Zombie attack!

[darkwall]

I have been having recurrent zombie dreams for years now. They're not nightmares, just unalterable facts about the strangely cohesive dream world I inhabit nightly. In many of these dreams, I live in my normal house with my family but with a "security maze" outside, and for instance yesterday part of the dream was that as a chore I had to clear out the security maze, which involved grabbing a zombie by its hair and twisting its head off. Zombies, as with other things in life, quickly grow mundane.

What do the dreams mean? I think that my fascist subconscious is trying to express my feelings of intellectual isolation in the bluntest terms possible. While I am constantly surrounded by people my own age, I never talk about the things I am interested in - and instead am part of this dumbed-down system - is it any wonder that I dream of being at zombie discos?

And isn't it tragic that we're willing to face cancer, schizophrenia, and liver diseases just to get past that feeling of distance from each other? I only get to talk to people when I'm stoned, and even then I'm only allowed to be funny. I only get to tell the truth when I'm drunk, and only because we'll forget it in the morning. I am surrounded by things lacking in substance - by a numbed mass that hungers for only one thing.

Remember – my peers are extremely talented. Some of their films are much better than I could do; the artwork, the photography I see is often marvellous. I do not really think that they are thoughtless: but to hear their conversations around each other, and speak to them yourself, you would believe it.

If I go to this party in two days, I'll speak to people about films and music - of course, one is not allowed to like anything else. Except of course, what course we're on. With my friends, I'll limit myself to short anecdotes and observations. But it's this feeling of aridity that permeates my life - repetition, distance, and meaninglessness. Why are we not permitted to speak with each other as if we're all human?

 

[epileptic]

I have been having recurrent zombie dreams for years now. They're not nightmares, just unalterable facts about the strangely cohesive dream world I inhabit nightly. In many of these dreams, I live in my normal house with my family but with a "security maze" outside, and for instance yesterday part of the dream was that as a chore I had to clear out the security maze, which involved grabbing a zombie by its hair and twisting its head off. Zombies, as with other things in life, quickly grow mundane.

What do the dreams mean? I think that my fascist subconscious is trying to express my feelings of intellectual isolation in the bluntest terms possible. While I am constantly surrounded by people my own age, I never talk about the things I am interested in - and instead am part of this dumbed-down system - is it any wonder that I dream of being at zombie discos?

And isn't it tragic that we're willing to face cancer, schizophrenia, and liver diseases just to get past that feeling of distance from each other? I only get to talk to people when I'm stoned, and even then I'm only allowed to be funny. I only get to tell the truth when I'm drunk, and only because we'll forget it in the morning. I am surrounded by things lacking in substance - by a numbed mass that hungers for only one thing.

Remember – my peers are extremely talented. Some of their films are much better than I could do; the artwork, the photography I see is often marvellous. I do not really think that they are thoughtless: but to hear their conversations around each other, and speak to them yourself, you would believe it.

If I go to this party in two days, I'll speak to people about films and music - of course, one is not allowed to like anything else. Except of course, what course we're on. With my friends, I'll limit myself to short anecdotes and observations. But it's this feeling of aridity that permeates my life - repetition, distance, and meaninglessness. Why are we not permitted to speak with each other as if we're all human?

This is something that I am actually working on. Trying to be more open about who I am and what I believe in. Ive always had issues with depression and anxiety, especially when handling some sort of social situation. Like making a phone call about making some sort of appointment. It was like pulling teeth for me to be able to do this. Either way, I am getting better at it and dont suffer from anxiety anymore. If I come across a certain situation that I feel is uncomfortable, I try and confront it. Obviously Im still reserved about what comes out of my mouth regarding certain topics.. Ya know, people dont like it when you tell them that their beliefs are contradictory. I guess you need to observe certain people to see what topics they consider offensive, and how close minded some of their views might be, or if they are very open minded and open for discussion. Either way, I love me some good intellectual debate/conversation.. very stimulating