I am 40 years old and live with my mother who's 89 that I am a caregiver for just about 24/7. She has high blood pressure, a pacemaker is prone to epileptic seizures, memory retention problems (due to epileptic seizures, which severed her median nerve some 2018), her equilibrium is off as well sometimes she walks with a cane, altogether she is just slowing down due to age. My once extremely active mother is an unrecognizable shell of herself and I'm sure that she suffers from a deep depression because of it.
Due to everything going on with her, she often lashes out at me and is verbally abusive at times (which I don't take it personally because it's due to her depression geared towards her life-changing drastically) I do the best I can to ensure the rest of her days are spent as comfortably as possible. I cook, I clean, I run errands, I manage finances, I help her often with filling out paperwork, basically I help her with whatever I can.
Before entering my current relationship, we both had several conversations about what my life entailed, and he kept reassuring me that he understood and also wanted to become long-term with me and he could see marriage in the future.
He told me that he would be there for me and help me in any way that he could. That he didn't mind and understood the responsibilities and challenges of being solely responsible for the well-being of another as he is a father. We came to the conclusion that we would just do our best to incorporate and come to some peace about these things to have a hopefully prosperous relationship.
We have been dating for 6 months. We were seeing each other every day for about an hour or two a day, but we would communicate via phone for most of the remaining days.
Lately, he seems to have developed a selfish or "entitlement" feeling/phase. I feel like he wishes that my mother wasn't a factor so that we could marry and start a life together. he has been feeling slighted. Lately, he'll make insensitive marks and doesn't honor or cherish the time we do spend together. It's always wishing that he had more time with me. . Like right after we spend time together instead of the usual text saying he enjoyed our time together and can't wait to see me again... He's been asking me how long is "this" going to continue?
Bear in mind he has a small child that he takes care of on a bi-weekly basis in which during that time we don't see each other, we just communicate via phone, and he often apologizes for the absence. I always assure him that there's nothing to apologize for, and also not to ever apologize for being a father to his child.
I feel as though if he wanted for us to spend more time together and grow more in our relationship, he could offer to come into my home and spend time with my mom and i, or help around the house. Even simple things like dishes, cleaning, washing clothes a little to help me. I could probably see if I could get outdoors and do the occasional activity with him every once in a while.
I am also physically "impaired". I have congenital heart malformation with leaky heart valves, heart murmurs that often make me fatigued and the simplest tasks take a lot of energy from me. In the midst of everything else, I also care for my dog.
I feel like a relationship as a caregiver is achievable, with the right partner. I feel like maybe he isn't the right person to have something long-term with. He's already complaining lately about everything and it's been 6 months. Challenges, life circumstances, and situations can easily arise at any point. I feel like he is a "bailer out" and a runner when things get difficult. this screams short-term for me.
Am I overreacting?? Am I wrong??
Due to everything going on with her, she often lashes out at me and is verbally abusive at times (which I don't take it personally because it's due to her depression geared towards her life-changing drastically) I do the best I can to ensure the rest of her days are spent as comfortably as possible. I cook, I clean, I run errands, I manage finances, I help her often with filling out paperwork, basically I help her with whatever I can.
Before entering my current relationship, we both had several conversations about what my life entailed, and he kept reassuring me that he understood and also wanted to become long-term with me and he could see marriage in the future.
He told me that he would be there for me and help me in any way that he could. That he didn't mind and understood the responsibilities and challenges of being solely responsible for the well-being of another as he is a father. We came to the conclusion that we would just do our best to incorporate and come to some peace about these things to have a hopefully prosperous relationship.
We have been dating for 6 months. We were seeing each other every day for about an hour or two a day, but we would communicate via phone for most of the remaining days.
Lately, he seems to have developed a selfish or "entitlement" feeling/phase. I feel like he wishes that my mother wasn't a factor so that we could marry and start a life together. he has been feeling slighted. Lately, he'll make insensitive marks and doesn't honor or cherish the time we do spend together. It's always wishing that he had more time with me. . Like right after we spend time together instead of the usual text saying he enjoyed our time together and can't wait to see me again... He's been asking me how long is "this" going to continue?
Bear in mind he has a small child that he takes care of on a bi-weekly basis in which during that time we don't see each other, we just communicate via phone, and he often apologizes for the absence. I always assure him that there's nothing to apologize for, and also not to ever apologize for being a father to his child.
I feel as though if he wanted for us to spend more time together and grow more in our relationship, he could offer to come into my home and spend time with my mom and i, or help around the house. Even simple things like dishes, cleaning, washing clothes a little to help me. I could probably see if I could get outdoors and do the occasional activity with him every once in a while.
I am also physically "impaired". I have congenital heart malformation with leaky heart valves, heart murmurs that often make me fatigued and the simplest tasks take a lot of energy from me. In the midst of everything else, I also care for my dog.
I feel like a relationship as a caregiver is achievable, with the right partner. I feel like maybe he isn't the right person to have something long-term with. He's already complaining lately about everything and it's been 6 months. Challenges, life circumstances, and situations can easily arise at any point. I feel like he is a "bailer out" and a runner when things get difficult. this screams short-term for me.
Am I overreacting?? Am I wrong??