Beginning to feel suicidal

[TheRealCallie]

It's hard to say, you've only got 4 minutes per person. I'm not so naive as to say I was absolutely perfect, but I made people laugh and showed genuine interest as to what they did for fun. Nobody asked me where I lived or what car I drove, all they knew is that I am a muscular engineer who can make them laugh, and 100% of them still said 'no'.

Okay, but was it an actual laugh or that stupid laugh women do when they think they should and it's not real? Some women also laugh when they are nervous. Women are weird and sometimes stupid creatures, but we are not all created equal, so that's a plus. lol

 

[user 139760]

dating sites and apps are a marvel for all of us and we are blessed to live in this age ... first you can easily filter out from the start what is / isn't suitable ... then you can be spared the embarrassment or pain to reject / being rejected with no need to meet in person, just after some honest and to the point conversation, all under the protection of anonymity ... and the selection pool is extended to the entire country and world

I agree with your premise, but not your conclusion.
You can filter EXACTLY what you want. But when you don't get exactly what you want, it starts to play on your mind, makes you feel depressed, unwanted, unappreciated...but in general, in life, you never get exactly what you want. There's way too much diversity out there. This holds true for men as well as women.

So dating apps? I think they di far more harm than good. But hey...not likely to disappear, it's easy to make money off of lonely, desperate people. It's also, despite what owners would like everyone to believe, a rather despicable move.
But they're rolling around in paid limos, what do they care...

 

[Unsigned]

chadrones

Sounds like something I'd order at a Puerto Rican restaurant...

 

[Cherubino]

I agree with your premise, but not your conclusion.
You can filter EXACTLY what you want. But when you don't get exactly what you want, it starts to play on your mind, makes you feel depressed, unwanted, unappreciated...but in general, in life, you never get exactly what you want. There's way too much diversity out there. This holds true for men as well as women.

So dating apps? I think they di far more harm than good. But hey...not likely to disappear, it's easy to make money off of lonely, desperate people. It's also, despite what owners would like everyone to believe, a rather despicable move.
But they're rolling around in paid limos, what do they care...

I think the amount of money you pay for the service is affordable and totally worth it ... the first condition for e-dating to work is to have a highly populated database so the more men and women are participating the more chances they get ... secondly people must be honest when they give data about themselves (they have all the interest to do so and so much easier from the comfort of being anonymous) ... and that's all, the machines take care of the rest and answer your queries accurately ... so if someone is emotionally disturbed by the output of the service they should ask themselves if they have enough knowledge about how the thing works

 

[user 139760]

I think the amount of money you pay for the service is affordable and totally worth it ... the first condition for e-dating to work is to have a highly populated database so the more men and women are participating the more chances they get ... secondly people must be honest when they give data about themselves (they have all the interest to do so and so much easier from the comfort of being anonymous) ... and that's all, the machines take care of the rest and answer your queries accurately ... so if someone is emotionally disturbed by the output of the service they should ask themselves if they have enough knowledge about how the thing works

Hmmm...I don't really think so to be honest. I mean, what is, let's say a gold or whatever mebership deal on Tumble or whatever dating app there is right now that isn't Tinder lol (Tried it briefly a while back). 20-30-40 a month? A lot of singles nowadays will be the younger crowds (30 and lower) or the older crowds (mid 50's and up). Many of whom, as we can see from members on this site, are desperate and loney. The younger crowds might not gave the financial means or priorities to pay for, let's say 200-500 max a year dollars for membership, so most have the free option. Which of course doesn't really work well, because the entire concept of the thing is to MAKE you get their membership. Which oft leads to nore distress, I think. The older crowds have the money, but also, usually, less patience and more pickyness...so it's a different angle on the same result, I think.

I see it kind of as sollicitation to vulnerable people, tbh. Of course, let's not even go to how people use it lol. Most use it in a very bad way for a variety of reasons.
I'm not saying it's always a bad idea or that it doesn't work. I'm saying if you take the positive on one side, put it on a scale against the negatives on the other, it weighs more heavily on the negative side of things.

 

[Cherubino]

Hmmm...I don't really think so to be honest. I mean, what is, let's say a gold or whatever mebership deal on Tumble or whatever dating app there is right now that isn't Tinder lol (Tried it briefly a while back). 20-30-40 a month? A lot of singles nowadays will be the younger crowds (30 and lower) or the older crowds (mid 50's and up). Many of whom, as we can see from members on this site, are desperate and loney. The younger crowds might not gave the financial means or priorities to pay for, let's say 200-500 max a year dollars for membership, so most have the free option. Which of course doesn't really work well, because the entire concept of the thing is to MAKE you get their membership. Which oft leads to nore distress, I think. The older crowds have the money, but also, usually, less patience and more pickyness...so it's a different angle on the same result, I think.

