Resignation.

[Niantiel]

I've pretty much totally stopped looking for a partner.
I don't do the online dating thing, and haven't since I was much younger, and well I can't seem to find a local girl on my level of things both artistically and responsibly. So, I gave up and stopped trying. I resigned my life to focusing on myself and my personal interests spiritually, artistically, financially, and philosophically. Keeping the ducks in order, sotospeak.

Anyone else done this??

 

[ladyforsaken]

*raises hand*

Doing this, as we speak.

 

[Cavey]

Eight years ago, when I separated from my wife, I had no interest in initiating another relationship with anyone, so I have just worked on myself since then. What is the point of looking for someone to love, when the problems that ruined my marriage still exist?

If you can't love yourself, blah blah blah.

 

[HoodedMonk]

*raises hand*

Doing this, as we speak.

I have already done.

 

[Mr. M]

I'm in a situation where I can't have friends, anyone who knows I exist unless I spam them with 15 messages just to get a hi before they magically seize to exist in this plane of existence or a partner. After being in this hole of loneliness for 10 months, I can say "Me too".

 

[Tealeaf]

In a choice between what's out there and nothing, nothing looks pretty good.

 

[LonelySutton]

Going on about 10 years for me.

Yesterday I was talking with a friend who got married 10 years ago. I remember feeling badly at the time. But she announced that she was going through a divorce. I just felt like what a waste. I remember the money and time she spent on the wedding, the money and time for her to lose weight, the money and time to have a kid, and now, the money and time to get a divorce, while I was just sitting over here living my life.

Think I maybe did the right thing.

 

[Disaffected]

I never tried to begin with, never seemed realistic.

 

[SofiasMami]

I've pretty much totally stopped looking for a partner.
I don't do the online dating thing, and haven't since I was much younger, and well I can't seem to find a local girl on my level of things both artistically and responsibly. So, I gave up and stopped trying. I resigned my life to focusing on myself and my personal interests spiritually, artistically, financially, and philosophically. Keeping the ducks in order, sotospeak.

Anyone else done this??

Oh, yeah, totally, but I don't know if I would personally use the word resignation. Maybe moving on is a more accurate description for me. I took up learning an instrument, I'm concentrating more on doing a stellar job at work and focusing on raising my kid to be a decent person and contributing member of society.
Sure, there are times when I'm lonely but I don't think finding a relationship would help me that much to have a more satisfactory existence.

-Teresa

 

[user 115627]

Resignation? I'm not sure...

In my head it was a conscious decision made to prevent further pain and suffering inflicted on others and myself. I should've just let it be after my first attempt.
Now I always tell others I prefer to focus on my career and getting my life in order first. Which is basically a white lie since this process is not scheduled to end anytime in the near future.

 

[ardour]

I never tried to begin with, never seemed realistic.

Didn't seem realistic for me either, given some of the reactions I got just... existing.

I imagine there would be a lot of anxiety involved, always worrying about what the other is thinking; whether they're happy or not.

There's something about investing so much of your life around one person, knowing at any time they could leave. I admire those who can trust someone like that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I resigned my life to focusing on myself and my personal interests spiritually, artistically, financially, and philosophically. Keeping the ducks in order, sotospeak.

Anyone else done this??

I wouldn't say I resigned myself to not looking. Working on myself, finding myself, being a better person, getting my own ducks in order is more important to me than finding someone. When my ducks are all in a row (lol, like that will ever fully happen ), I will be a better person and more able to carry on in a relationship.

Myself and my children are more important than a guy.

 

[PenDragon]

Resignation? No. Cause I never looked earlier but when I looked I found.

True about commitment thing though, it takes a lot and gives a lot too. Not an easy thing in this time when everyone is looking for easier and shortest way to do things, people usually take the one road which require less effort and hence the falling apart thing happens. But If one is willing to work on it provided that one is sure enough that it will be good thing to achieve then it's definitely worth trying.

And second point, people want to save themselves from same pain and suffering again and again so It might seem good thing to resign but I don't think It's gonna help in future when you really need company, youth passes away like wind but when sun is about to set everyone needs it.

 

[user 115627]

People want to save themselves from same pain and suffering again and again so It might seem good thing to resign but I don't think It's gonna help in future when you really need company, youth passes away like wind but when sun is about to set everyone needs it.

You think about it differently once you got blamed for somebody else's suicidal intentions.

