Questions for the Women

[Seosa]

Financialy stable is number 1. Interesting.

 

[kaetic]

Financialy stable is number 1. Interesting.

She said it was important that they matched on that level. Don't just pick and choose what to be *removed* about.
Read the whole thing.

 

[Xpendable]

Financialy stable is number 1. Interesting.

She said it was important that they matched on that level. Don't just pick and choose what to be *removed* about.
Read the whole thing.

She literally used numbers and that was the first thing that came up to her mind. Nothing wrong with having that priority but I think the message was clear.

 

[Amelia]

Actually X, the only reason that was no 1 was because I had been paying my bills and I guess the money topic was on my mind.

If I had to really rate qualities by importance, no 1 would be integrity, responsibility and respect. If a guy had no money to his name despite trying and working hard, I'd want to be with him just the same.

 

[Xpendable]

Actually X, the only reason that was no 1 was because I had been paying my bills and I guess the money topic was on my mind.

If I had to really rate qualities by importance, no 1 would be integrity, responsibility and respect. If a guy had no money to his name despite trying and working hard, I'd want to be with him just the same.

I believe you, random and anonymous person on the internet.

 

[user 139760]

I don't think financial stability is the number one requirement based on which women chose a boyfriend.

However, to say in ALL our personal lives that money isn't the number one thing most of us think about, man or woman included, is likely unrealistic. I mean we all gotta eat and pay bills and if you don't have cash to pay your bills, to go out and see a movie once in a while, to treat or get treated with a lunch out or a gift or even a cup of coffee, it'll likely throw a damper on any viable long-term relationship. If you can't financially hold your own, you can't really move in with someone and pay bills 50-50 or 70-30 or 20-80 or however it's ended up being decided.

I think it's unfair a bit to believe by one statement that it reflects priorities for the entirety of womenkind. I'm sure a portion does indeed, I dated my share of those who ended up getting kicked out for playing the Princess role. But that's lack of judgment on my part. Not absence of morality on theirs.

That being said...anyone got a 20? ;-)

 

[MisterLonely]

However, to say in ALL our personal lives that money isn't the number one thing most of us think about, man or woman included, is likely unrealistic. I mean we all gotta eat and pay bills and if you don't have cash to pay your bills, to go out and see a movie once in a while, to treat or get treated with a lunch out or a gift or even a cup of coffee.

The things that occupy our thoughts are the things we are lacking and wanting, if you are struggling to get by money will be on your mind, if you are unable to find love, affection or sex that mill be on your mind.

It's just as unrealistic to say money is the number one thing we all think off as it is to say status, power, or affection is, if you got it you won't e thinking off it, that is until you got it all, that's when people either are content or start getting greedy and wanting more money, status, power and/or affection.

 

[user 139760]

The things that occupy our thoughts are the things we are lacking and wanting, if you are struggling to get by money will be on your mind, if you are unable to find love, affection or sex that mill be on your mind.

It's just as unrealistic to say money is the number one thing we all think off as it is to say status, power, or affection is, if you got it you won't e thinking off it, that is until you got it all, that's when people either are content or start getting greedy and wanting more money, status, power and/or affection.

You're right of course, true, yes. It's just in the case of money it just seems different to me somehow.
If we judge on politics of the world, even the rich only hardly ever think about money, or act because of it. Companies, corporations, filmakers, employees, everyone thinks about money, or making money, or how to get more or how to use it better to get more. We spend our whole youths getting told we need to think about the future, the point being finding a way to make "enough money" (when is enough money EVER enough money?).

I think those who do not think of money are few and far between, were lucky and are perhaps the last cool, sane people on this planet. I envy them. Wish I could get there myself and avoid the pittfall that permeates anyone who has 2 boats, 3 houses and 4 horses yet seem unable to do anything but find a way to get "more money". Which seems to be a minority of people. Or at least people I'd want to get to hang around with

It's a conversation I often have with my daughters these days. I keep thinking about the irony of printing new green bills with something FAR more important to our continued existence; trees. Ironic still that megacorps chop so many down in order to have more when 400 years from now they'll have brought on their own deaths for doing it.
Who was the Indian chief again? "Someday the White Man will realize you can't eat money" or somesuch? One of life's greatest ironies.

 

[MisterLonely]

I think those who do not think of money are few and far between, were lucky and are perhaps the last cool, sane people on this planet. I envy them. Wish I could get there myself and avoid the pittfall that permeates anyone who has 2 boats, 3 houses and 4 horses yet seem unable to do anything but find a way to get "more money". Which seems to be a minority of people. Or at least people I'd want to get to hang around with

I get that sentiment, this is the way of the world because there is no longer an alternative, places one could live "care free" as in no taxes, no job and no money to worry about are few and far in between, even living off the land isn't allowed in 99.9% of the worlds territory, only AFTER you get enough money you can live off YOUR land.

We humans royally messed ourselves with this money honeysuckle haven't we

 

[user 139760]

I get that sentiment, this is the way of the world because there is no longer an alternative, places one could live "care free" as in no taxes, no job and no money to worry about are few and far in between, even living off the land isn't allowed in 99.9% of the worlds territory, only AFTER you get enough money you can live off YOUR land.

We humans royally messed ourselves with this money honeysuckle haven't we

LOL Yup, that's my scenario.
We're also not doing the young any favors by constantly putting emphasis on it. Seems to me it wasn't so bad 60 years ago in that sense, even though times were harder, you could still get by with not being an executive in a big company and earn out a decent enough living if need be, whereas now, 2 uni diplomas and volunteer work latter, some still work at McDonalds and don't earn enough to cover cost of an appartment rent. We surely did something wrong with the whole system and those who do have money end up being very recitent to go on a course correction at this point.

