How do I change this life, or get one really. I'm barely motivated to get a job (apply for about 1-2 a week) and when I do I either never hear back or get an interview then don't get the job. Doesn't seem like 1 single woman is interested in me. Have 1 friend. I've been to 3 therapists in the past 3yrs to which there was no outcome or change. Just said I was depressed. I attend college 3 days a week, but on the 4 days I'm not there, it's just depressing as hell. I'm starting to not like going college now because I'm 38 I just feel really old and outta place. Luckily I can get away with it 'cause I only look late 20's. I get on with people there pretty much but don't see anyone outside college as I feel so much older than'em. Hanging around with 17-20yo's at my age would seem weird. I do tend (and I put this down to habit and depression) spend a lot of time at college (when not in lessons obviously) sitting in the canteen or in this computer library area on my own, wondering why I've ended up here in my life and it's like no-one likes me. I don't really want to go out pubbing or clubbing as I don't drink or take drugs anymore. Anyway, I seriously need some help but don't have any answers or know where or who to turn to. What do I do? I live in England and need to know if there are any places I can go to get training or to fill my spare time up that are free for those on esa.
How Do I Change This Life
- Thread starter SimonT
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Triple Bogey
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SimonT said:
Getting a job is the main thing. It helps in many ways. Financial, you have more money to spend on stuff. Also you have less spare time, less time to get bored. You appreciate your spare time more. That Friday afternoon feeling when you have finished work for the week gives you a buzz. I would also suggest applying for any job, even one that you feel is way below your capabilities. Why don't you try retail ? It forces you to interact with people. People knowing you, saying your name, getting along with work colleagues all boost your self esteem.
The second thing is hobbies. Surely there is something you enjoy doing ? Try it, go out and do something. It doesn't have to involve other people.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
SimonT said:
What about charity shops ?
I know you won't get paid but it will occupy you and you will get to meet people.
LadyDaria
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I can sympathize. Though... I have a job. It is the worst job ever though. I hate everyone I work with. I feel like the "job" ruins my life but because it destroys me so, emotionally and physically when I apply for any other job my heart isn't in it, and people *pick up* on that. Thus it keeps me in this loop of stuck in my life.
I also feel like work should be an opportunity to make friends with people but, there aren't any. Mostly people want to drink, and I just do not like that. And then.. somehow they take offense that I don't want to go out with them. I don't want to go out with them because they want to drink. Why does it always have to be that?
I did something once, I don't know if you want to try it. I had been laid off and I was collecting unemployment and no one wanted to "hire" me. So at one interview I suggested that I work for free for 6 weeks and then he could hire me or not, but if not I would just ask for a good reference. I was counting on the guy being too lazy to want me out at the end of the term. He was... I was there for a year and it helped me get my current job. You have to pick the right employer.. someone who isn't like a big operation and has the flexibility to do it.
I also feel like work should be an opportunity to make friends with people but, there aren't any. Mostly people want to drink, and I just do not like that. And then.. somehow they take offense that I don't want to go out with them. I don't want to go out with them because they want to drink. Why does it always have to be that?
I did something once, I don't know if you want to try it. I had been laid off and I was collecting unemployment and no one wanted to "hire" me. So at one interview I suggested that I work for free for 6 weeks and then he could hire me or not, but if not I would just ask for a good reference. I was counting on the guy being too lazy to want me out at the end of the term. He was... I was there for a year and it helped me get my current job. You have to pick the right employer.. someone who isn't like a big operation and has the flexibility to do it.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
SimonT said:
good luck with it !
Not really found anything on there that has appealed to me yet. You can start your own group on there can't. I just need a job and a gf really. What do you do if seemingly you can't achieve either? I dob't know what's wrong with me and need some serious help. I am completely lost! !
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
SimonT said:
I would make getting a job your priority because it's a lot easier.
Girlfriends ? It's like trying to win the lottery jackpot !
Hi Simon, I really admire you for going back to education at 38. I went to FE college from 23 till 26 and I felt old compared to the teenagers, so I can only imagine how out of place you must be feeling. Is there not a group for mature students at your college? If not, maybe you could start one?
Voluntary work, as some people have suggested, is another good idea. It would fill up another couple of days a week and might lead to a paid job later on.
Voluntary work, as some people have suggested, is another good idea. It would fill up another couple of days a week and might lead to a paid job later on.
