Yeah, another "Never had a girlfriend" post

[Shiloh253]

Thought I was doing okay at the whole "being alone forever" thing until today. My friend back home just got married. My roommate tried to get me to ask out some girl he knew, but all she said (with what I'll say is a look of mild disgust on her face) that she "had to do some stuff." Another buddy just started dating a new girl at our school.

I can't keep doing this. Every day is getting harder. I followed people's advice; picked up some hobbies, spent more time around other people, tried to put myself out there but nothing works. Every time I try to edge my way past the "Hi, how're you?" stage it all falls apart. I'm giving up. Some people are made for this, apparently I'm just not one of them.

You know, Shiloh....sometimes, the timing in our lives just isn't opportune for finding a potential partner. The reasons will vary, from person to person, but don't give up just yet. I understand (from experience) how difficult it can be to be alone. I'm not discounting your loneliness at all - but please give it some time. There every reason to believe, that at some point, things will line up and you will be fortunate enough to find someone.

Then when is the timing going to be right? When I'm 25? 30? 40? 50? Because if that's the case I'm not going to force myself to be miserable just to wait 20 years for a girl to show the slightest interest in me.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to lash out but I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out. It'd probably be a lot more simple that way anyway.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Thought I was doing okay at the whole "being alone forever" thing until today. My friend back home just got married. My roommate tried to get me to ask out some girl he knew, but all she said (with what I'll say is a look of mild disgust on her face) that she "had to do some stuff." Another buddy just started dating a new girl at our school.

I can't keep doing this. Every day is getting harder. I followed people's advice; picked up some hobbies, spent more time around other people, tried to put myself out there but nothing works. Every time I try to edge my way past the "Hi, how're you?" stage it all falls apart. I'm giving up. Some people are made for this, apparently I'm just not one of them.

You know, Shiloh....sometimes, the timing in our lives just isn't opportune for finding a potential partner. The reasons will vary, from person to person, but don't give up just yet. I understand (from experience) how difficult it can be to be alone. I'm not discounting your loneliness at all - but please give it some time. There every reason to believe, that at some point, things will line up and you will be fortunate enough to find someone.

Then when is the timing going to be right? When I'm 25? 30? 40? 50? Because if that's the case I'm not going to force myself to be miserable just to wait 20 years for a girl to show the slightest interest in me.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to lash out but I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out. It'd probably be a lot more simple that way anyway.

Don't worry about lashing out - Im not offended. I understand the frustration.
While I HAVE been in relationships, I'm now 46 years old and have no partner.

 

[Darrell_Licht]

I don't know anyone who had anybody steady when they were 20.

Methinks you should just lighten up and take things as they come. You'll attract more women when they see you don't have this over concern with status and whether or not you have a girlfriend etc. wearing over your demeanor. Consider the other dead-beats who get into relationships for crissakes.. You're really worried about 'status and achievements'?

It's also possible that you are holding out or feel entitled somehow for the more nubile variety rather than what's available.. But i did not read the thread in its entirety.

 

[ardour]

It's probably best not to be in a long term relationship at your age. You've got a good 4-5 years to find someone before it gets difficult.

I wouldn't worry. If you have female friends, and women don't seem to avoid you altogether, you'll be fine.

 

[Shiloh253]

It's probably best not to be in a long term relationship at your age. You've got a good 4-5 years to find someone before it gets difficult.

I wouldn't worry. If you have female friends, and women don't seem to avoid you altogether, you'll be fine.

Two problems: I'm not looking for a long-term relationship, just someone to spend some time with that isn't just a friend, and 2) apparently they are.

 

[Kromagg73]

Shiloh, i know how you feel, before i met my wife i was 21. Never once did i have a date and honestly i thought i was ugly. I am actually good looking, but i put myself down a lot. I was not popular in school, i was shy and never had the guts to ask anyone. It just so turned out, that where i worked i saw her. I knew she was the one for me, i took the courage to ask her "would you like to do something sometime?" , obviously i was too shy to say date lol. Sometimes when you look for love, it will never happen. I suggest just start talking with others, and i can guarantee you that love will find you.

A few years ago my brother told me of this virtual game, you can meet lots of friends from all over the world, you can try it and maybe you'll meet someone. It's called Second Life , just goto www.secondlife.com to sign up, plus you can get the viewer (program to log into) from www.firestormviewer.com , most say it's a bad game, but you can make a lot of friends and there's so much more to do than what people make it out to be. Hope that helps.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Whenever I see SecondLife, I never think good things...

