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28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
05-08-2007, 11:28 PM
Post: #1
28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
Im just another quarter life loser (28 yrs old) still living with my parents in fact I always live with them, never had a job, has no friends (stopped making friends since I was 13), no support network apart from ol google, never had a girlfriend and if you havent guess by now i am still a virgin and most likely will never get married. Lately I realise that my entire existence has been a downward spiral ever since I was born. Everything i tell you is the truth.

I always tell myself I love solitude. Try to believe its better without friends, ive been hiding for just over 14 years now. I found a pot when I was 14, it was then I realised I disliked myself. I stopped going to school, never finished high school and certainly never had a college education. All I did to this day was stay at home and smoking pot was my life.

Only till I was 27 I realise that something was wrong with me as my clothes got darker and so did my mind. The only thing good this year (2007) is that I stopped smoking pot. But the depression got worse. I could only hide in the dark for so long, the year is 2007 and i still wasnt really going out of the house. But i was kinda positive and started to look at myself more, Sadly i still didnt go out much and that state of mind lasted for 6 months. I have been dead for too long. Now im bored, no confidence, no social skills and certainly my self esteem is so low. Ive never had a job, I know I have to make a change right now, but where do I start. I cant hide anymore. Im sick of being weak and alone, but i know i am the only one that can help myself. I dont know where to start.

I wanted to change and do something you know be happy and be successful one day.

My question is everything to late for me to start all over again and change things around at the old age of 27, is there any chance i will ever get a good job, be successful, get married and have children?? Is it still possible even though i never graduated from high school??

Please reply guys i really really need some help before its all too late.
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05-09-2007, 01:53 AM
Post: #2
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
well im in a simular situation as you but im 23, had a long term relationship and atm living with my parents (even though i thought i would be living on my own about now). And im sure my social skills suck as much as yours does because i cant seem to make new friends at all. As for job i work at UPS partime and planning to go to school this summer. Ive also kinda fooled myself telling myself that solitude is a little piece of mind which i like.

I thought about what i was going to do for a while espically recently when i finally got control over my depression. I now plan to go to school and get a degree from a community college to become an officer or a firefighter, firefighter i know will require much more work. I know i should have gotten a start on all this a few years ago but starting now at least is better then not starting at all i figure. If i was in your shoes i would study up a bit and get your GED, then go to school as well which is all very possible. All you can really do is start walking in the right direction. Thats all we both can do, and hope things (marriage, good job, be sucessful) fall in place on the way.

I tell myself i dont have to be a great man, just a good one.
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05-09-2007, 03:53 AM
Post: #3
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late
Michael,

You are a very long way from being too late. The answer is in your post- You are only a quarter of the way through life. You've not even been an adult for 10 years yet. I know that's a long time when you are living through it but many people are in your situation in their 20's. It doesn't help that others race on at different speeds. Many people find what you are looking for in their 30's, many find it in their teens. People like me had it but lost it all in our thirties so you never, never know what's coming next.

Having stopped weed will make all the difference, that's how I killed my boredom for years too so I have been there. 6 months is enough to give your motivation a boost but your morale will take a bit longer.

Would you ever have posted here when you were stoned or would you just have chilled and ignored your situation? Try to think of the extra things you want to do now as positives, even if you are not yet doing them.

My experience is that there is a lag between wanting to do make some change and it actually starting to show concrete results. Plus I also found a strange sort of mental hangover when I stopped smoking that, I'm sorry to say, lasted longer than 6 months. That's not really surprising though if weed has been a crutch for so many years. I wept for no reason and was, at the same time, filled with a restless energy that was unpleasant. And I could not sleep. Maybe you recognise a bit of this?

I'm happy to talk more about this if you want.

Good luck,

Michael
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05-09-2007, 04:19 AM
Post: #4
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
Michael-

It's not too late! There are so many things you can do.

