Questions for the Women

[lonelyfairy]

Quiet guy = creepy guy, unless he ticks all the other boxes that is.

Quiet doesn't mean creepy right off the bat.

Agree. Quiet isn't a synonym for creepy.

 

[Zook]

If a woman breaks up an engagement, should she return the ring to her ex fiance? What happens there?

If she doesn't return the ring, what's going on there? Does she still have feelings?

 

[ladyforsaken]

If a woman breaks up an engagement, should she return the ring to her ex fiance? What happens there?

If she doesn't return the ring, what's going on there? Does she still have feelings?

I think out of courteousy, she should return the ring. Not sure if there's any right or wrong answers for this, but I just feel like it wouldn't be right otherwise.

If she doesn't return the ring, it does not necessarily mean she has feelings. I've heard of those who sell off the ring for their own keeps. Some keep cos of its sentimental value and memories. Can't think of anything else.

 

[user 130057]

If a woman breaks up an engagement, should she return the ring to her ex fiance? What happens there?

If she doesn't return the ring, what's going on there? Does she still have feelings?

I'd like to think that any self-respecting woman would return the ring, but legally, in the UK at least, the ring is considered an absolute gift, so unless there was a formal agreement to return the ring in the event of the engagement breaking down, then it's hers...

I'm not female, just stating the facts.

 

[WishingWell]

I am female and it is the right thing to do if a woman breaks an engagement. I wouldn't think very low about a woman who would not return the ring. As far as laws go, if a couple went to court about who gets the ring, I don't know for sure, but by accepting the ring the woman is entering into a promise with the man to marry. So, if the promise is broken, the symbol of that promise--the ring--should be returned to the man.

 

[Menorahman]

Quiet guy = creepy guy, unless he ticks all the other boxes that is.

Quiet doesn't mean creepy right off the bat.

Agree. Quiet isn't a synonym for creepy.

Quiet + attractive = mysterious

Anything + unattractive = creepy

 

[VanillaCreme]

Quiet guy = creepy guy, unless he ticks all the other boxes that is.

Quiet doesn't mean creepy right off the bat.

Agree. Quiet isn't a synonym for creepy.

Quiet + attractive = mysterious

Anything + unattractive = creepy

I don't think that's true either. Creepiness doesn't exactly bother me though.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If a woman breaks up an engagement, should she return the ring to her ex fiance? What happens there?

If she doesn't return the ring, what's going on there? Does she still have feelings?

Well, since the ring was a gift, it's not obligatory to return it. However, since it's a very expensive gift, it's the courteous thing to do. BUT, if you parted on bad terms or she was angry, she might want to keep it to sell it off. If the guy broke it off, she might want to keep it because she didn't want to break up. But, she might just want to keep it for the memories, as a reminder of what she once had. She may still have feelings, she may not, just depends on what happened and all that.

Quiet guy = creepy guy, unless he ticks all the other boxes that is.

Quiet doesn't mean creepy right off the bat.

Agree. Quiet isn't a synonym for creepy.

Quiet + attractive = mysterious

Anything + unattractive = creepy

Attractiveness is subjective, depending on the person. Unattractive people aren't always creepy and attractive people can be just as creepy as unattractive people.

 

[Aisha]

^What Callie said.

I do like quieter guys generally. Of a specific type.
But how quiet a person is shouldn't matter too much. There are other factors that are more important.

 

[Zook]

Thanx for all those answers. I wouldn't ever sue her for not returning the ring. I just find it really classless and weird. I don't even know what I'd do with the ring if she returns it, but it was VERY expensive for an engagement ring.

She wouldn't even know how to sell it herself, so I know that's not the reason she's not returning it. I honestly think it's just sheer laziness that she hasn't returned it yet. She's far away and would have to post it to me.

Oh well. I don't really care that much anyway. Just was curious about the reasons why she hasn't done it.

Thanx again.

 

[Serephina]

What if you get proposed to on Christmas day (I have been twice) and both times they were given as Christmas presents?

 

[ardour]

I don't think that's true either. Creepiness doesn't exactly bother me though.

Depends on what you consider creepy.

