Finding love for the shy and 'lonely' person

[alonelyshyboy]

How??? It just seems almost nigh on impossible!

I am not a dork, nor 'uncool'. I am very much like your typical mid-20's kinda guy, but shy and a 'loner'.

 

[Leef `c]

How??? It just seems almost nigh on impossible!

I am not a dork, nor 'uncool'. I am very much like your typical mid-20's kinda guy, but shy and a 'loner'.

Yeah, same here.

 

[Chris 2]

Aww I wish I could lend you guys a hand, but I haven't be particularly successful at it myself but it continue to improve. I lack some quality in me that make me a lot harder than it has to be to look friendly. There is sadly however no medicine to cure shyness, and only you can change it. Normally the only medicine I can think off is alcohol but you don't want to look drunk other beside going to a bar/club etc... so that doesn't help. I find it best to have someone go with you but like the OP said he a loner, so that a no go. No worry, I myself am a loner, though I shouldn't be if it wasn't for my previous social anxiety crap.

Well take it from me with a grain of salt, but if anyone knew me in real life before this past year, I was the shyest person in my school. Sigh but I was voted most gayest guy in my senior yearbook, not because I was gay but because I could never talk to a girl, so everyone assume I was gay. I mean comon do I look gay? It just recently that I stop caring what other think of me, and I decided to approach the prettiest girl I know, and I actually help a long and interesting conversation. It really help commenting and I turn her frown upside down, and she start inviting me to meet her friend and etc... now there a sad ending but I won't get into it, as it just one of those many mistake in my life so far.

I never got to see her after (mistake) but I started to feel really confidence, started to dress nice, and before I know it, sometime girl approach me because off my fashion sense and after a few positive event that transpire, I am more confidence then I have ever been. Granted, I never got any girl phone number, but from what I been through and to what I am now is quite a accomplishment. And the most shocking surprise of this whole event is that once I start to talk to these girls, I never wanted it to end, and I love cracking jokes left and right, and it was simply amazing. I never even talk to a girl before or even know how to socialize but word just came out of head and through my heart, and it was genuine and that what really count.

Approaching a girl is the hardest part, but once you overcome that barrier talking is one of the most fun and fulfilling things in life.

Sorry if you guys are mentioning making friends rather than getting a gf


Chris

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Is that what you really need? Honestly.

I used to want someone really bad. Just wanting someone close by to talk to anytime and hang out but I was never myself when I felt I needed a girlfriend. I should also note that I am very shy as well.

When I had met someone that became a s/o I always felt underwhelmed by the experience. I became paranoid and more depressed. Even bored all the time. I knew deep down in this day and age some people out there just don't need a boyfriend of girlfriend for long periods of time and I am one of those people. If anyone thinks I'm gay or 'weird' about it (which a few ex-friends do think, even though I probably gained the most attention from women in my old group) then I just let it be now. I hope they are happy with their boring bourgeois lifestyle.

I finally realized that I cannot force love to come to me with the next girl that comes up. I need to stay focused on enriching my own life and just try to help out and have fun or make fun with whoever I meet in the future without them ever feeling I want to be 'attached' to them in any sense.

You need to find yourself. Build great things around you in your way. Out of all the places in the world we live in a dream world. Things can be a lot harder and sometimes you will hit a bad streak with someone but just believe in yourself. Enjoy yourself. Really believe in your wishes and try as many different things each day and they can come true and help you gain knowledge for yourself of your surroundings.

I know my angle may seem a little selfish. Sorry if it does and ignore what I have said.

 

[samba101]

God I'm not looking forward to finding a boyfriend, I've been single now for 1 1/2 years after a ten year relationship and wouldn't know where to look apart from the dating websites.

I'm not the greatest talker and have no idea how I'm going to start a conversation with my would be other than hold one.

I'm more quiet than shy, but panic whenever there's an uncomfortable silence, if only finding love was easy.

 

[Porman]

youl be fine, just dont let them see that your lonely and youl have to find a way to overcome your shyness. maybe just get used to talking to girls in general, even if its your friends girlfriend, just getting used to the way they work and how to talk to them. youl learn that girls arnt so scary.

 

[Outlawstarl337]

i never had a problem talking to the women but ever time it comes to asking one out or doing any thing like that i just uterly fail.

 

[Papabear]

talk to every woman you see. Seriously, force it.

The thing a lot of people don't realize is that you will fail more than you won't. All of these "players" fail more than they ever succeed, or at least have in the past.

Don't feel down, is the person you failed with really the person you want to be with? (someone that doesnt actually want you).

Just don't look at a relationship for every person that you talk to.