First, register here. We're glad to have you. Second, like motiv said, start studying and get you GED. Once you do that you can either get a job or apply to community colleges. Depending on what kind of job you want, you may need a college degree or you may just need the GED. If you have a job or are in school, you'll find that your life is much better. You'll have some day-to-day goals, and you'll be able to meet people.

Now, on the personal side of your life- it's definitely not too late for you to find friends or a relationship. Or at least I hope not. I'm 25 and I've never had any real friends, and I've never had so much as a single date. I'm still holding out hope (it's slim, but it's there).

I also recommend volunteering while you work on your GED or if you have trouble finding a job right away. I suggest this to almost everyone because I think volunteer work is a great way to stay active, meet people, and feel like you are actually contributing to the world.
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05-09-2007, 08:28 AM
Post: #5
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
Hey look at it this way: 30 is the new 20. I'm serious! People are taking a lot longer these days to grow up and to move out of their parent's house. Women and men are putting off marriage until their late 20's or even mid 30's. There's no need to panic. You have plenty of time to get your life going in the direction you'd like it to.

Number one congratulations on kicking the pot. I think daily smoking of pot would rob you of a lot of energy and desire to move forward with your life. So that explains a lot and you should not feel bad. You were caught in a bad place for a while. But you've put yourself through a hard time to get off it.

Think about what you want from life. I would suggest thinking about things you like to do or think you would like to do. If that is too much then start with things you hate. For example I hate math and science so I can rule out a lot of the current jobs in computers and the medical field. Second I hate authority so I can forget the military or police fields. Boom that's like 60 percent of jobs right there!

Come on register so we can send you PMs. Smile
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05-09-2007, 09:48 AM (This post was last modified: 05-10-2007 04:51 AM by Jeremi.)
Post: #6
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late
I agree with what everyone said. It's absolutely not too late. It's never too late. Maybe you can't get children when you're 80, but it's never too late to find a friend, or somebody to love. You're only 28! You're young man! ^^

It's sounds like you're on the right track. You've stopped smoking pot, that's great, and you're starting to know yourself better. That's a very good start. Like lonelygirl said, try and think of things that you like, what you want to do in life. I'm sure there are plenty of ways for you to get an education. I'm sure you could also make a friend or two from that. Don't expect it all to happend at once though. Take one step at a time, because it's not to late, remember? You have plenty of time!

"Whatever you're looking for
You better stop looking behind
Whatever you want to change
You better start changing your mind
'Cause anything can be done
Stand up 'cause this is your time"
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05-09-2007, 02:43 PM
Post: #7
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
If you need a job, try applying at a fast food place. They won't care if you haven't had experience.
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05-10-2007, 01:54 AM
Post: #8
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
i know the same feelings,i think the ame thing
im 35 almost 36 and i have 3 kids some teens some small
and i dont have any job skills ,nofriends, no relatives and never lived on my own
havent lived in america since i was a child and am thinking of going it out on my own while takeing care of my babies,its terrifying i am scared each time i look at the internet on searches
but being single and still in your 20s without any dependents on you ,is a enviable position
i would love it if i had famly to live with , no worries for anyone but me and was younger again.
its not too late but dont wait till it is
also dont be picky take a step any step
take a job in fast fod lke they said it isnt picky,even if it doesnt last its a start
ask some chick out maybe start with a not attractive girl or a cute but heavy girl or a older girl or a single mother or a girl with disabilities there are plenty who want and would love a bf but if you are too picky everything will pass you by
did you see 40 year old vigin? funny movie
losen up yoour situation could be worse,things will get better
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05-10-2007, 02:42 AM
Post: #9
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
the mere fact that you are questioning your state right now means you can change for the better and that its not too late...

look for a job that interests you or something that you are pretty good at.. ;-)

"YOU CAN DO IT" ;-)
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05-10-2007, 03:42 AM
Post: #10
RE: 28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??
ITS NEVER TOO LATE! Unless the bus came at 5:00 and you showed up at 5:10... But there will always be another bus...
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