I'm starting to understand why people become "players"

[Triple Bogey]

I've got coworkers that tell me that the way to meet women is to be a player or to "catfish" for one.
They say I have to stop being so nice to women if I want to find someone.

I point out that at my age, it's too late no matter what I try. ha ha ha!

There is more to life than women and relationships !

not really unless you include twiddling your thumbs high up on your list of things to do *laughs*

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

Good point. Also, you can always leave a relationship if you're unhappy, but if you're unhappy being single, you can't just summon a relationship out of thin air.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

Good point. Also, you can always leave a relationship if you're unhappy, but if you're unhappy being single, you can't just summon a relationship out of thin air.

The guy sounds very miserable and seems like he is wasting his life.

I think it is a shame.

I always think if you are that bothered then go down the 'mail order bride' route. It happens, it goes on. And it isn't always seedy. I see plenty of obvious couple who met like this and they seem happy enough. If you have the cash, look into it.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

Good point. Also, you can always leave a relationship if you're unhappy, but if you're unhappy being single, you can't just summon a relationship out of thin air.

The guy sounds very miserable and seems like he is wasting his life.

I think it is a shame.

I always think if you are that bothered then go down the 'mail order bride' route. It happens, it goes on. And it isn't always seedy. I see plenty of obvious couple who met like this and they seem happy enough. If you have the cash, look into it.

I do agree that it's not a good thing to let something you feel is out of your reach make you miserable, but I also sympathise, even empathise. You wouldn't tell a man dying of thirst in the desert to just accept it and move on, because there's people drowning right that would love to be in his position. Obviously, it's not as extreme as that, but we can't control what we want, and if you go long enough without having something important to you, it can hurt you pretty bad.

And really, do I even NEED to explain the problems with the mail order bride route? Do I really? All the ethical questions, risk of getting scammed and ending up with someone you KNOW only wants you for your money, there's no love there, it's all fake. You're better off just watching porn, at least you aren't getting used and aren't using someone.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

Good point. Also, you can always leave a relationship if you're unhappy, but if you're unhappy being single, you can't just summon a relationship out of thin air.

It's not always easy to just leave one either.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am sure a lot of men in relationships, miserable as hell would love to be in your shoes !

Why do you want a woman so much ?

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

Good point. Also, you can always leave a relationship if you're unhappy, but if you're unhappy being single, you can't just summon a relationship out of thin air.

The guy sounds very miserable and seems like he is wasting his life.

I think it is a shame.

I always think if you are that bothered then go down the 'mail order bride' route. It happens, it goes on. And it isn't always seedy. I see plenty of obvious couple who met like this and they seem happy enough. If you have the cash, look into it.

I do agree that it's not a good thing to let something you feel is out of your reach make you miserable, but I also sympathise, even empathise. You wouldn't tell a man dying of thirst in the desert to just accept it and move on, because there's people drowning right that would love to be in his position. Obviously, it's not as extreme as that, but we can't control what we want, and if you go long enough without having something important to you, it can hurt you pretty bad.

And really, do I even NEED to explain the problems with the mail order bride route? Do I really? All the ethical questions, risk of getting scammed and ending up with someone you KNOW only wants you for your money, there's no love there, it's all fake. You're better off just watching porn, at least you aren't getting used and aren't using someone.

You don't have to explain anything, pal.
I don't why people get so annoyed with the mail order bride thing.
It happens, People do it. Sometimes it seems to work. All this crap about no love involved, people need to wake up. For some people attracting a member of the opposite sex is ******* impossible. It will never happen. All of their lives. So why not give it a go ? Have that little bit of companionship in your life ?

What's your advice to the guy ?
Oh continue been ******* miserable for the rest of your life !

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I've got coworkers that tell me that the way to meet women is to be a player or to "catfish" for one.
They say I have to stop being so nice to women if I want to find someone.

I point out that at my age, it's too late no matter what I try. ha ha ha!

There is more to life than women and relationships !

not really unless you include twiddling your thumbs high up on your list of things to do *laughs*

Huh? I don't have a problem with people wanting to find romance. To each their own, etc. Should it be everyone's endgame in life? Not necessarily. I'm confused as to why you think there isn't much else in life.

 

[gluguy]

I actually rejected (at least) a dozen of people because I'm not a fan of "playing games" or "being a player" (I'm neither a fan of casual relationships in general). I'd rather be alone by my own rules than to be accompanied by people if that means to "give up" myself.

I always really hated that kind of thing. For example, there was that girl who really wanted to be in a relationship with me. Guess what? She already had a boyfriend. But instead of being with her boyfriend, she was always around with me, wanted to have programmes with me and even after the "Serenade" (the Evening after the Banquette in High School) she wanted me to escort her home even though his boyfriend was actually there. (She even tried to kiss me once - yup, again, during the same time she had a boyfriend.)

Call me an idiot, but I refused, every time. For many reasons that I'm willingly will post here if you insist, but long story short: I'm not the kind of person who'd do such a thing.