In common usage, creep/creepy is a synonym for sex offender and/or grossly misogynist male.

 

[ardour]

Do you avoid social interaction with men in the workplace or elsewhere out of fear that a willingness to talk might be misconstrued as romantic interest, or a green light to ask you out?

Do you routinely avoid being in the same spaces with men for this reason? Example: making sure not to walk into certain areas of a building. Am I just paranoid?

It seems that a fear of unwanted attention is the reason women rarely initiate conversation and generally show so little (non-romantic) interest in knowing us.

 

[kamya]

Who's "us" exactly?

 

[TheSkaFish]

So I was reading dating advice again today, I probably shouldn't have been, but I saw something about a guy giving out dating advice and he said that being forward about sex worked. Not only that, but he also said that if you talk about non-sexual things, women find you weak and boring.

So that's my question - what do you think of guys who aren't forward about sex?

Do you think they are just being dishonest about what they want and cowardly?

Do you think they are boring?

I think that's been another problem of mine. Women think I am afraid to be sexual but really, I just don't like that style. I know I want sex, I have the same desires one would expect of the average straight guy but I don't like talking about it, let alone in graphic detail. I don't want to come off as another hyper-macho, obnoxious, cocky, belching, farting, vulgar caveman. My dignity has always been important to me, and I like more poetic/romantic style of talking than crude ones.

I may have asked a similar question before but that article has thrown me into doubt again.

 

[Serenia]

Do you avoid social interaction with men in the workplace or elsewhere out of fear that a willingness to talk might be misconstrued as romantic interest, or a green light to ask you out?

Do you routinely avoid being in the same spaces with men for this reason? Example: making sure not to walk into certain areas of a building. Am I just paranoid?

It seems that a fear of unwanted attention is the reason women rarely initiate conversation and generally show so little (non-romantic) interest in knowing us.

Personally no not at all. I wouldn't not talk to a man in the workplace or elsewhere in case of any misunderstandings. If a man did express romantic interest and I did not feel the same way, I would be honest, without any hostility. I have no fear of being friendly with a man could lead to other things. If it did then that would be a bridge to cross at the time.

I would not avoid areas at work because of anything like that. I have a but though, this is just me and certainly does not apply to everyone else. If I had had a hostile confrontation with another member of staff male or female and I did not have to go, I would avoid it. But that is me and my own issues with people shouting and being verbally nasty (stemming from an abusive marriage).

I have had this at my own work place and I do avoid one certain place, a member of staff (female) got away with being verbally nasty to me for a reason that had nothing to do with me.

Anyway not sure if my opinion and experiences are of any help. I don't want to say you are paranoid, but I think you are possibly scared of certain social situations which possibly stem.from your own experience, if you want any advice, I would try and see that maybe the problem lies with the other people and their need to feel better about themselves by being unpleasant.

 

[Serenia]

So I was reading dating advice again today, I probably shouldn't have been, but I saw something about a guy giving out dating advice and he said that being forward about sex worked. Not only that, but he also said that if you talk about non-sexual things, women find you weak and boring.

So that's my question - what do you think of guys who aren't forward about sex?

Do you think they are just being dishonest about what they want and cowardly?

Do you think they are boring?

I think that's been another problem of mine. Women think I am afraid to be sexual but really, I just don't like that style. I know I want sex, I have the same desires one would expect of the average straight guy but I don't like talking about it, let alone in graphic detail. I don't want to come off as another hyper-macho, obnoxious, cocky, belching, farting, vulgar caveman. My dignity has always been important to me, and I like more poetic/romantic style of talking than crude ones.

I may have asked a similar question before but that article has thrown me into doubt again.

I don't find men I have dated or potentially date who don't talk about sex weak and boring at all.

I think first it would help to know what you want from dating. For instances if it is a fling then I think being upfront is better because then the woman if she wanted the same would not feel confused and duped.

This is how I would like to be treated, if you are looking for a girlfriend then be yourself and don't be forward about sex at all, maybe a weeks into dating you could discuss it if she has not brought it up or not given you any physical signs of being ready. If you go on longer without any discussion at least, she may feel you are not physically attracted to her. It is all about being open and honest, but being respectful and reading cues. Believe me if a woman wants to become sexual with you, you will know about it.

