I'm starting to understand why people become "players"

[blackdot]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

 

[EveWasFramed]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

I didn't see an insult either. All I saw was a little self-deprication.

I've PMd with BD a couple of times. You can't tell 100% from on line of course, but his personality seems just fine to me. He has mentioned a lack of social interaction, if I recall correctly. I do believe him when he says opportunities to meet the opposite sex are simply limited.

 

[Paraiyar]

I've been here long enough to see Blackdot's picture. And to be honest, he is very good looking. Much better looking than me. BD looks like a male model.

For someone who looks like he does...I'm going to be blunt here...it's obviously his personality or something about how he comes across that is driving women off. No, looks aren't everything, and some guys and girls have terrible luck. But I refuse to believe that, going by the way he looks, no woman has ever been interested in him. Even for a one night stand. There is something about himself that scares off potential dates, and once he finds out what that is and fixes it, he'll have a line of women wanting to talk to him.

male model???? Are you drunk? ha ha ha

My problem is not looks or personality... it's that I don't know where women are located.
And yes, there have been a few women that wanted to sleep with me (most of them were married), but I'm not into sex, I'm into a relationship.

You see, this is your problem. I offered you a compliment and some advice to work on yourself, and you proceeded to insult me and ignore my advice. It's a very childish way to act and not at all attractive.

I don't think he was trying to insult you. Clearly he just thinks of his physical appearance very differently to how you think of it and he can't see where you're coming from. Having not seen what he looks like I couldn't give my opinion on the matter.

 

[ardour]

I don't see anything obviously wrong with blackdot's communication style either. And anyway you don't have to have a terrible personality to be written off.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I thought the "are you drunk?" was an insult. But I guess I was just tired. I had like 3 hours of sleep yesterday, and I probably would have been offended by anything.

I can understand living in a place where there is nobody who's single. What I can't understand is...why can't you move? Or take a vacation, at least, somewhere foreign? Lots of relationships start where one person is at an event a couple of hours drive, or in a different country, and he meets/she meets a girl/man. That's how one of my friends met his current girlfriend...he was away on a trip and he met someone; a year later, she changed jobs and moved here to be with him. And they're still together.

BD seems to be an okay guy, and he's definitely good looking. And 42 isn't old. People start new relationships in their 60's and 70's all the time. Instead of giving up, try more (maybe bad advice, but worth a shot?) And don't be so down on yourself?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't see anything obviously wrong with blackdot's communication style either. And anyway you don't have to have a terrible personality to be written off.

No, but it doesn't help either.

 

[Triple Bogey]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

I didn't see an insult either. All I saw was a little self-deprication.

I've PMd with BD a couple of times. You can't tell 100% from on line of course, but his personality seems just fine to me. He has mentioned a lack of social interaction, if I recall correctly. I do believe him when he says opportunities to meet the opposite sex are simply limited.

His attitude is poor, he feels sorry for himself too much.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I thought the "are you drunk?" was an insult. But I guess I was just tired. I had like 3 hours of sleep yesterday, and I probably would have been offended by anything.

I can understand living in a place where there is nobody who's single. What I can't understand is...why can't you move? Or take a vacation, at least, somewhere foreign? Lots of relationships start where one person is at an event a couple of hours drive, or in a different country, and he meets/she meets a girl/man. That's how one of my friends met his current girlfriend...he was away on a trip and he met someone; a year later, she changed jobs and moved here to be with him. And they're still together.

BD seems to be an okay guy, and he's definitely good looking. And 42 isn't old. People start new relationships in their 60's and 70's all the time. Instead of giving up, try more (maybe bad advice, but worth a shot?) And don't be so down on yourself?

It was an insult.

 

[Paraiyar]

I thought the 'hahaha' afterwards made it more lighthearted. Perhaps we Kiwi folk are just more brash in our communication since Ardour agrees with me and we both hail from NZ.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It was an insult.

It wasn't an insult. If he wanted to take it to heart, I suppose he can. But there was no insult. Self-deprication, as Eve said, absolutely. But no insult towards anyone else. "Are you drunk?" is quite a common thing to say to someone when they say something you just can't believe in, typically a compliment. There's no need to get hot about it.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I thought the 'hahaha' afterwards made it more lighthearted. Perhaps we Kiwi folk are just more brash in our communication since Ardour agrees with me and we both hail from NZ.

I thought the opposite.

 

[EveWasFramed]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

I didn't see an insult either. All I saw was a little self-deprication.

I've PMd with BD a couple of times. You can't tell 100% from on line of course, but his personality seems just fine to me. He has mentioned a lack of social interaction, if I recall correctly. I do believe him when he says opportunities to meet the opposite sex are simply limited.

His attitude is poor, he feels sorry for himself too much.

*snort*
There's nothing wrong with his attitude. He's entitled to his own opinions of himself - it doesn't mean he has a poor attitude.
He wasn't insulting anyone - hence the "ha ha ha."
It's also highly presumptuous to think he "feels sorry for himself too much."
Why are you needling him anyway? He comports himself very well and doesn't insult people here.