But I agree with this notion:

Methinks you should just lighten up and take things as they come. You'll attract more women when they see you don't have this over concern with status and whether or not you have a girlfriend etc. wearing over your demeanor.

Maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe they don't. But if you worry, you might overlook.

 

[M_also_lonely]

So I am not the only person in the world who is suffering this.Even I never had a girlfriend.I cant imagine myself making a girl wanting to be with me, holding my hand or smiling when I
call them.You talking about kiss, well no girl has even smiled at me.And I am 20 too.Even I cant imagine myself a lovable person bcz I have never been loved. Even I dont know how it feels like when you being loved, taken care of, by a person you love.

 

[Shiloh253]

Sorry I haven't replied folks, I was gone on a hunting trip for a few days.

And I guess it's officially been another year of life without someone willing to share it with me. Turned 21 a few days ago. It was bittersweet, to say the least.

 

[Darrell_Licht]

Sorry I haven't replied folks, I was gone on a hunting trip for a few days.

And I guess it's officially been another year of life without someone willing to share it with me. Turned 21 a few days ago. It was bittersweet, to say the least.

It's bittersweet for everyone. Gotta keep on your toes y'know..

 

[Shiloh253]

Can I just give up yet? It seems like the easiest solution at this point.

 

[Frodothelost]

hello there ! and welcome to the forum.
keep patience buddy its just 20 years passed you have all life left still you'll have one cmon your strong. just see you never ever had hug or kissed your so lucky that your gonna have true love. i see this you can wait ok? dont give up so easily. there are other way to have someone in life but i think that'll be fake. real one is here in the earth but its not the time thats why your not getting her wait and wait and help yourself theres always hope.

 

[Shiloh253]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

 

[Triple Bogey]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

yeah but that is just one person's opinion of you. Not necessary everybody.

 

[Shiloh253]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

yeah but that is just one person's opinion of you. Not necessary everybody.

Perhaps, but that one person single-handedly destroyed whatever shred of self confidence I had left.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

yeah but that is just one person's opinion of you. Not necessary everybody.

Perhaps, but that one person single-handedly destroyed whatever shred of self confidence I had left.

it can be built up again.

Somebody who calls a person a 'creep' isn't worth knowing or taking notice of. I've been called all sorts. It's just name calling, doesn't make it true.

 

[ardour]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

Who was this - a male "friend"? He isn't your friend, fresia him. Female acquaintance? Avoid her and her friends. She's not worth a 'hi'.

Some advice - and it's not to imply that you bad look creepy - but maybe shave off the beard and perhaps consider contact lenses or different glasses. Changing your appearance can help you drop off the radars of the nastier people out there, since they no longer get as much social kudos in slamming you behind your back.

 

[Shiloh253]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

Who was this - a male "friend"? He isn't your friend, fresia him. Female acquaintance? Avoid her and her friends. She's not worth a 'hi'.

Some advice - and it's not to imply that you bad look creepy - but maybe shave off the beard and perhaps consider contact lenses or different glasses. Changing your appearance can help you drop off the radars of the nastier people out there, since they no longer get as much social kudos in slamming you behind your back.

It was just some random person who lives across the hall from me. I don't even know her, which somehow makes it feel worse.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I overheard someone talking about me in the dayroom of our dorm this morning and stopped to listen around the corner.

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy. Not really a surprise that he's never had a girlfriend."

Remind me to be much more careful in the future with who I tell information like that. Just the kind of confidence boost I needed today...

Well that was rude of her. You may be creepy, but so what? I know a few creepy people, and there's nothing wrong with them. In fact, I live with one. Ignore her and her rude comment. She doesn't even know you. That just looks stupid on her behalf.

 

[ardour]

Well that was rude of her. You may be creepy, but so what? I know a few creepy people and there's nothing wrong with them. In fact, I live with one. Ignore her and her rude comment. She doesn't even know you. That just looks stupid on her behalf.

Creepy/creep has become synonymous with would-be sex offender, pervert or an obsessive stalker type of person. It implies dangerous, as opposed to just weird or unpleasant. It's a complete condemnation. That's why it sucks to be called that.