You are a good guy and such a lovely personality, if I could offer any advice it would be to relax and enjoy the interaction and if it is a good match, it will flow nicely.

Hope that helps.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you avoid social interaction with men in the workplace or elsewhere out of fear that a willingness to talk might be misconstrued as romantic interest, or a green light to ask you out?

Do you routinely avoid being in the same spaces with men for this reason? Example: making sure not to walk into certain areas of a building. Am I just paranoid?

It seems that a fear of unwanted attention is the reason women rarely initiate conversation and generally show so little (non-romantic) interest in knowing us.

I'll talk to people that I want to talk to. Doesn't matter if they want to try to be interested or if they think I'm interested. If they ask me out, there's a good chance I'll say no and I have no problem saying no. I wouldn't be harsh about it, of course, but still. I don't avoid men any more than I avoid women. lol

So I was reading dating advice again today, I probably shouldn't have been, but I saw something about a guy giving out dating advice and he said that being forward about sex worked. Not only that, but he also said that if you talk about non-sexual things, women find you weak and boring.

So that's my question - what do you think of guys who aren't forward about sex?

Do you think they are just being dishonest about what they want and cowardly?

Do you think they are boring?

I think that's been another problem of mine. Women think I am afraid to be sexual but really, I just don't like that style. I know I want sex, I have the same desires one would expect of the average straight guy but I don't like talking about it, let alone in graphic detail. I don't want to come off as another hyper-macho, obnoxious, cocky, belching, farting, vulgar caveman. My dignity has always been important to me, and I like more poetic/romantic style of talking than crude ones.

I may have asked a similar question before but that article has thrown me into doubt again.

I don't think it's cowardly or boring at all. Honestly, if you come at me all sexual, I would likely shut you down.
I would rather have intelligent conversation and something to base something on than sex talk, because I'd be more likely to think that the ONLY thing you want is sex.
So yeah, that advice is stupid. Sex comes later for most people, I think, so save that honeysuckle for later if you must do it, but even then, I wouldn't appreciate an obnoxious, cocky guy.

 

[Serephina]

I'm sapiosexual so it would probably have the opposite effect on me,i'm very attracted to intelligent men. A man who just talks about sex,to me has nothing better to talk about,isn't very interesting,and comes across as being just after one thing,I would shut him down.

I wouldn't pay attention to these books,people are different and looking for different things,it is more important for you to be you and not have to put on some front,so the right person is attracted to you.

 

[VanillaCreme]

So I was reading dating advice again today, I probably shouldn't have been, but I saw something about a guy giving out dating advice and he said that being forward about sex worked. Not only that, but he also said that if you talk about non-sexual things, women find you weak and boring.

So that's my question - what do you think of guys who aren't forward about sex?

Do you think they are just being dishonest about what they want and cowardly?

Do you think they are boring?

I think that's been another problem of mine. Women think I am afraid to be sexual but really, I just don't like that style. I know I want sex, I have the same desires one would expect of the average straight guy but I don't like talking about it, let alone in graphic detail. I don't want to come off as another hyper-macho, obnoxious, cocky, belching, farting, vulgar caveman. My dignity has always been important to me, and I like more poetic/romantic style of talking than crude ones.

I may have asked a similar question before but that article has thrown me into doubt again.

I would actually prefer this. I'm the same as you. Not overly-sexual. I just don't think it's necessary. I don't mind sex, and it doesn't bother me if other people showcase their sexuality. But personally, I would rather not deal with that on a daily basis. I don't think it's boring or anything. Not cowardly in any way. Someone doesn't have to shout out to the rooftops how they are in order for someone to know how they are. Being subtle can do wonders oftentimes.

And I don't know who in their right mind would tell someone that if guys talk about non-sexual things, that we find them weak and boring. I think statements like that are projection from the person saying it. Projection on how they feel about themselves or how someone has made them feel. Because even if one lady thinks that, it doesn't mean the rest of us share that sentiment.