 

[blackdot]

*shrugs* I just see things how they are. It's not uncommon for people to take me the wrong way online because it's sometimes hard to portray things like sarcasm, humor, and playfulness in text. In the past I've had people online say I'm am a complete introvert who needs to get out while I've had people in real life ask me how I can be so extroverted and get along well with people.

Today I volunteered at the nature museum for a big event. I always love doing that but I find it stressful mentally because the only women there are ones that are married with kids, high school girls, or women 60+ years old. In all the years of volunteering there I don't think i have ever met someone middle aged and single.

 

[Triple Bogey]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

I didn't see an insult either. All I saw was a little self-deprication.

I've PMd with BD a couple of times. You can't tell 100% from on line of course, but his personality seems just fine to me. He has mentioned a lack of social interaction, if I recall correctly. I do believe him when he says opportunities to meet the opposite sex are simply limited.

His attitude is poor, he feels sorry for himself too much.

*snort*
There's nothing wrong with his attitude. He's entitled to his own opinions of himself - it doesn't mean he has a poor attitude.
He wasn't insulting anyone - hence the "ha ha ha."
It's also highly presumptuous to think he "feels sorry for himself too much."
Why are you needling him anyway? He comports himself very well and doesn't insult people here.

I see you've insulted me but you'll deny it of course like you always do. Why don't you make up some quote that I didn't say and get all your pals to insult me as well !

I'm not needling him anyway. I would like him to be more positive and happy that's all. Nothing wrong with that in my book. He feels sorry for himself too much. He is probably a really nice guy. He should realize that single can be better. He should be happy his life hasn't been ruined !

 

[EveWasFramed]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

I didn't see an insult either. All I saw was a little self-deprication.

I've PMd with BD a couple of times. You can't tell 100% from on line of course, but his personality seems just fine to me. He has mentioned a lack of social interaction, if I recall correctly. I do believe him when he says opportunities to meet the opposite sex are simply limited.

His attitude is poor, he feels sorry for himself too much.

*snort*
There's nothing wrong with his attitude. He's entitled to his own opinions of himself - it doesn't mean he has a poor attitude.
He wasn't insulting anyone - hence the "ha ha ha."
It's also highly presumptuous to think he "feels sorry for himself too much."
Why are you needling him anyway? He comports himself very well and doesn't insult people here.

I see you've insulted me but you'll deny it of course like you always do. Why don't you make up some quote that I didn't say and get all your pals to insult me as well !

I'm not needling him anyway. I would like him to be more positive and happy that's all. Nothing wrong with that in my book. He feels sorry for himself too much. He is probably a really nice guy. He should realize that single can be better. He should be happy his life hasn't been ruined !

Of course I'll deny it - there's no insult in my post ANYWHERE.
However, you insulted HIM and it simply wasn't called for.
As for me making up quotes, wtf are you talking about?
And what "pals" are you referring to insulting you?
I rarely post here, but when I do, you appear to make a point to be rude.
Your best bet is to ignore what I post.

 

[VanillaCreme]

TB, your only warning to chill out. I don't know why you want to argue, but there's no insults to anyone.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Yeah, yeah, the obvious, they just wanna get laid without the commitment. But lately I've been feeling more sympathetic, like there's more to it.

I feel like I mention my ex in every thread, so I'll keep that part short. Bad break up last year, awful in fact. Haven't felt a thing for any girl since, except one. She was blonde, kinda thin. She always seemed to sit on her own, but she didn't seem meek or shy or anything, it was like it didn't seem to bother her. A bit like myself. Maybe like me, it DID bother her deep down, but I guess there's no point speculating. I knew we had a lot in common, she mentioned her interests a few times to the wider group and we were in the same club at university. I just remember one time, I was just looking across the room and our eyes met, and something just sort of rushed through me. But, never got to know her too well, tried to awkwardly start a few conversations with her. First off it turned out she had a boyfriend, secondly, she stopped going to that club, so I couldn't just befriend her or something. I'll likely never see that girl again, the first girl I kinda liked after losing the one person I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life.

So I try to find someone else who makes me feel like that, but online dating isn't really an option in this shithole and I don't get out much. I mean, I try, but I just don't have any friends or any real opportunities to go out. Something I realised though. It's rare for me to feel a genuine attraction towards someone. But, even though I'm quiet and a bit "creepy", I'm quite a handsome guy. Every so often, there's some girl who seems to take notice of me. And I just... let it slide, because I'm either wanting someone else, or just plain not interested, even if she is physically attractive. It's so rare for me to find someone who really catches my eye, and when I do, they're virtually guaranteed to be out of my reach. There was this girl, used to stare at me every time we were in the same class. And she was pretty cute, I guess, so I noticed. But I never did anything and now she's stopped, given up. There was another girl. Didn't like her as such, but I found her pretty cute. Stole some glances, but she seemed disinterested. Lately though, she's been acting different, blushing around me, seems a bit nervous. Maybe there IS something there? And one more, looks a bit like the girl I liked for a bit, but more outgoing and "normal" I guess, I'm not sure, but I was sitting behind her and I think I caught her looking
back at me a bit. Of course, I might have just been delusional.