Can't say I blame you for having that happy-go-lucky attitude since you seem to be experiencing this "revelation" of how great love can be right now. But there are just as much twisted and painful moments in love and if you had gone through them, you'd know what I'm talking about. Some of us have made certain experiences that made us reconsider how much pain this supposed gain is worth though.

So I wouldn't tell anybody what they need just because of what you need and receive it right now.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I suppose a brighter way of looking at it would be saying, "Good things come to those who wait."

 

[PenDragon]

People want to save themselves from same pain and suffering again and again so It might seem good thing to resign but I don't think It's gonna help in future when you really need company, youth passes away like wind but when sun is about to set everyone needs it.

You think about it differently once you got blamed for somebody else's suicidal intentions.

Can't say I blame you for having that happy-go-lucky attitude since you seem to be experiencing this "revelation" of how great love can be right now. But there are just as much twisted and painful moments in love and if you had gone through them, you'd know what I'm talking about. Some of us have made certain experiences that made us reconsider how much pain this supposed gain is worth though.

So I wouldn't tell anybody what they need just because of what you need and receive it right now.

Revealtion, no. It was always inside me since the time I came to know world but yes, never expereinced it before. I have my share of pain and twisted honeysuckle but I got through everytime but I am not forcing others to go through that again and again just cause It doesn't break me everytime. I'm simply putting the fact of chances, some take it and some don't depend on their past experiences and outcome from last deep wound they had recieved from it. Everyone needs it, at some point you needed it too, correct me If I'm wrong. But experiences made them reconsider their appraoch on subject. It's an escape from pain and I don't think It's wrong to save oneself from getting hurt again and again. but my approach is pretty simple I get up everytime after falling. And start new as long as I can take it and so far I haven't get to the point of resignation yet.

And edit, Love is not confined to one dimension only but then again Love is generally perceived as Romance, love is needed and no, it doesn't have to be romantic all the time.

But whatever we say it all comes down to personal choice, not me neither you can put people what they should do, we can only say things what we have felt and we have seen which can be entirely different from their perspective.

For example, My Happy-go-lucky attitude. It's product of my own I could have taken things in some other way and would have succumb myself to me only but then I believe I have happiness inside me so I reach out to share them. Though my memories are full of dark and black holes I don't let them have control over me cause I believe, staying in the past won't be a good thing.

 

[Niantiel]

My friends are going on the hook Mik up with a girl kick. -_-....

My mind is just, elsewhere. I don't too much care for romance at this point in my life.

She's a lovely girl. Was nice talking to her. But, I'm not...looking...FOR THAT, you know what I mean??

Shame. She was also quite pretty.
Oh well. Back to awesome things, like how happy I am that I don't have to work tomorrow because it's a holiday, so I can pass the time with music doing chores, food, and housework. Lest my friends sober up and we do band practice later today.

 

[user 115627]

Everyone needs it, at some point you needed it too, correct me If I'm wrong. But experiences made them reconsider their appraoch on subject. It's an escape from pain and I don't think It's wrong to save oneself from getting hurt again and again. but my approach is pretty simple I get up everytime after falling. And start new as long as I can take it and so far I haven't get to the point of resignation yet.

Did I need it? No, not really. Did I go for anyway? Yes. I gave it multiple chances and it got me where I am now.

It's good that you have taken the always-getting-up-again approach for yourself, but it doesn't work that way in every case and certainly not for everyone. People get tired of scraping themselves up every single time, especially if the same old wound gets torn open repeatedly. Is that an escape? Pfft, maybe...but at some point the shallow premise that something good may happen is just not worth the trouble anymore.

And edit, Love is not confined to one dimension only but then again Love is generally perceived as Romance, love is needed and no, it doesn't have to be romantic all the time.

Completely irrelevant in this particular context.

But whatever we say it all comes down to personal choice, not me neither you can put people what they should do, we can only say things what we have felt and we have seen which can be entirely different from their perspective.

Then don't say that everyone needs love or company just because you accepted this as a grand truth for yourself.

For example, My Happy-go-lucky attitude. It's product of my own I could have taken things in some other way and would have succumb myself to me only but then I believe I have happiness inside me so I reach out to share them. Though my memories are full of dark and black holes I don't let them have control over me cause I believe, staying in the past won't be a good thing.

Fine if it's working for you. But it's your way and it's not fit for everyone.

