Long story. Need answers. PLEASE.

[tess27]

It's been over two years since I had last made contact with the boy who haunts my dreams. I don't know why I am still hung up on such an old relationship.

I met this boy while he was going out with a friend of mine a little over four years ago. I took one look at him and that was it. I told myself it was wrong, but I was going to have him one day. About a month later he and I had been talking a lot and he had confided in me about his relationship issues. No, I did not take the cruel approach, I told him to talk to my friend (who he was dating) about the issues because perhaps they could work things out. I gave him some serious advise. He took it and they fixed things for about another two months and then she ended things with him.

Soon after that he ended up asking me out and that began our two and a half year relationship. We were inseparable. I basically lived with him the last year and a half. We talked like any young couple would about their future, marriage, children, colleges, ect. We were the it couple. The couple everyone envied.

I began to feel fear. I was wondering if I was ready to settle down so soon, if he was the one for me. I let that fear ruin everything. I told him I wanted to take a break. He didn't want to agree, but he cared about me so we did. Everyday we'd still see one another and he'd still hold me like he would when we were officially together. He'd tell me he'd wait for me.

After two weeks of his promises I realized he is the one for me. I still remember the last day we saw one another before I called him.

"Tessa, I love you. I'm going to wait for you. You are the girl I see by my side for the rest of my life."

The next day I called him. Confident. Ready. I wasn't expecting our phone conversation to go so wrong.

He told me he had a change of heart. I was desperate for an answer, so I blurted, "Who's the new girl?" Not expecting a name, he gave me one. I asked him how he could do that to me and he told me he had gotten tired of waiting on me. Angry, I told him to never talk to me again.

He hasn't. I made many attempts of messages and phone calls for about a month, telling him that I didn't mean what I had said and I wanted him in my life as a friend if I couldn't have him as my lover. He never replied, never picked up, but about a year ago- he was walking back and forth in front of my house. I was so shocked. I couldn't say anything. I didn't want him to know I still loved him (he was engaged to be married to the same woman he had mentioned in the last phone call we had and she was pregnant with their son). He didn't just do it once, he did it twice. Both times he starred right at me. He smiled. That boggled my mind. I had no idea why he would do that. To be cruel and give me hope that he still cared?

Can anyone answer those questions? Why is still on my mind? Why would he walk back and forth in front of my house on two different occasions? HOW DO I GET OVER HIM FOR GOOD?

I've moved two states away recently. For many reasons, but I felt as if it could help as well. It hasn't.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

When you figure it out....you let me know.

I could never explain why I love a particular woman so much.
Heck even when she ask me why I love her so much...I cant really give her one answers.
Cuase theres millions of reason why I love her.
And she's given me plenty of reason to hate her.

My love life is about as wacky as your's.
Yes..i did the moved, got involve with other poeple..
Heck i even married someone else.

It's the reasons why I have relationship issues with other women...

Yeah..people are going to tell us...move on with your life...get over him/her..there's
plenty of poeple in this world, stop loving him/her..blah...blah..blah

For me...to actually accept that I love her ( I stopped fighting myself) gave me peace.

I know it's possible to live without her. Its posible for me to get involve
with someone else and have happiness in my life.
Allowing myself to love and form relationship with another woman.

Idk...were still trying to work it out after all these years.
This will be our fifth time of trying.
Which makes it hard or easy....I dont know.
She tells me she loves me. I belive that. I believe her...

And its not like i havntg heard another woman tells me she loves me..either.
But some reasons...when she tells me that she loves me..it's all different.
When I figure out why that is....I'll let you know.

---

Becuase our freaken brain stores informations or data of everything...all of our
experinces.

We have kind of like an internal Ipod....
You know sometimes...a freaken song that you heard from decades ago
will just pop into your head for no particular reasons sometimes.

When there's emotions attach to it...it retriggers those memories more...
So it gose into our so call....long term memories.
Not short term memories as we would forget...
Kind da learding how to ride a bike...once you learn you'll never forget.

