Would you say this is normal?

[tedgresham]

The word for that is longing. I agree with everyone else, it's a normal experience to feel longing, even when you have others. It's better than apathy but more painful, of course. I've felt that way. I'm an affection addict and my wife is the opposite. There's been times I just wanted to scream for want of a hug, an assurance that I am important. I'm lucky these days, my kids are huggers like me. But still, there's emptiness, especially when the week days come and I'm here by myself all day. Seasons affect me. Fall really screws me over. Always has. Through the years after loosing people I care about I want THEIR hugs. Goddammit, I think, I just don't want to live another day. But it always goes on bye. I have to remind myself that "this too will pass."

There's a few things I can do to break out of that. One is to reach around and drag my ass up and do something different. Ever once in a while I can just stomp and curse and scream and get it out of my system. Sometimes, though, I just wallow in it. I play forlorn music and sink into the muck. It will burn out. It's like when you eat the same thing over and over until you just never want to look at it. It's not real popular in our culture but having a personal pity party when we're alone is kind'a cathartic. Nothing cleans out cobwebs in our heart and guts like bawling our eyeballs out, whether you soak up a pillow or they're all inside. Most important is to learn to believe in yourself and your own value. Affection is validation and if we can't get it we have to validate ourselves.

Too bad hugs are not transmittable through email, right?

 

[nerdygirl]

Even from birth, humans need touch to thrive. As we age, there are more people who like physical affection than those who do not. Even people who don't especially like touching or being touched eventually need some form of contact.

Have you considered massage therapy? I have clients who come in for massage specifically because they don't have anybody else to touch them. They're usually elderly, with spouses who have passed on and their kids are never around. Just lonesome people who really need some time with somebody touching them.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Even from birth, humans need touch to thrive. As we age, there are more people who like physical affection than those who do not. Even people who don't especially like touching or being touched eventually need some form of contact.

Have you considered massage therapy? I have clients who come in for massage specifically because they don't have anybody else to touch them. They're usually elderly, with spouses who have passed on and their kids are never around. Just lonesome people who really need some time with somebody touching them.

Massage therapy? That's indeed an interesting thought!

Plus I generally have enough stress in my life to make my hair stand on end, so maybe I should look into that. Cheers, NerdyGirl.

Also thanks for the heartfelt reply Ted. It's good to know that many people get this same thing.

Was playing an online game with some overseas friends of mine the other day. At one point I heard one suddenly exclaim something in an audibly annoyed fashion. He then explained his girlfriend was trying to massage his shoulders, but she was apparently breaking his gaming concentration.

It took every ounce of my polite refinement not to yell "Oh, you ungrateful tool!"

 

[nerdygirl]

Massage therapy? That's indeed an interesting thought!

Plus I generally have enough stress in my life to make my hair stand on end, so maybe I should look into that. Cheers, NerdyGirl.

By the way, I just reread what I said and I'm glad you didn't take it the way I wrote it. I inadvertently implied it was more for elderly people. This is the case for most of my clients, regardless of why they come in... after all, I live in a place mostly populated by elderly!

You should definitely give it a shot. If you find it out of your budget to go as often as you need, you should see if you can find a massage school near you. It's always one of the cheapest ways to get a massage, and you're not supposed to tip.

 

[ThePretender]

I've heard that if you are one to crave social interaction & are getting none, then that could be more damaging to your health even more so than excercising & eating healthy.

I get these urges as well, but have learned to cope with it. Tommorrow is a new day & hopefully the cravings will subside.