It's not about some memory having this ominous control over you either. It's about considering what you experienced, drawing the right conclusions for yourself and sometimes rearranging your priorities. The act of letting go happens easier after you find yourself beaten and bruised repeatedly. And I won't judge anybody for it, neither would I tell them what they need just because I need it. This is the point I was making all along.

---

My friends are going on the hook Mik up with a girl kick. -_-....

My mind is just, elsewhere. I don't too much care for romance at this point in my life.

She's a lovely girl. Was nice talking to her. But, I'm not...looking...FOR THAT, you know what I mean??

Shame. She was also quite pretty.
Oh well. Back to awesome things, like how happy I am that I don't have to work tomorrow because it's a holiday, so I can pass the time with music doing chores, food, and housework. Lest my friends sober up and we do band practice later today.

Perfectly understandable. But if you aren't up for it right now, you just aren't. You don't have to deal with that kinda nonsense.

I don't know why your friends think you are in need of a hook-up, but I guess they know better, huh? Happens too often, sadly. Hope they aren't too persistent.

 

[PenDragon]

Did I need it? No, not really. Did I go for anyway? Yes. I gave it multiple chances and it got me where I am now.

It's good that you have taken the always-getting-up-again approach for yourself, but it doesn't work that way in every case and certainly not for everyone. People get tired of scraping themselves up every single time, especially if the same old wound gets torn open repeatedly. Is that an escape? Pfft, maybe...but at some point the shallow premise that something good may happen is just not worth the trouble anymore.

Nothing good will come up that's your point of view doesn't apply for everyone same as my view. I see the hope of having something better and it is worth having little trouble, nothing can be gain without some effort.

Completely irrelevant in this particular context.

That's why It was edited felt like adding it cause everytime I say love people start jumping on me all over again.

Then don't say that everyone needs love or company just because you accepted this as a grand truth for yourself.

Human nature, proven many times not once, Human is social animal that's what I have known If you're gonna prove some other thing then please sure do that. Tell me, do you not have company? Not even for a second? Do you not talk with anyone? I can understand you're not "craving" for love thing but don't you seek company? Don't you want someone who can listen you when you talk? Don't you need that?

Fine if it's working for you. But it's your way and it's not fit for everyone.

Same can be said about your way too, you don't want to look it's your choice and i want to look that's my choice too, doesn't go for every single one. How can you know what is fit and what's not fit for everyone? Thing which is fit for you might be not fitting for some other.

It's not about some memory having this ominous control over you either. It's about considering what you experienced, drawing the right conclusions for yourself and sometimes rearranging your priorities. The act of letting go happens easier after you find yourself beaten and bruised repeatedly. And I won't judge anybody for it, neither would I tell them what they need just because I need it. This is the point I was making all along.

That is exactly me saying, point of view from my perspective, no one has to follow them necessarily. I'm stating what I have gone through just like you are expressing what you done with yours.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Then don't say that everyone needs love or company just because you accepted this as a grand truth for yourself.

Human nature, proven many times not once, Human is social animal that's what I have known If you're gonna prove some other thing then please sure do that. Tell me, do you not have company? Not even for a second? Do you not talk with anyone? I can understand you're not "craving" for love thing but don't you seek company? Don't you want someone who can listen you when you talk? Don't you need that?

PD, I think you and I have had this sort of similar conversation before. While maybe you are asking these questions in these ways here, they ring the same bells to what you asked me before about my stance in this similar matter.

Human nature, social animals, whatever we are. It doesn't matter. Cos we as humans can make choices and decide how we want to live our lives. It all depends on how strongly we feel about something and in this case, as I did tell you before, I do not want any close contact with anyone anymore and I'm perfectly fine with that. I even mentioned in my previous diary post I don't yearn for it and it doesn't bother me if this is how it'll be for the rest of my life.

I also told you how I could keep going in this way without feeling the need to "bond" as you might recall. It's all about your views on this, and how strongly you feel about it based on your experiences, self-control and self-discipline, maturity and pure clarity.

It's not a bad thing to "resign". Perhaps the word "resignation" has a negative connotation to it. But for some of us, it's a choice we make and we are perfectly fine living that way. Not depressed, not sad, not disturbed. Just a choice we make.

So forgive me if I'm butting in here, but I just thought of reinforcing what I already said before, it IS possible for a human being not to crave for another person for anything at all. In my case though, since I already have some few close friends, I still talk to them yes. But will I get depressed if I don't? No, I won't. Do I need interaction with them? No. I don't.