Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
how do you become more positive?
#1
I'm wondering if anyone has advice regarding how to not take every single thing that happens in life so seriously. I'm extremely sensitive and negative and fixate on things. I'm not sure what to focus on. I feel my thought processes are so different from everyone. because they are abnormally negative and i'm not sure how to fix it. when you've been told so many times you're negative and have no friends which provides evidence of the fact, you are convinced, yet don't know how to change it. I care too much what others think of me and am not confident in myself, regret and obsess over everything I say and become very anxious about it. I've been told I'm "off" and that "something is wrong with me." I definitely feel that way.
Have any of you had experience with this? I'd love to hear your perspective. How do I attempt to fix this on a daily basis? How do I put my energy elsewhere into something more positive?
Reply
#2
I had been very negative up until not that long ago.  Now things seem to be starting to go in the right direction.

What you need to is start developing stuff in your life that makes you feel good about yourself. At the start of last year I knew I had to do this, now I have a band that I am really excited about, a career plan and this new year I started doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Yoga,  both of which are making me feel better about myself and I'm looking better than I ever have.  

Maybe make a list of all the issues in your life and start by fixing the smallest ones.  You'll feel a better with each problem you fix.
Reply
#3
Clover4You, As it happens, I believe that my biggest flaw is my tendency to say things that I don't realize sound silly or, worse, hurtful. But I know in my heart that I would never wish to intentionally hurt somebody. If you're the sort that is compassionate and considerate of other people's feelings, then, in my opinion, that's the most important thing when it comes to self-worth.

The worst self-esteem killer is being too hung up over what others think - because more often than not, what others think of you is based on their own personal perceptions - which can often be inaccurate. Not to mention unfair. We live in a society where beautiful people are pursued for romance despite having a dreadful personality, and disabled people are viewed as 'inferior' - regardless of the level of severity. So caring too much about what others think is just asking for trouble.

Lost, I agree with you about finding something to improve your self esteem. I myself write fiction, and I'm quite proud of what I can produce once I get into it.

Clover4You, is there something that you're interested in doing? A sport or creative activity? These kind of things can be therapeutic. You may find a sport or a hobby that makes you think 'wow, I had no idea I could do that!'. Your self esteem has nothing to do with what others think of you, it's about showing yourself what you can do.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Reply
#4
Everytime someone used to order this really annoying to make item at the place I work, I always took it very personally. Now it's just another item. Mostly it's just getting used to a situation, and it becomes less stressful. It's just like working out a muscle, the more you use it the easier it gets and the stronger that muscle becomes. I tend to over focus on stuff and get upset by it. I used to smoke pot, though I don't anymore and actually avoid it quite actively ( though I can still smell it from a mile away like a bloodhound ) so I'm not suggesting that at all, but for me personally it helped me reconsider things from another perspective and understand situations from another direction or just generally not care enough to be bothered even if I knew I was correct, to know that it doesn't matter and to let it go. But again, I stress, I don't suggest it. It is a drug. (I'm not against it being legal though. I still drink every once in awhile.) A healthier way of dealing with stuff is being yourself, being sober, and learning how to deal with situations that stress you out.

When it comes to stuff like thoughts of my ex, I just shrug it off. I understand those are things/feelings that will/can never exist again and hope for a brighter future for myself.

I'm not as outgoing, and I don't really have hobbies, I used to draw but I hate it now because of back pain and migraines but hewhowalksalone and Lost aren't wrong at all. Finding something that is for you and no one else, impressing yourself with strides and advancements in that hobby/field, is a good way to be.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
Shy Being Positive About Being Alone IndigoSpace 7 2,148 08-03-2015, 03:58 AM
Last Post: matt4
  the more positive thread :) chrish 19 4,233 12-22-2014, 12:21 AM
Last Post: lonelyfairy
  Something positive I thought I should share. Robert Ellis' ABCD SighX99 2 2,388 07-14-2011, 06:38 AM
Last Post: SighX99
  positive blog wishtoseetheworld 1 1,289 07-02-2011, 09:10 PM
Last Post: no_one
  Positive Blog chesterfield11 2 1,450 06-01-2011, 10:38 PM
Last Post: lonelyfairy
  Hate my life, feel worthless, like a failure, hard to stay positive?? :( nzrusski 33 35,345 04-05-2011, 03:14 PM
Last Post: Thrasymachus
  So here's a pretty honest positive summary of what happened to me. Mr. Sir 11 3,034 01-29-2010, 08:46 AM
Last Post: packyourbags
  I want to be a more positive thinker Mr. Sir 7 1,553 01-26-2010, 04:05 PM
Last Post: Mr. Sir
  The trouble with being positive. Alex 2 1,101 05-21-2009, 04:12 AM
Last Post: Nyktimos
  staying positive is hard! istari 13 3,073 02-23-2009, 08:09 AM
Last Post: jasmin

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)