Xmas alone, New year homeless

there is no hope said:

I keep trying to tell people, this is the only way eugenics can ever end, but humanity has chosen this - it's an easy choice for some people, even those who should know they'll be devoured too.

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cumulus.james said:

Hi ALL and happy Christmas all. I just need to rant or express myself or something.

I am of course alone for Christmas. No cards, no presents no one to talk to. I am also looking at eviction in the new year so I have a future on the streets to look forward to. I am estranged from my family and I can't have friends. I can't have friends not just because I don't know how to make them but also because I feel like I am not worth knowing.

I hardly leave the flat and all that has been on tv is stuff about people being happy at Christmas. I feel trapped in my loneliness. I don't feel like I really exist the way most people do. I wonder what it might be like to have friends. I think about all the happy families at Christmas sitting round the table. I think I will never experience that. I look out my window and see couples. I wonder what that's like.

I feel like I am shutting down or something. It is feeling like the beginning of the end.

I hurt. All day everyday. Just loneliness.

So just using this board to try and say something of how I feel really. Maybe it makes me feel just a bit better to have got some thoughts out my head.

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there is no hope said:

Yes it is the place, because for those facing homelessness, poverty, and extreme social deprivation, it is unavoidable and must be the start of anyone's understanding of the problem. These are indeed bad times to be alive.

I almost got caught up in a nightmare earlier this year because someone thought they were "helping" me - and that nightmare still has not completely passed. If I had forgotten why this world is such a nightmare, I could have easily wound up in a group home or prison, which I am sure would delight people sympathetic to eugenics. I almost certainly will lose what little I have that has been keeping me alive, again something that pleases believers in eugenics. Eugenics is the enemy - eugenics has always been the enemy. It is the same anywhere in the world, for all people who suffer at the hands of that corrupt religion. There are enough examples of this honeysuckle in America and in England, perhaps moreso in the latter thanks to austerity bullshit.

But hey, having several of my relatives killed or forcibly sterilized for the sake of eugenics isn't enough, right? My life being a miserable nightmare isn't enough, right? Of course not - nothing is ever enough for them, and the downtrodden cannot pretend it doesn't exist.

The reason I bring it up is so cumulus.james doesn't beat himself too much over something which won't change. It's not like someone can conform to a social movement which seeks their death, which has shown itself to violate human decency, the law, and basic logic whenever it needs to - and sadly it is that movement which rules the day, guiding the policies of almost every state in the world. It is very easy for a casual observer on the internet to say "durrr, ask the government for help", but in all likelihood that help has run dry due to cutbacks.
Having dealt with the state recently, it's abundantly clear that at least where I'm at, the state apparatus is doing everything they can to wage war on the impoverished (and misappropriating federal funds in the process - thanks Republicans!)

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