Workplace Secrets

[DayvanCowboy]

Stuff that nobody knows that could/can get you fired if they find out you revealed it.

At age 16 my dream was to become a chef. I got lucky and landed a job as a sous chef in training at the most popular banquet hall in the city working with the top rated chef in town 3 years running. It was nice until the second or third week of working there. So many times food would land on the floor (kitchen floors are NASTY), pass the 5 second rule, and then placed right back on the plate. Whenever expensive fruit and pastry platters were ordered the staff would get first dibs on some of the items even before they headed out to the door. Their methods were to take one item and then take another to even it out lmao. Lots of waiters were under the influence of something most of the time and would get into some deviant behaviour with other staff members and never wash their hands after.

Before working at a bookstore another funny place I worked at was a very well known department store in Canada and the USA. The domes you see on the roof that supposedly contain cameras? They are fake. Only a few actually have cameras in them and most of the time they are just viewing the entrances. When certain seasons are over (e.g. Halloween to Christmas) so much candy and chocolate would just get thrown into a dumpster. A certain product or package has a tear on it? Into the dumpster as well. Everything except electronics really.

 

[Badjedidude]

When certain seasons are over (e.g. Halloween to Christmas) so much candy and chocolate would just get thrown into a dumpster.

Since you didn't name the massive, overwhelmingly cheap corporation, I won't either...but I know which one it is. Haha so are you telling us to go to this place and raid the dumpsters after certain seasons are over?

I love dumpster diving. I've gotten so many things from diving dumpsters...for instance, this isn't really a "workplace" secret, but since I'm in college I guess I'll count it as one:

My university is well-known for its large number of foreign students, especially from eastern asia. Usually they come over, buy lots of electronics (high-end stuff, too)...and then at the end of the semester, before they go home, THEY THROW IT ALL AWAY. American products wouldn't work in their home countries (without adapters...and they already have stuff at home, probably...just too expensive to bring it with them). So near the end of every semester, I go dumpster diving and usually find all sorts of awesome stuff.

I've found a working coffee machine (that I cleaned with bleach before using)...a dvd player, some awesome headphones, a newer-model cell phone, etc etc etc. Once when I went looking through the trash, one of my friends found a LAPTOP. That's right. Some asian dude had thrown away a $1500 laptop because he couldn't take it home with him.

So if you're in college, the next time you want some workable gear and you have no shame (like me), go dumspter diving in the trash bins by the dorms!

----Steve

 

[Spare]

Back when I was working, I was training a new delivery/installation guy on my crew. Showing him procedures, training him on appliance delivery and removal, as well as limited installation. I was also letting him drive the delivery truck to the easier-to-get-to addresses, so he could get used to the big vehicle. We were having difficulty locating a particular house, and at one point we had to turn around. The newbie laboriously got us turned around in a long rural driveway, and eventually we finally found our destination.

When we got out of the truck and went around back to begin unloading our delivery, we discovered a mailbox, post and all, wedged into the hydraulic lift. Evidently, when he had turned us around, he had backed into a mailbox, without either of us realizing it. Oops.

We were short on time, so we threw the mailbox away. THAT wasn't a federal offense! Sheesh! This was years ago, when I was younger and far more foolish. I feel bad that I didn't even bother to return it. Oh well. Hindsight, and whatnot.

 

[RebeccaSarah33]

lol I worked at a fast food resturant and I witnessed some nasty stuff going on in the kitchen. Once I saw the store manager herself make a customers sandwich with no gloves on without washing her hands and there was an extra hunk of the grilled chicken sitting loosely but still attached to the main piece in the sandwich and she bit it off!!! EWW LOL How gross! She sucked the juice off her fingers too and continued to make sandwiches. Another time I noticed basically a whole ant colony living in the kitchen, the ants would help themself to the whole bar of food, mostly the toppings part because that was room temperature, but they all travelled this pipe leading from the floor to the ceiling carrying little bits of food and the workers just act like its normal and carry on with thier work. I'm sure a few people unknowingly ate ants in thier sandwiches. lol then even longer ago while working as a baker, my boss dropped a whole basket full of bagels onto the floor and just said to himself 'this is why we mop the floors' and picked up all the bagels and put them back into the basket, i did not partake of that flavor bagel that day LOL.

 

[Brian]

As a Firefighter/EMT:

After hauling old ladies to the hospital in an ambulance, it was not uncommon for me to make jokes suggesting to my partner that they wanted to get a hotel room with him. I made these jokes to beat him to the punch because if I didn't say it, he surely would have. Every EMT does this sort of thing.

Also, after responding to most vehicle accidents, at least one of the involved drivers is henceforth referred to amongst the crew as "That ******* idiot" or "moron".

We also comment to each other on the cleanliness of your house and whether or not we liked your dog.


As a Brush Piler/Forest Worker:

There are no toilets in the woods. Remember this the next time you hire a crew to thin your brush or cut down a danger tree. We will not knock on your door and ask to use yours because it wastes time and you don't want us tracking filth through your fancy house anyway.

And if you were rude to us...I peed in your flowerbed. Ha! HA! HAHAHA!