I see it kind of as sollicitation to vulnerable people, tbh. Of course, let's not even go to how people use it lol. Most use it in a very bad way for a variety of reasons.
I'm not saying it's always a bad idea or that it doesn't work. I'm saying if you take the positive on one side, put it on a scale against the negatives on the other, it weighs more heavily on the negative side of things.

I have no idea about how expensive really is in other countries but you can think of it as money you'd spent doing dating experiments IRL

 

[aviculari]

Have you thought about plastic surgery?

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Which ones are you using? I swear if you say Tinder I'm going to get out my frying pan. lol

I'm on the usual suspects; Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, POF, OKCupid etc.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

what or who does the matching ... an algorithm? ... I'm on a dating site for "normal" people because we don't have one for disabled in my country ... in my description section there I specify my shortcomings precisely because I don't have time to waste and they must know from the beginning ... naturally 99 percent of the women I write to give a zero or negative response as expected ... you're an engineer so I guess you know how to spot the failing part in your dating profile too

Erm, most seem to be based on location, though it seems likely that interests between two people will be highlighted.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Okay, but was it an actual laugh or that stupid laugh women do when they think they should and it's not real? Some women also laugh when they are nervous. Women are weird and sometimes stupid creatures, but we are not all created equal, so that's a plus. lol

I would say most were genuine laughs. The downside is that people do tend to ask a lot of the same questions, so you end up having the same conversation 12 times, I tried to ask more unique questions to mix it up.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Have you thought about plastic surgery?

If I had a specific thing I could pinpoint, I'm not against it. Though I think I'm something in the ballpark of normal, it does seem like a complete face/head transplant would probably do me a few favours.

 

[Unsigned]

I'm on the usual suspects; Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, POF, OKCupid etc.

So you haven't tried match?
I've had women message me on match.
Honestly, given my pickiness, they were not within the type I go for so I did not message them back, but since you said you are not that picky, it may work better for you.

Also, wanted to ask.
I get the impression you live in a smaller, maybe mid sized town. But not a big city like London or Birmingham, is that correct?
It makes a difference from what I have observed.
I have always lived in the suburbs. People who actually live in Manhattan seem to meet girls much more easily.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm on the usual suspects; Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, POF, OKCupid etc.

Well, you said Tinder, so you get the frying pan....



I know POF and OKCupid, I've heard of Hinge, but I don't really know Bumble. Get rid of Tinder. That's like the biggest hookup site there is, you likely won't find anything there. Have you tried the paid sites? Or even the unconventional ones? You're in the UK, so I don't know if you have "Farmer's only" or any of that type. Pretty sure there are some for nerds as well. Do you have like eharmony over there? Look around, see what other ones there are and try them, just make sure they aren't scammy ones, there are a lot of those out there too.

I would say most were genuine laughs. The downside is that people do tend to ask a lot of the same questions, so you end up having the same conversation 12 times, I tried to ask more unique questions to mix it up.

I would think that they would get bored after a while, so you're best bet is probably the first few girls. Maybe do some research and see the best way to approach that type of situation. In today's world, I'm sure there is some guide to speed dating out there somewhere on the internet. You need to stand out from the others.

If I had a specific thing I could pinpoint, I'm not against it. Though I think I'm something in the ballpark of normal, it does seem like a complete face/head transplant would probably do me a few favours.

Would you be willing to post a pic? No pressure, entirely your decision. Maybe complete strangers on the internet would be able to give you some truth. I don't know, I'm still thinking it's probably something minor that has nothing to do with your looks.

I get the impression you live in a smaller, maybe mid sized town. But not a big city like London or Birmingham, is that correct?
It makes a difference from what I have observed.

I live in the middle of nowhere and my only options seem to be arrogant donkeys and moronic rednecks. lol So yeah, location definitely plays a role.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

So you haven't tried match?
I've had women message me on match.
Honestly, given my pickiness, they were not within the type I go for so I did not message them back, but since you said you are not that picky, it may work better for you.

Also, wanted to ask.
I get the impression you live in a smaller, maybe mid sized town. But not a big city like London or Birmingham, is that correct?
It makes a difference from what I have observed.
I have always lived in the suburbs. People who actually live in Manhattan seem to meet girls much more easily.