But, the thing is, I don't think I could date most girls. But something more casual, I'd certainly like. If I wasn't so awkward and if I knew the social conventions for these things (I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable), I might have even tried to approach them. I can't find a relationship, I can't find a girl I could truly see myself with, but everyone has basic needs. And this all makes me feel like a total *********. As if I didn't have plenty of other reasons to hate myself, like alcoholism, incompetence, depression and laziness. I mean, even if I tried, I don't know if I'd be successful, since i might just be being a narcissist and no one actually finds me attractive. But still, even that I'm considering this.....

I don't know who I am anymore.

I think the girl acting nervous and blushing is TOTALLY interested. Id ask her out to lunch or something...see if the chemistry is there....who knows...bud...rejection is just another form of REDIRECTION..NEVER NEVER worry about a girl saying no...take it and move on..you will be told no 1000 times..but one day...one will say yes...and just maybe...bingo..that will be the love of your life.....there is only one way to find out.....!!!

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

*shrug* I wasn't insulting anyone. I know I am not a male model. I could accept slightly above average but I'm no model. Well unless it's as geek/nerd.

I didn't see an insult either. All I saw was a little self-deprication.

I've PMd with BD a couple of times. You can't tell 100% from on line of course, but his personality seems just fine to me. He has mentioned a lack of social interaction, if I recall correctly. I do believe him when he says opportunities to meet the opposite sex are simply limited.

His attitude is poor, he feels sorry for himself too much.

man this is good!!!!

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”

*snort*
There's nothing wrong with his attitude. He's entitled to his own opinions of himself - it doesn't mean he has a poor attitude.
He wasn't insulting anyone - hence the "ha ha ha."
It's also highly presumptuous to think he "feels sorry for himself too much."
Why are you needling him anyway? He comports himself very well and doesn't insult people here.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I kinda feel embarrassed reading back at this thread and surprised it's still popping up after so long. Wish it would stay buried, I feel like my cringey overanalyzing of random girls looking at me and my stupid use of language aren't that great to look back on, like I've changed so much in such a short amount of time.

Anyway, I've had quite a bit of drama since making this thread. No relationships, but sure as hell went through a lot of honeysuckle for having feelings for people. Some of the points still stand I guess, though, I'm honestly confused about life right now. Truth is, I'm not even that shy anymore. I'm just not someone who fits in socially. I can't even go into full detail as to why, it's no one reason, but to put it shortly, I'm just too much of an outcast to meet most people's expectations. I don't have any close friends, I don't go out much, I DO have hobbies and interests, but I'm not one to obsess over them and while I consider myself an intelligent person, I'm most certainly not a good fit for the "academic" type of outlook on life expected by and of most students.

I know trying to get a girl on a date will be tough, and I know for a fact that I won't be able to keep their interest for long. It'll be a challenge, whether I keep waiting for someone I can really focus on, connect with and make it work, or I just try to chat up as many people in general, and maybe ask a few girls on dates when I feel comfortable. Both will require a great deal of social effort from me, and I worry at the end, they'll just see me for who I really am. A bad person.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

I kinda feel embarrassed reading back at this thread and surprised it's still popping up after so long. Wish it would stay buried, I feel like my cringey overanalyzing of random girls looking at me and my stupid use of language aren't that great to look back on, like I've changed so much in such a short amount of time.

Anyway, I've had quite a bit of drama since making this thread. No relationships, but sure as hell went through a lot of honeysuckle for having feelings for people. Some of the points still stand I guess, though, I'm honestly confused about life right now. Truth is, I'm not even that shy anymore. I'm just not someone who fits in socially. I can't even go into full detail as to why, it's no one reason, but to put it shortly, I'm just too much of an outcast to meet most people's expectations. I don't have any close friends, I don't go out much, I DO have hobbies and interests, but I'm not one to obsess over them and while I consider myself an intelligent person, I'm most certainly not a good fit for the "academic" type of outlook on life expected by and of most students.

I know trying to get a girl on a date will be tough, and I know for a fact that I won't be able to keep their interest for long. It'll be a challenge, whether I keep waiting for someone I can really focus on, connect with and make it work, or I just try to chat up as many people in general, and maybe ask a few girls on dates when I feel comfortable. Both will require a great deal of social effort from me, and I worry at the end, they'll just see me for who I really am. A bad person.

Dude this is totally the wrong attitude..

"I know trying to get a girl on a date will be tough, and I know for a fact that I won't be able to keep their interest for long"

sure it might be tough..but you need to think positively..negativity is such a turn off....and why do you think your a bad person???

Thats not a great attitude to have either...are you a rapist or an axe murderer?? We all make mistakes...learn from them..