But with emotions are envolve...it gets all sensitive...etc..etc.
or you associate him with those feelings you have...
When you feel good....a thought of him get trigger.

i do a lot of reserch...
Cause she drives me outta my freaken mind and I was looking for answers too.lmao

Not sure how it is for you...maybe it's the feelings that's triggering your thoughts

 

[Jonah]

This is a difficult world at the moment but there are worries around my local area in the UK that if love is so difficult to explain perhaps someone could be using the love or your life for other reasons (Don't Worry). It's a simple answer are you single because nothing works when you have a partner, perhaps nothing is above your true faith and, and if you have that it never will. Your girl could have encountered a time where she feels that someone is trying to take her love. Example she has been paid and wants to be with you but wants to feel good to make you feel good, this is an attraction and to be able to aquire the feeling to drive this emotion she might feel that she must spend her hard earnt money on clothes, makeup ect. This isn't true love, you met here perhaps when you didn,t now what I'm mentioning is your senses could be already there because you have mentioned that you can't find the love or time to give her your everything and why should you. My question is what's holding you back and is your true faith. Do you feel used? I do everyday God **** it's a joke, the love that is yours will be yours for all eternity and the love that you and your girl havn't found to be together has been lost? Where is this special love that you deserve? a beautiful pair of humans. I guess it's about time and I hope and wish that somewhere in your heart you can give her time each day to talk to you and work out how much you can together each day more and more. But that's up to you my friend. Good Luck ... I'm sorry if this is a little difficult to understand but it's the way I speak and understand the reason and problems of others. I could post here simple quotes but that would not be from my heart as undevided person of good intentions only.

Good Luck my friend.

 

[Equinox]

This might not be what you want to hear, but this guy sounds like a complete jackass. He tells you that he love you, promise to wait for you, and just to weeks later he's already hooked up with someone else?? He'd gotten tired of waiting after TWO WEEKS? Honestly, this has "*********" written all over. And to top it all, he then completely ignores your attempts to contact him later on, while having the nerve to stalk your house? Seriously, is this guy for real? You should be grateful you got away from him, instead of wasting more time on such a low life. Good riddance!

Having said that, I do know that it doesn't necessarily make it easier to break up with someone even if you're probably better off without them. I've never been in a relationship myself, but I once had a really close friend. We did almost everything together, shared opinions and thoughts on so many things, had a few interests in common that we bonded greatly over. When her boyfriend dumped her, I dropped everything I had to support her and be with her and do whatever she wanted or needed. Two months later, her boyfriend took her back, and that's when she gradually began dumping me as a friend. Maybe she wanted to spend more time with him, worried he might dump her again if she didn't, I don't know; but the reasons didn't matter. It still hurt. I still felt dumped, worthless and betrayed, and I hated losing her. What I hated just as much, however, was realizing that I never meant as much to her as she did to me. She would never be there for me like I had been there for her - basically realizing she wasn't actually the wonderful friend I had thought she was. I began distancing myself completely from her after that, trying to erase her from my life, but it was really hard. It's been two years now since the whole boyfriend incident, and it still hurts. So even if it's not exactly the same as a romantic relationship, I can relate to what you're going through.

I don't have any good advice for how to deal with this - if I did, I wouldn't feel so awful about my ex friend. People always talk about getting "closure" - maybe that's it? I've never actually told my friend how she made me feel (not to her face, anyway), and I've never really been sure of how she feel about me after all this time, if our friendship could be fixed somehow. I keep switching between "Maybe I should contact her and talk things out" and "I shouldn't bother; she wasn't there for me and treated me like honeysuckle, I'm glad she's out of my life", and that is haunting. It's a confusing place to be.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

He completely ingnore your contacct...
Thats becuase its one of the suggestions most healthy course of action people take when break away from a relationship or a toxic or a codependent relationship. Just saying..

I guess you can look at all of his bad qualities...blah..blah to convience yourself hes really a major prick so you can get over him.....

I guess ur talking me cuase the OP is a female.....

Anyway...I do spend time with Renae.
Lots and lots of quanity and quality time
Renae have clothe up the waazooo. I peronally thinks she looks better naled
Why do you think I love the woman so much...plenty of love and emotional bonding ..good ggod times out wights the bad time...but when we go through a bad time...its like a fucken NUcular bomb went off onetime and fucks everything up....