Worst time of my life, period.

[Maverick1989]

Hello there fellow loners,

Yes, it has been almost 3 years now since I posted something on this forum. I've decided to come back, since I needed some place to vent my issues. Have looked back at my olds posts and topics, made me want to go back since the things I have experienced have been far from fun.

Maybe a little re-introductioning is in place...

My name is Rick, I'm 24 years old and I live in the Netherlands.
I'm a single student currently in it's 3rd year of College, I study Bussiness IT and Management.

I've read some posts here and have seen some familiar faces from back in the days(Badjedidude, sup?), haha it has been a long time indeed.

I will try to keep it short, but it may get a bit long

3 years ago I posted and lurked alot in these forums(mostly lurked) and was a frustrated single young adult, who had no experience with women whatsoever. Shortly after I left my lurking life here on the forums I met a girl who was very pretty...from the outside. And I'm going to tell you what a BIG mistake it has been to go with her and lose my virginity to her.

I met this girl via the girlfriend of my bestfriend, she is a half portuguese half dutch girl, very pretty but oh so deceitful, like a black widow she paralyzed me with her pretty smile and her cute face. At first she wasn't interested in me until she had a talk with my bestfriend, the conversation went like this(very shortened version);

My ex;"Hey! I need a boy with whom I can have sex before I move to London, do you know someone who will fall for my innocence?"
My ex-bestfriend; "Yeah sure, you should try your filthy tricks on Rick, he's still a virgin and should be easy to reel in."

Well, she did reel me in in the summer of 2011. I already liked her so it took her no effort to get me. We kissed on a night out, and 2 weeks later we had a relationship. I was in love, very very bad, which was a tremendous good feeling but also created alot of fear inside me, a fear that I might once lose her, I was blind and foolish... I wouln't have fallen for her seductive moves this day but I was so very in love.

And ofcourse we had sex, because afterall, that is what she wanted. After about 2,5 months she decided that she no longer needed me and dumped me like an old rag via a text message. I was devestated, broken, and lost. I was so hurt that I failed my exams that year, I couldn't eat or sleep either...

About a month or so after I got dumped one of my friends said to me; "Dude, you've got to come over! You need to read this...". He showed me some screenshots of MSN chats he had taken from my bestfriends laptop, which showed my ex and my bestfriend talking to eachother and revealed that my ex only wanted me for the sex and would dump me afterwards.

The next weekend me and my friend went drinking in the city and after a long night we went home but we came across a bunch of dudes who wanted to fight and we were both beaten up pretty bad, blood was everywhere on the streets, my head was swollen up and had a concussion. It was 5 vs 2, we had no chance. But worst of all was that my ex was just watching us being beaten up and did nothing.

So after all that I hit rock bottom, I had been used, beaten up, and failed at school because all of that. My already low selfesteem had been totally wiped out to zero.

Now almost two years later after the events I'm still experiencing issues. I have been on the verge of a burn-out, which could get worse if I don't look out. The thing I wanted to share with you is not only my story but also a bit of advise;

Never go into a relationship if you don't really now the girl/guy, date alot first!
Don't underestimate women! Some of them could destroy your life.
Love isn't always fun, especially when it's your first time, you will also face many fears you didn't even knew existed! Choose wisely!

And seriously guys and girls, it's better to be an unhappy single than it is to have a broken heart, it is 10x worse. If I had the choice I would have gone back at the point that I kissed that girl and would have walked away, because she destroyed my life.

Thanks if you have read this far, I just wanted to share my story and it's getting a bit better know but it's far from perfect. I'm trying to find a girl who really loves me for who I am, hopefully I will find her one day...

Cheers,

Rick

 

[Sigma]

I have actually nearly experienced something similar at some point, though my paranoia general distrust of people saved me in the end.
Was apparently the target of a bet "Net the quiet guy that never talks"
Shame there's so many people willing to toy with people's emotions like it's nothing.

I'm together with someone I know I can trust now though, someone I've known pretty much since birth.
Hope you'll find someone like that as well.

 

[Badjedidude]

I've read some posts here and have seen some familiar faces from back in the days(Badjedidude, sup?), haha it has been a long time indeed.

Hey.

Good to see ya, man.

Just keep in mind that not all women are like that. Sounds like you got a shitty deal with the ex and the friend that sent her to you. I would stay away from those two in the future, probably.

 

[ardour]

****... what a "best friend"

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sorry to read about what's happened to you, so unfortunate really. I think the first failed relationships always teach you the most things to prepare you for the next one. I, too, feel like I was probably deceived in my previous relationship. It taught me a lot of things really. How to be careful and and understand people's reactions.

Like what badjedidude said, not all women are like that though, as much as you should be open to meeting new people in your life, you should also always be careful and I do agree with you, get to know the person first properly before really getting into a serious relationship.