As a Highschool Custodian:

When everyone is out of the building, once I get around to cleaning the girls bathroom, I pee in their toilets. I also peed in their locker room shower drain, once. Take THAT, Britney. Maybe next time you'll at least give the slightly dorky kid the time of day when he works up the nerve to say hi to you. Uppity *****.

Totally not projecting my past experiences on to other people. Nope.

 

[Badjedidude]

There are no toilets in the woods.

LOL I love it, Brian. XD

I'm a big fan of hardcore camping: Waaaaaaay out in the sticks, miles from any town, on foot, carrying like 80 lbs of equipment, no tents, no phone or iPod, rifle in hand, hiking like 14 miles a day, etc etc etc. (I live in Kansas, so I can get away with it.)

Anyway, every time I invite someone to come with me, they get the surprise of their lives when they discover that the "toilet" is a hole in the ground, and the toilet "seat" is a piece of rope strung between two nearby trees. XD IMHO, people are way too touchy/sensitive about nakedness and pooping/peeing.

@everyone: You know what I see when I read this thread? Humanity. Gobless it.

----Steve

 

[Brian]

'this is why we mop the floors'

BAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Man, speaking of floors. I was getting ready to start dust-mopping the halls at the school last week and there was this teenage couple who had been progressively getting saucier with their Public Display of Affection. One minute I walk by and they're fondling eachother, the next they're rolling around on the floor and he's on top of her stroking her hair. THE FLOOR. OF A HIGH SCHOOL.


GEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSS.




On that note, what the hell is with kids nowadays? Why do they linger around school hours after classes and activities are over? Do they have lives? I was one of the biggest losers ever at my school, and even I didn't hang around that long. The bell rang at 2:30 and I was home by 2:45 on a slow day.

 

[Badjedidude]

GEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSS.

You saw two kids practically screwing in the school hallway and GERMS is what crosses your mind? Lol I would've kicked them both in the rear with a hearty chew-out and sent them on their merry way. Lol but I'm a teachy, so it's sorta my job to think like that.

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

I got a knobby from the chubby drivethrough girl in the walkin when I worked at burger king.

 

[Brian]

Lol but I'm a teachy, so it's sorta my job to think like that.

----Steve

Thinking like that would suggest I expect anything more than failure and substandard performance from them.

Plus the school staff basically has no authority and the kids are allowed by the principal to tell even teachers to 'fresia off'.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

We also comment to each other on the cleanliness of your house ...

Oh my God, I knew it! honeysuckle. I really need to de-clutter this place before I have that stroke, but de-cluttering will probably lead me to have the stroke in the first place. Too.Much.Stuff.

 

[Badjedidude]

Plus the school staff basically has no authority and the kids are allowed by the principal to tell even teachers to 'fresia off'.

Then that principal needs his/her ass kicked. What a *******. There's no way I'd let some little honeysuckle kid talk to me like that.

----Steve

 

[Brian]

I know, right? If any group of kids needs to be smacked around by teachers these days, some of these precious little bastards definitely qualify.


Seriously, you could roll a busload of them off a cliff, and nothing of value would be lost.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Seriously, you could roll a busload of them off a cliff, and nothing of value would be lost.

What the....

o_o

 

[iwasaloverb4thiswar]

(I live in Kansas, so I can get away with it.)

this explains so much

Hmm food service always has nasty honeysuckle going on behind the scenes, and I have worked at a few restaurants and seen plenty. I guess the most common and prevalent 'secret' I encounter is workplace romances. There is the usual drama, but I also worked at a high end restaurant where the head chef may have raped one of the hostesses...a friend of mine actually. Thing is I never really knew enough to do anything about it, said friend was a heavy drug user, had a lifetime of abusive sexual relationships that she initiated and pursued, and in retrospect probably a compulsive liar. Not in anyway implying that she deserved it, if it happened, but there was a lot of mystery, changing of details to the story, and a very unreliable and manipulative victim at it's center. To this day I am not really sure what happened, but it was hard to go to work everyday with that lingering in the air. I was worried about her and had no idea about how to handle it, I couldn't trust anyone there and was both concerned for my friend, but also this man who was in danger of possibly losing everything by being falsely accused. Everyone that worked there was pretty messed up and had very weird entangled social lives. This same friend also messed me out of a good sum of money and took advantage of my families hospitality. Needless to say I checked myself out of the situation very quickly, the restaurant shut down soon after, and I haven't seen or heard from the 'friend' in years. That was the worst job I have ever had.

 

[Brian]

What the....

o_o

They are bastards.

For serious.

 

[SophiaGrace]

What the....

o_o

They are bastards.

For serious.

They're kids, not criminals :l

 

[Badjedidude]

They're kids, not criminals :l

No, many of them probably ARE criminals...and the rest are criminals in training. Especially a lot of inner city schools are like that.

----Steve

 

[Brian]

Wow, me and Jedi think a lot alike.

(does it make me less of a judgmental ******* if other people validate my point of view?)

 

[Badjedidude]

(does it make me less of a judgmental ******* if other people validate my point of view?)

LOL or maybe two judgmental ******** just happened to find the same site.

----Steve