I believe Match is a monthly paid only service, so I have not. I'm not strictly against paid sites, but with the abundance of free ones with thousands of users, it just seems a little daft.

Nope, I'm in a fairly big city (about 150K population), it's a vibrant student town. If I was in the middle of nowhere, I would of course be looking to move.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I know POF and OKCupid, I've heard of Hinge, but I don't really know Bumble. Get rid of Tinder. That's like the biggest hookup site there is, you likely won't find anything there. Have you tried the paid sites? Or even the unconventional ones? You're in the UK, so I don't know if you have "Farmer's only" or any of that type. Pretty sure there are some for nerds as well. Do you have like eharmony over there? Look around, see what other ones there are and try them, just make sure they aren't scammy ones, there are a lot of those out there too.



I would think that they would get bored after a while, so you're best bet is probably the first few girls. Maybe do some research and see the best way to approach that type of situation. In today's world, I'm sure there is some guide to speed dating out there somewhere on the internet. You need to stand out from the others.

Would you be willing to post a pic? No pressure, entirely your decision. Maybe complete strangers on the internet would be able to give you some truth. I don't know, I'm still thinking it's probably something minor that has nothing to do with your looks.


I live in the middle of nowhere and my only options seem to be arrogant donkeys and moronic rednecks. lol So yeah, location definitely plays a role.

Tinder, Bumble & Hinge are the biggest three apps with my generation, the last two in particular as they're designed to be safer places for women (in Bumble the women have to make the first move, for example), so of course I'm trying to be where the women are. I'm up for a hookup, so I'm not going to take myself off Tinder, you never know?

Ehh, I've sent pics of me to members here since they asked, but to be honest it seems quite fruitless because it just results in "Oh no, you're not ugly at all! If I was a single woman in your area I'd totally give you a chance!" which is a great platitude, but doesn't really achieve anything. At this point I could post a photo of The Elephant Man, and get the same result. Interesting fact, The Elephant Man married in his 20s; when The Elephant Man had a verifiably more successful dating life than you, you've got to sit yourself down and ask yourself some questions.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ehh, I've sent pics of me to members here since they asked, but to be honest it seems quite fruitless because it just results in "Oh no, you're not ugly at all! If I was a single woman in your area I'd totally give you a chance!" which is a great platitude, but doesn't really achieve anything. At this point I could post a photo of The Elephant Man, and get the same result. Interesting fact, The Elephant Man married in his 20s; when The Elephant Man had a verifiably more successful dating life than you, you've got to sit yourself down and ask yourself some questions.

Depends on the woman. Some are only going to tell you what you want to hear, with others, they will tell you the truth, highlight your strong points and potentially give you advice on distracting from the not so strong points.
But, if you've had compliments on how you look, it has to be something else right? Take a look at your mannerisms, how you sit, how you talk (tone and all that), what you say, what your body language is saying, etc....All that stuff speaks a lot louder than whatever words you are saying.

Also, are you going into it thinking you are going to fail and/or get rejected? Not saying you are, but I wanted to ask. If you are, that can often be seen by others that are watching you.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

See this is the thing, I am happy you said this as I’m sick of ppl asking me if I have seen someone I have obviously seen or wouldnt even be able to speak on how they look lol

Now ugly… if you was ugly you would know why, you’re not and thats an honest opinion… anyone white with blue eyes and over x height is not ugly in the UK its the literal standard.

Could you date the princess if she was single? No. Not due to looks though. Due to money, aggressiveness, dominance these traits are of high value to me. But I think most women are working class and like a sweet guy so no idea

So heres my latest list of possibilities

1. Poor hygiene or using aftershaves that clash rather than compliment
2. Not being more dominant about what you want.
3. Seem tooo up for a shag/meaningless
4. Poor attitude around money, not that you haven't got it but maybe you are too “cost effective” or too responsible with money
5. You can come across a little condescending? It’s attractive but also a red flag to feminists.
6. Some people on here think you are racist no idea why hopefully you dont give racey vibes in everyday life

 

[Cherubino]

Could you date the princess if she was single? No. Not due to looks though. Due to money, aggressiveness, dominance these traits are of high value to me. But I think most women are working class and like a sweet guy so no idea

hey do you like to be hit in the head?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

hey do you like to be hit in the head?

No I like to be strangled… why is this thread always about me, lets talk about the suicidal guy?

 

[Unsigned]

Could you date the princess if she was single?

Kate Middleton?