Questions for the Women

[ladyforsaken]

Too ugly, too fat, . . .

I've gotten these reasons too.

Me three. Also, not sexual enough.

There have probably been other reasons too, but they don't always tell you why they're rejecting you.

Yeah, true that. Sometimes they insinuate the reasons through their actions and behaviour towards us.

 

[Nicolelt]

Too ugly, too fat, needed to work on myself, too busy, and was in my own little world too much.

They said these things to you?

Yep

 

[TheSkaFish]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

Edit: nevermind, finding out what makes someone boring isn't going to help. Let's just focus on the positive side and stick to what makes someone interesting.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

Edit: nevermind, finding out what makes someone boring isn't going to help. Let's just focus on the positive side and stick to what makes someone interesting.

Being able to fix things. And wanting to eat my food and liking it. I kind of lost out on the latter, but there are things he will eat and usually asks for himself.

 

[HoodedMonk]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

Edit: nevermind, finding out what makes someone boring isn't going to help. Let's just focus on the positive side and stick to what makes someone interesting.

I'm not sure because I find myself liking women more these days than men. I don't know what specifically I'd want from a guy.

 

[Veruca]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

Edit: nevermind, finding out what makes someone boring isn't going to help. Let's just focus on the positive side and stick to what makes someone interesting.

I think if he was interested in anything and engaging in those things actively that alone would make him good company. It could be cars, games, music etc. It would lead to many conversations about his hobbies/interests and I might want to take some of those up myself. These interests dont even have to be appealing to me; the fact that he has stuff going on in his life would make him interesting.

But thats on the surface level like when it comes to small talk. What really makes me want to hang out with someone is how they make me feel. As long as the guy is a fairly positive person, talks but also listens and is easygoing, id find his company wonderful. He doesnt have to have super interesting hobbies or anything.

 

[TheSkaFish]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

Edit: nevermind, finding out what makes someone boring isn't going to help. Let's just focus on the positive side and stick to what makes someone interesting.

I'm not sure because I find myself liking women more these days than men. I don't know what specifically I'd want from a guy.

That's okay. Regardless of gender, what would make someone interesting to you? What would make you want to keep talking to them, to keep getting to know them?

 

[HoodedMonk]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

Edit: nevermind, finding out what makes someone boring isn't going to help. Let's just focus on the positive side and stick to what makes someone interesting.

I'm not sure because I find myself liking women more these days than men. I don't know what specifically I'd want from a guy.

That's okay. Regardless of gender, what would make someone interesting to you? What would make you want to keep talking to them, to keep getting to know them?

Well, someone who had good listening skills, who would make me feel listened to and heard, instead of someone who tried to fix my problems. Someone who had compassion and a deep sense of empathy for other people rather than kneejerk reactions. Kinda hard to explain that one.

The person likes books…not just any books but good books. And they want to read aloud to me. Hell, I'd be there in a heartbeat if someone wanted to read aloud to me from a book. It sounds childish but it could be anything from charles dickens to a nonfiction book.

I think the second paragraph is specific to me though.

Maybe they write poetry, but not bad poetry like most people, but had a knowledge of it…or liked linguistics.

Again specific to me.

They care about other people and do random acts of kindness for their own sakes rather than for accolades.

They aren't into shallow pop culture things too much. They can enjoy it but if it becomes an obsession, it'd kinda bore me.

Again specific to me. Another woman might love that.

Uhm…

Someone who isn't going to pull me down. Who encourages my passions, and believes in me.

Specifically for women I kinda like the tomboy type upon first glance…aesthetically, but uhm it's the emotional connection that counts ultimately and pulls me in.

To be honest there may be qualities that I am attracted to that I'm not aware of.

This reminds me... there was this girl I liked that always saw the good in other people and managed to see the good in every situation. It was really attractive to me and she didn't do it in a demeaning or naive way but would point things out to me, and it made me feel better and it was insightful too. She was a good person.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Wow. Nice answer, Monk. Thank you for going into such detail. Even if the examples you gave were specific to you, they still help shed some light on what it means for a person to be interesting to another. I think this is one area I need to improve before someone will want to date me, and every little bit helps me understand what I need to do to work on myself here.

Actually, all of you ladies that answered were very helpful as well. A "thank you" for you all, and I await other replies.

 

[Solivagant]

What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy?

Regarding people in general, I can't much narrow it down. I find everyone interesting in some ways because I'm interested in learning about and understanding people. However I'm not a surface skimmer, I prefer to speak with people on a deeper level. Those who have intellectual interests, a willingness to self-disclose, or seem like-minded are more likely to catch my interest.

Romantically speaking, my interest in a guy is piqued when I observe we share commonalities and like-mindedness, and when he exhibits principles and values that I respect. I pay particular attention to how he talks to and about other people.