I'm just hoping those that come after us will be a helluva lot wiser than we are.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Before money, there was grain or sheep.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Before money, there was grain or sheep.

That fathers gave men to take their daughters away.....usually MUCH older men

 

[bleed_the_freak]

I think the issue isn't money, so much as it is reciprocation.

There was a time when women cooked, cleaned, shopped, budgeted, planned, reared children, made clothes, and worked in the garden.

Anybody who thinks that being a "homemaker" isn't hard work is lying to themselves.

Yes, I would have a real problem paying for a fat lazy cow to sit on my couch and eat Doritos all day.

No, I would not have a problem with a real woman contributing in countless ways to the household, other than money.

It seems the real problem nowadays might be laziness.

 

[user 139760]

Anybody who thinks that being a "homemaker" isn't hard work is lying to themselves.

Ah that, is one fine truth. I have a lot of respect for a woman who stays by herself with two or three kids and keeps a nice clean house. Even more so if she actually works at the same time and juggles kindergarden with dental appointments and etc etc. It is hard work if someone, as you say, isn't lazy and gives it her all. My mom was one such woman for several years, until my dad's salary was no longer enough to completely pay for everything, then she started working full time on top of it all. I didn't appreciate it when I was a kid (lol, what kid appreciates it and DOESN'T take it for granted?) but I do now.

Yet a woman cannot do any of that without enough money. If you can't pay for your house, you can't keep your house. On welfare, you sure do not have enough to do so, so it still becomes a question of money. We live and die by our need to have some or make more. Which, you know, I think I've said that, if everything was right in the world, that wouldn't be our motivation to get up in the morning.

Then again, I'm an idealist. I think everything should be free and capitalism should die to be replaced by something better.

 

[wallflower79]

Here's a few questions for other women: How do you feel about women who say or that you notice that they have trouble getting on with other women? Women who say they have more male friends? Women who seem to distrust you without having any cause? Any thoughts or impressions you'd like to share?

 

[DarkSelene]

Here's a few questions for other women: How do you feel about women who say or that you notice that they have trouble getting on with other women? Women who say they have more male friends? Women who seem to distrust you without having any cause? Any thoughts or impressions you'd like to share?

This is interesting because in regards to the first two questions, that's me. To be honest I never really thought it was an issue, I'm not the type of person who needs too much out of a friendship and males were always easy in that regard where if I vanished for a month they wouldn't get all offended about it as if it's something personal. Also, I'm really incredibly disinterested in competition, especially with friends lol, and I've always noticed that women are way more competitive and prone to have more fake, gossip filled friendships -- my best friend from school was like that, I've always erased myself a lot so that she could shine because she needed some external reassurance, which was fine by me... Just giving an example.
Also, most of the times, the male friends I have are guys who can only have long lasting deeper connection friendships with women, so it's not an insane thought that those groups would meet somehow.

To the last question I can answer from my own perspective, even though you might be getting that vibe for very different reasons, I'm very wary of what I say in public or to people I'm not super close with and sometimes people do pick up on that. A lot of the times women don't care to try and make a deeper connection with me, like talk to me further if they feel that wary vibe from me, so I never get to the point of being very open with them. I guess it's one of those walls that you put up and apparently a large portion of females are not interested in breaking it down... which I don't blame them, why would they?!
Also, most of the times I'm less playful with women because I feel a little intimidated. It's easier to be silly while talking to dudes, I think they're more forgiving of me looking like an ass.

What happened, Flower? What are your thoughts on those women?

 

[wallflower79]

Selene, my thoughts on them are that I am one of them, and I am interested - maybe to the point of obsession - with how others view me. I don't consciously try to avoid making friends with women, but I have trouble being close with them, maybe because I have been betrayed so often. I tend to look negatively and be critical of people of my gender, and I just became conscious of that and am trying to keep myself from doing it. I noticed that there is a feminist trope where a girl who is "not like other girls" are criticized as being hypocritical and such, and that we should see women as awesome and support other women and not criticize them, but sometimes things need being said. There is also a stereotype of them being more masculine and prone to liking guy things, which I find funny because as one roommate told me, I am the most feminine woman she knows - I just tend to prefer friendships with men, and the thing about those friendships is that the conversation can often turn to the relationships between men and women, and I can sympathize with them. Anyway, I have been burned a lot in the past to the point where it is my default reaction to not trust other women until I get to know them and they demonstrate something to me that proves that they are trustworthy. So that's it.

 

[kamya]

Anyway, I have been burned a lot in the past to the point where it is my default reaction to not trust other women until I get to know them and they demonstrate something to me that proves that they are trustworthy. So that's it.

But not all women are like dat! 
Ur just bitter and entitled mhmm. You haz trouble with women because of your attitude! 

Joking aside, this is a pretty interesting topic. Hopefully more women share their thoughts on it.

 

[DarkSelene]

I'll hold the obsession with how others see you for when I have a bit more time, but I'm curious to know if you seek to change that or if it's fine by you even though it's not really a healthy behavior?

I think it's fine to be wary of anyone, especially if you have been through some bad experiences in the past!
Let me ask you something, have you ever felt ashamed about only being friends with guys? Do you miss female friends?

 

[kamya]

Do you?

Also...

I've always noticed that women are way more competitive and prone to have more fake, gossip filled friendships

[size=xx-large]How dare you notice trends and make a sweeping generalization about a whole gender like that :O. Don't you know men can have fake gossip filled friendships too? BOOM! That means ur wrong of course. Cuz logic. [/size]

Where are all the resident feminists/ white knights? Don't they know someone is saying negative things about wimmin?