Would you consider a matchmaker?

[Solivagant]

I was wondering what people think of matchmaking as an alternative to meeting someone the standard way (online or otherwise). Would you ever hire a matchmaker, or have you (and what was your experience with it)? Would you like to see matchmaking become as accessible, affordable, and mainstream as online dating?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think the idea of it is fine. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But that could be said without a matchmaker. Would I personally do it? Can't say that I personally would.

 

[Solivagant]

Would I personally do it? Can't say that I personally would.

Why not?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Would I personally do it? Can't say that I personally would.

Why not?

Because being with someone was never important to me. Is the idea nice? Sure, of course. But either way, having someone or not, would probably have had zero effect on what's happened to me in life. In fact, I have to admit, there are times in my past where it would have just been unreasonable for me to be with someone. So, I wouldn't waste someone's time being a matchmaker when they could be helping someone else.

I also just don't ever see myself hiring or paying someone for the sole purpose of finding me a date. I could do that myself just fine if I had to.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I got 'matchmaked' once by this woman I knew. She had a next door neighbour who was supposed to be really nice.
Turned out she wasn't and I did feel bitter about the matchmaker. There was plenty she never told me when she could have done.

People at work matchmake for a joke sometimes.

 

[Solivagant]

I got 'matchmaked' once by this woman I knew. She had a next door neighbour who was supposed to be really nice.

Was she a professional matchmaker, or just someone who knew someone she wanted to set you up with?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I got 'matchmaked' once by this woman I knew. She had a next door neighbour who was supposed to be really nice.

Was she a professional matchmaker, or just someone who knew someone she wanted to set you up with?

no just somebody who I used to work with.

I didn't know there was professional matchmakers ?

 

[Solivagant]

I didn't know there was professional matchmakers ?

Yeah, there are. They've been uncommon but I think they are becoming gradually more popular, as people are becoming disillusioned with online dating sites and dating in general. Often they are hired by people who are just too busy to look for dates, people who have trouble making the approach, or people who have just not been able to find someone right for them. As far as I know, they will survey and interview you about what you desire in a partner in various aspects, get to know you a bit to ascertain your personality and needs, and then set up dates for you with people they think you may be compatible with. Many offer additional services if you want them, such as coaching and "mock dates" (like mock interviews) for practice.

I think they are generally quite expensive though, so I don't know how affordable they are for the average person.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I don't think I would. I was in that sort of arrangement once before set up by mother and relatives. The idea is you're to marry the one you're matchmade with, soon. I don't like how it's so.. rushed and you have to set a date of the marriage. If I wanna be matchmade, I want to make sure I get to know the person first.

In general though, I think it can be a benefit to some who may not care much about what I mentioned and thinks that yes it will save a lot of time in finding someone. Whether it will work out or not.. I guess they'll find out later.

I'll say that my parents were matchmade and their marriage lasted till my father passed away. They were also from 2 totally different backgrounds with 2 different languages so.. my dad used to always tell me, "When I'm talking to your mother, it's like chicken talking to a duck." because of the language barrier.. over time they learned each other's words and expressions.. it was cute but it could lead to some crazy ass arguments too.

 

[Tiina63]

I might give it a try as online dating hasn't yet worked for me and it can be good to consider all options. I would go to a professional though, rather than letting someone I know set me up with a date, because if the date didn't work out, I wouldn't have a disappoi- ted friend/neighbour/whoever to have to explain to. one of my cousins once set me up with a date and it did 't work out, then when I told her, she was very put out by this.

 

[Solivagant]

The idea is you're to marry the one you're matchmade with, soon.

I think modern Western matchmaking is different from Eastern matchmaking. They usually only agree to help people who are serious about finding a long-term relationship, but the expectation of imminent marriage isn't there. They just try to help you find someone you like.

one of my cousins once set me up with a date and it did 't work out, then when I told her, she was very put out by this.

That's not surprising. People tend to think very highly of their interpersonal "skills" and take it personally when a situation where their advice was taken does not work out as they expected.

 

[Rosebolt]

I would never ever do that. It seems like both a coward's way out, or simply missing out on part of the fun and challenge.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't think I would. I was in that sort of arrangement once before set up by mother and relatives. The idea is you're to marry the one you're matchmade with, soon. I don't like how it's so.. rushed and you have to set a date of the marriage. If I wanna be matchmade, I want to make sure I get to know the person first.

Perhaps that's why the idea flies over my head. Marriage. I'd most likely never do it.

 

[painter's radio]

Hell no I wouldn't. Unless I knew the matchmaker very, very well, and they also knew me very well, like we were soulmates. In which case, maybe I could date the matchmaker if it were female. But if it were male, he'd probably end up not telling me about the woman he found for me and date her himself, that ******* imaginary matchmaker.
Most of the time I don't really know what I'm looking for myself, so I wouldn't expect someone else to. I know what I like in people of course, but I don't really know what I'm looking for anymore. I'm quite the scatterbrain these days.
I think for me, this is a case of "If you want something done right, do it yourself". But I'm sure it would work for some people.

 

[Case]

I would not go for a matchmaker because no one knows me better than me, and I would be paying someone to open his or her iPad or laptop and match me with someone else based on what? Intuition? This made more sense when the dating pool was small and the matchmakers arranged marriages because you got who you got. But now, in a digital age, I don't see it as any different than a hired personal assistant who'd go out and get my morning coffee, except here it's to get my morning romantic possibilities. If a computer algorithm can't find me someone suitable, I don't see a matchmaker as any better. (But, I could be wrong. )

However, I'd be open to a friend who wanted me to meet her friend in the off chance that we "ckicked." At least my friends knows me and has my best interests at heart.

 

[kamya]

[video=youtube]

Pretty good with their hands :O

 

[Littlesecret]

[video=youtube]

Pretty good with their hands :O

Well done to those guys, that looks soo tedious. If I had to do that job I would use the matches to burn the whole place down. Or quit!

 

[ardour]

A matchmaker to set up dates, or an arranged marriage? The former is fine, although I doubt any of the good "matches" would be more likely to want me. A third party's perspective could be valuable though, you never know...

The later, absolutely not.

 

[Solivagant]

A matchmaker to set up dates, or an arranged marriage?

Not the arranged marriage kind of matchmaking. I was only referring to the kind where you hire someone to set up dates for you.

 

[Rosewood]

If there was a person with some mystical powers. Yes.I would try that. Centuries old march makers were to ensure women and men from the right village/family married correctly. Astrology/lineage.money/status/ and all sorts of tactics have been used. They make about as much sense as 100 questions on E-Harmony but I am not sure that any method works for screening out plain crazies. Last guy I lived with moved a nephew in and started using drugs. I had dated him for a year and went to the same University before I moved in. 6 months i was out with no forwarding contact information.