you do, i'm with kamya on this one.

 

[grainofrice24]

Man you're only 24, you have a high paying job, no women to worry about, and no kids to take care of. That is pretty awesome imo. Working your ass off and making money. I wish I had the will to do that. People say it's all about balance, but work your ass off now and the rest of your life you can be more carefree.

If you really want to kill work time, find an mmo to play, and join a guild. There goes all of your free time. Or just find a hobby, or travel on vacation. Something to distract your mind from work.

I agree that it is all about balance. However now I'm balancing out all my youthful years where I took it easy, now I'm busting my ass to make up for it.

Secondly, I do like my job...and I am NOT looking to kill work time. I spend all that time at work because I'm BUSY LOL . I'm not just staring at the screen. It's a big business and there's always room for more market insight so I have no surplus of time. Thus, picking up gaming is out of the question LOL. I like my job, and I intend on keeping it!!

Thirdly...the money. I tell myself I do it for the money...but to be honest, all that I use money for is a roof over my head, gas in the car and food in the fridge. That does take up a lot of money...but beyond those things I have no use for money. I used to think "oh when I get some $$ i'm gonna buy this and this and this and that..." but now I'm just too burnt out on weekends to go out and spend money. The odd ribeye steak from the farmers market or a night out of beers is all the extravagant spending I do.

However it is nice not having kids

 

[Sprint]

I'm balancing out all my youthful years where I took it easy, now I'm busting my ass to make up for it.

You're still in your youthful years lol you're only 24.

I used to think "oh when I get some $$ i'm gonna buy this and this and this and that..." but now I'm just too burnt out on weekends to go out and spend money.

Completely relate!

 

[IgnoredOne]

Trust me, you'll have a need for that money soon enough Don't worry too much about things, at the least.

 

[Thrasymachus]

You cannot possibly have more to life than work if you work 65 hours, plus working on the VPN when you are not there, in addition to taking two night courses. The only way you can center your life more on work is by sleeping at the office. Basically all you are doing is living to work, offering yourself as a pagan sacrifice to a huge corporation. I used to have a friend who worked 60 hours a week for 6 days a week. When you factor in taking a daily shower, preparing and eating meals, shitting and other daily activities, he said he basically had at most 1 to 2 something hours a day to himself, outside of his day off.

It is not really much of a life to live. If you really liked your job you probably would not be complaining about it here and or in real life(likely true, but we cannot cross-check on that). When people say they like their job they often operatively mean that they like the social status, pay, benefits and working conditions, and most important, they know there is far worse out there. But if you know these people who claim they "like" their jobs you can hear them complaining always about work tomorrow, the coming Monday that will end the weekend, etc. Or in your case complaining that all you have in life is work, because you have too much time on the company time clock and not enough to yourself.