 

[ladyforsaken]

What makes a guy interesting to you? I don't mean only romantically, although I'm sure that being interesting plays a part in it. What makes you want to keep talking to and getting to know a guy? Is it travel? Extreme sports? A deep passion or knowledge of some subject or another? Something else entirely?

I pretty much feel the same way as Solivagant with people in general:

Regarding people in general, I can't much narrow it down. I find everyone interesting in some ways because I'm interested in learning about and understanding people. However I'm not a surface skimmer, I prefer to speak with people on a deeper level. Those who have intellectual interests, a willingness to self-disclose, or seem like-minded are more likely to catch my interest.

I can find something interesting about anyone, to be honest. I haven't or can't recall having met someone and not find one thing interesting about them to me. I guess to me, everyone is interesting in their own ways with their own behaviours, habits and personal interests.

Now it's hard for me to say what would make a guy stand out, romantically, cos I'm not functioning in that department but I'll try to put myself in that situation... so let's see. I'll try to be detailed, for the hell of it.

• Someone whom I feel a good connection with, someone who gets me, and someone who can carry the conversations just as much as I do. It's nice to have someone reciprocate the interaction and not just me asking questions or the one carrying the conversation forward.
• Someone I can talk to for hours on end and neither of us get bored of it. This also just goes to show how well we connect.
• Someone who's funny and can make me laugh and have a similar kind of humour as I do, since not everyone shares it, at least in my experience.
• Someone who has his own identity and doesn't need anyone or anything to define him or who and how he is.
• He is not afraid to speak up in any case, of course not in the rude way unreasonably, but if he can be honest with me about anything and even about myself if I ever get out of line or get stupid, that's someone I know would be rare to find.
• Of course with the last point in mind it means he doesn't lie to me, even if the truth hurts.
• He doesn't think he's superior towards anyone. At the same time he's not arrogant and too full of himself generally.
• He doesn't care about physical looks and appearance.
• He's not afraid to show his emotions to me, not unreasonably of course.
• Someone who feels comfortable with me as much as I would be with him.

There's probably more than what I could list above right now. And I do realise that the list is a pretty specific one but that doesn't mean I need to see all these things in a guy before I could be interested in him.

Any of these points that stand out in him would be good enough - and even better if there are more than one. Again, this is applicable if I'm ever searching for anyone romantic, then this list would be ideal for me. At the moment though, looking out for someone romantically is just out of the question for me.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

 

[HoodedMonk]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes.

If I am aware that you aren't meeting my eyes, I am wondering what you are looking at and it's making me uncomfortable.

 

[Sometimes]

No. They have to make it really obvious for me to notice. But I don't have too many good bits. I have really nice hair, and that wouldn't make for obvious staring.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

it actually gets me thru the work day sometimes when it's a long, boring day.

Ladies 'behinds' though, you can't know men are looking at them ? Is it ever on your minds ?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

it actually gets me thru the work day sometimes when it's a long, boring day.

Ladies 'behinds' though, you can't know men are looking at them ? Is it ever on your minds ?

I.. won't even comment on the first point you stated.

Well, yes it does get on my mind. Because sometimes I do pay attention to what I wear and if I'm forced to wear something that screams for attention I'd be more conscious about people "looking" at my ass. But really most of the time, I don't really care, I just wear what I feel is comfortable to me and as long as nobody grabs my ass for no apparent reason or make remarks about it, I live in peace.

 

[HoodedMonk]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

it actually gets me thru the work day sometimes when it's a long, boring day.

Ladies 'behinds' though, you can't know men are looking at them ? Is it ever on your minds ?.

If you have to hide that you are doing it, you shouldn't be doing it. It's harassment.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

it actually gets me thru the work day sometimes when it's a long, boring day.

Ladies 'behinds' though, you can't know men are looking at them ? Is it ever on your minds ?.

If you have to hide that you are doing it, you shouldn't be doing it. It's harassment.

balls

---

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

it actually gets me thru the work day sometimes when it's a long, boring day.

Ladies 'behinds' though, you can't know men are looking at them ? Is it ever on your minds ?

I.. won't even comment on the first point you stated.

Well, yes it does get on my mind. Because sometimes I do pay attention to what I wear and if I'm forced to wear something that screams for attention I'd be more conscious about people "looking" at my ass. But really most of the time, I don't really care, I just wear what I feel is comfortable to me and as long as nobody grabs my ass for no apparent reason or make remarks about it, I live in peace.

why not ?
A bit of honesty.
I would never ever make a comment though. Or touch anybody. Nothing wrong with having a look though. I bet women do it as well.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Are you aware when men stare at your good bits ?

Yes, I am pretty observant when it comes to people staring at me or any of my bits.

it actually gets me thru the work day sometimes when it's a long, boring day.

Ladies 'behinds' though, you can't know men are looking at them ? Is it ever on your minds ?

Staring at people's asses gets you through the day, huh? Just ladies, eh? Or are men actually included in that too?

No one really stares at me, not in a good way at least, so I don't mind or care. Just as long as they don't touch me.