But it's just my own opinion. Also, there are other stories like this, but I think one of them is more than enough to demonstrate my statement.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

People can want what they want, and without much of any explanation. I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, or anything wrong with the opposite of not wanting a relationship. To each their own.

Good point. Also, you can always leave a relationship if you're unhappy, but if you're unhappy being single, you can't just summon a relationship out of thin air.

The guy sounds very miserable and seems like he is wasting his life.

I think it is a shame.

I always think if you are that bothered then go down the 'mail order bride' route. It happens, it goes on. And it isn't always seedy. I see plenty of obvious couple who met like this and they seem happy enough. If you have the cash, look into it.

I do agree that it's not a good thing to let something you feel is out of your reach make you miserable, but I also sympathise, even empathise. You wouldn't tell a man dying of thirst in the desert to just accept it and move on, because there's people drowning right that would love to be in his position. Obviously, it's not as extreme as that, but we can't control what we want, and if you go long enough without having something important to you, it can hurt you pretty bad.

And really, do I even NEED to explain the problems with the mail order bride route? Do I really? All the ethical questions, risk of getting scammed and ending up with someone you KNOW only wants you for your money, there's no love there, it's all fake. You're better off just watching porn, at least you aren't getting used and aren't using someone.

You don't have to explain anything, pal.
I don't why people get so annoyed with the mail order bride thing.
It happens, People do it. Sometimes it seems to work. All this crap about no love involved, people need to wake up. For some people attracting a member of the opposite sex is ******* impossible. It will never happen. All of their lives. So why not give it a go ? Have that little bit of companionship in your life ?

What's your advice to the guy ?
Oh continue been ******* miserable for the rest of your life !

I don't honestly have advice, other than I think he's exaggerating. I've seen the worst types of people, both physically and mentally end up in relationships. But, honestly, I struggle with the same issues, perhaps to a lesser extent, so yeah, I don't have anything to say.

Plus, I was explaining to you why a lot of people wouldn't want something like mail order brides. You didn't really refute anything I said, you just said "Well they should still give it a go if they are feeling desperate". Which, I honestly don't get the logic behind. It's like saying "Yo man, are you hungry, but don't have any food to eat? Well there's honeysuckle in your toilet isn't there?".

I feel like this is gonna piss you or other people off no matter how I word it, so I'm gonna leave you with this: Just because you can't get what you want, doesn't mean settling for a hollow lesser alternative will give you any satisfaction. Human psychology isn't that simple. And sometimes, losing that last bit of hope by settling for something like that can make things worse.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

I would have to agree with this. Not just for him, but most others as well. It's not appearance, but attitude that's very off-putting. Snappy, negative, scowling attitudes. Don't matter how handsome or beautiful someone is; If they've got a nasty attitude, that's pretty much the end of it for me.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

I would have to agree with this. Not just for him, but most others as well. It's not appearance, but attitude that's very off-putting. Snappy, negative, scowling attitudes. Don't matter how handsome or beautiful someone is; If they've got a nasty attitude, that's pretty much the end of it for me.

Agreed.

 

[blackdot]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

male model???? Are you drunk? ha ha ha

My problem is not looks or personality... it's that I don't know where women are located.
And yes, there have been a few women that wanted to sleep with me (most of them were married), but I'm not into sex, I'm into a relationship.

 

[blackdot]

I've got coworkers that tell me that the way to meet women is to be a player or to "catfish" for one.
They say I have to stop being so nice to women if I want to find someone.

I point out that at my age, it's too late no matter what I try. ha ha ha!

I believe because you know the term "catfish" your not that old

Actually, I don't know what catfishing is.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I've got coworkers that tell me that the way to meet women is to be a player or to "catfish" for one.
They say I have to stop being so nice to women if I want to find someone.

I point out that at my age, it's too late no matter what I try. ha ha ha!

I believe because you know the term "catfish" your not that old

Actually, I don't know what catfishing is.

2.
USinformal
lure (someone) into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.
"he was being catfished by a cruel prankster"

.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

male model???? Are you drunk? ha ha ha

My problem is not looks or personality... it's that I don't know where women are located.
And yes, there have been a few women that wanted to sleep with me (most of them were married), but I'm not into sex, I'm into a relationship.

You see, this is your problem. I offered you a compliment and some advice to work on yourself, and you proceeded to insult me and ignore my advice. It's a very childish way to act and not at all attractive.

 

[Xpendable]

I think people don't become players consciously. It has a lot to do with their options and ability to find hook ups.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

I think you are 100% correct about him.
I would give you a +1 but I can't for some reason.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

male model???? Are you drunk? ha ha ha

My problem is not looks or personality... it's that I don't know where women are located.
And yes, there have been a few women that wanted to sleep with me (most of them were married), but I'm not into sex, I'm into a relationship.

Poor form, the guy was trying to help you !